it?”
“You don’t go after them alone.”
“Who?”
“You know who I’m talking about.”
“How stupid do you think I am?”
“Alex …”
“Vinnie, look at me. Your mother could kick my ass right now.”
He shook his head and smiled. “On another day, when you’re better … promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Vinnie. Right now, I can’t even think about it. But later …”
Later what? Maven was going to arrest them. At this point, that had probably already been done. Was that enough?
Or would I still want to settle things myself? When I was strong again, would I want to go find them, one by one? I knew their names. I knew their faces. I could find out where they lived.
“I’ll promise you this,” I finally said. “If that day comes, I won’t go alone.”
He put the truck in gear. “You’re damned right you won’t.”
As he drove, I kept my eyes closed and listened to the wind whistling past my window. I dozed off for a while. When I woke up, we were just hitting Paradise. He drove through the blinking light, past the Glasgow Inn, then down the access road.
“Looks like somebody plowed while I was in the hospital.”
“My other cousin, Henry. He’s got a plow on his truck now.”
“I guess I owe all of you,” I said.
“It’s nothing.” He pulled into my driveway and stopped the truck.
“Especially you,” I said. “Thanks.”
“Do you have your pills?”
I rattled the bottle in my coat pocket. “Right here.”
“You’re gonna take them?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Alex, it’s okay to take painkillers when you’re in pain.”
“I know that,” I said. “How come you’re so inside my head today?”
“Because I’m your blood brother, remember? I feel what you feel.”
“Get out of here, Vinnie. I don’t need you to—”
“Alex, damn it. Do I have to take those pills from you? I’ll take them and come over and make you swallow one every four hours, I swear.”
Once again, he knew me too well. He knew that there had been a time, back in Detroit, after my partner had been shot, and I had taken those three bullets myself … The pain in my shoulder, where they had tried to put my rotator cuff back together, not to mention the thought of another bullet left inside me, right next to my heart.
Worst of all, the sight of Franklin lying on the floor next to me, the life fading from his eyes as I looked into them. Those long nights when I couldn’t sleep. Those dark hours all by myself. That’s how it started.
“You know as long as you’re in pain,” Vinnie said, “you can’t get addicted to painkillers.”
“Yeah, that’s what they say.”
“Alex—”
“I’ll take them,” I said. “Okay? I’ll take them as long as I need to, and not one day longer.” I opened the door and got out of the truck. He did the same.
“I’ll come by later to see how you’re doing,” he said.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Says you.”
I thanked him again. He walked away, down the access road toward his cabin. It was a good day for a walk if you had the strength for it.
When I went inside, there were five messages on my machine. Three were from downstaters wanting to make reservations, one was from Leon, a few days back, wanting to know where the hell I was. And one was from Natalie. Just calling to say hello. Wondering how I was doing.
“If you only knew,” I said. I didn’t call her back yet. I couldn’t deal with it. Not yet.
My bruises had reached their full-color peak, and as I stood in the bathroom looking in the mirror, I thought to myself, Maven was right. I should sell tickets. The skin around both of my eyes was black now, and my eyes were both streaked bloodred. There was tape above my left eyebrow, and tape on the back of my head, where they had shaved the hair. The same hair I had dyed, standing right here just a matter of days ago, thinking that I could knock off a few years by
“You don’t go after them alone.”
“Who?”
“You know who I’m talking about.”
“How stupid do you think I am?”
“Alex …”
“Vinnie, look at me. Your mother could kick my ass right now.”
He shook his head and smiled. “On another day, when you’re better … promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Vinnie. Right now, I can’t even think about it. But later …”
Later what? Maven was going to arrest them. At this point, that had probably already been done. Was that enough?
Or would I still want to settle things myself? When I was strong again, would I want to go find them, one by one? I knew their names. I knew their faces. I could find out where they lived.
“I’ll promise you this,” I finally said. “If that day comes, I won’t go alone.”
He put the truck in gear. “You’re damned right you won’t.”
As he drove, I kept my eyes closed and listened to the wind whistling past my window. I dozed off for a while. When I woke up, we were just hitting Paradise. He drove through the blinking light, past the Glasgow Inn, then down the access road.
“Looks like somebody plowed while I was in the hospital.”
“My other cousin, Henry. He’s got a plow on his truck now.”
“I guess I owe all of you,” I said.
“It’s nothing.” He pulled into my driveway and stopped the truck.
“Especially you,” I said. “Thanks.”
“Do you have your pills?”
I rattled the bottle in my coat pocket. “Right here.”
“You’re gonna take them?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Alex, it’s okay to take painkillers when you’re in pain.”
“I know that,” I said. “How come you’re so inside my head today?”
“Because I’m your blood brother, remember? I feel what you feel.”
“Get out of here, Vinnie. I don’t need you to—”
“Alex, damn it. Do I have to take those pills from you? I’ll take them and come over and make you swallow one every four hours, I swear.”
Once again, he knew me too well. He knew that there had been a time, back in Detroit, after my partner had been shot, and I had taken those three bullets myself … The pain in my shoulder, where they had tried to put my rotator cuff back together, not to mention the thought of another bullet left inside me, right next to my heart.
Worst of all, the sight of Franklin lying on the floor next to me, the life fading from his eyes as I looked into them. Those long nights when I couldn’t sleep. Those dark hours all by myself. That’s how it started.
“You know as long as you’re in pain,” Vinnie said, “you can’t get addicted to painkillers.”
“Yeah, that’s what they say.”
“Alex—”
“I’ll take them,” I said. “Okay? I’ll take them as long as I need to, and not one day longer.” I opened the door and got out of the truck. He did the same.
“I’ll come by later to see how you’re doing,” he said.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Says you.”
I thanked him again. He walked away, down the access road toward his cabin. It was a good day for a walk if you had the strength for it.
When I went inside, there were five messages on my machine. Three were from downstaters wanting to make reservations, one was from Leon, a few days back, wanting to know where the hell I was. And one was from Natalie. Just calling to say hello. Wondering how I was doing.
“If you only knew,” I said. I didn’t call her back yet. I couldn’t deal with it. Not yet.
My bruises had reached their full-color peak, and as I stood in the bathroom looking in the mirror, I thought to myself, Maven was right. I should sell tickets. The skin around both of my eyes was black now, and my eyes were both streaked bloodred. There was tape above my left eyebrow, and tape on the back of my head, where they had shaved the hair. The same hair I had dyed, standing right here just a matter of days ago, thinking that I could knock off a few years by
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