Ian by Elizabeth Rose Page A

they were called, were who they looked to in order to keep the clan strong and safe. He liked the way he felt with the MacKeefes. And even though he’d had a weak moment and strayed from the clan, all of that was behind him now. Or so he’d thought. Until now.
    He didn’t want Kyla going to live with the MacTavishes any more than he wanted to be a part of that black-hearted clan anymore. She belonged here, with the MacKeefes. So did he. And it was going to kill him to let her go, but he didn’t know how to stop it.
    He wished Aidan and Onyx were here to help him come up with a plan. And he wished Storm were here, because he at least could be reasoned with easier. When Storm’s father made up his mind, he was so stubborn, that there was nothing anyone could do to change it.
    Ian had no one here to help him with this, and even Kyla was fighting against him. This was a battle of which he knew he could not win.
    “Well?” asked Kyla, now sta nding with her arms crossed over her chest. “Are ye goin’ te give me a reason no’ te go marry a MacTavish or no’?”
    He could give her a thousand reasons, but he knew all of them were selfish. He didn’t want her to go because he liked having her around even though she sometimes drove him crazy with the way she followed him everywhere he went. Still, he couldn’t picture a day without hearing her voice chirping like a meadow pipit telling him it was going to be a beautiful day and that he should take her down to the loch to go fishing. Or the way she always cooked haggis, his favorite food, but pretended not to remember how much he liked it.
    He’d watched her grow up , and treasured every damned minute he’d spent with her, though he never wanted to admit it. He loved teasing her and chasing her up into the hills, and when he caught her he’d twirl her around in circles until they both got dizzy and fell into the sweet heather and stared up at the clouds pretending they were castles or dragons.
    Just thinking of another man holding her or kissing her after the intimate moments they’d shared, made him want to chain her up somewhere where no one but he could find her, just so he could keep her all to himself. She was like a beautiful butterfly that had just emerged from her cocoon, and he could kick himself for not noticing this sooner. He’d been so caught up in his own thoughts that he never realized just how special she was to him. He didn’t want her to leave because he needed time to think about everything that had happened. He needed to sort out these new feelings he’d been having toward her.
    His eyes had been op ened in the past few days, and he’d been so confused ever since their first kiss in the stable. He was starting to have feelings for her – just like she’d said. And not just feelings of lust, it was more he realized now. She had asked him if he’d felt this way, but damn, he couldn’t admit it. And the fact she was his best friend’s sister had only made things worse.
    Ian knew she wanted him badly, but he also knew she deserved someone better than him in this lifetime. She deserved someone without a dark, secret past who didn’t have demons in their head. Someone who could be honest with her and give her many bairns and all the sweet sentiments day and night that she longed for. She wanted love, and he couldn’t blame her. But he didn’t know what love was, he only knew lust. And at this moment he truly hated himself because of it. Aye, she deserved someone so much better than him, but she also deserved someone better than a MacTavish too.
    “I . . . dinna ken what te say, Kyla.” His own words choked him and he looked to the ground and wet his lips cursing himself silently in his head. He told himself to just come out and tell her what a fool he’d been not to notice she’d turned into a wonderful woman. He wanted to just blurt out his secrets of his dark past and ask for her forgiveness. And also to tell her that he had feelings for