nipples.
It scared me that it was always like this with him, always a spectacular loss of control. It scared me that he pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me crave more than I should.
“I should go,” I blurted out, pulling away from him. This time I leaped up off the couch, making my way toward the common room door. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. But in spite of myself, I hesitated, my hand hovering over the handle. I tossed out the question behind me, not sure if I asked it more to hear his answer or to try and know my own.
“What was that?”
For a moment I didn’t think he would answer me. And then I heard his voice, low and husky—
“Extra credit.”
Chapter 14
“Have you ever been out of control around a guy?”
Jo laughed. “Um, yeah. Pretty much all the time. Why?”
Because I can’t seem to keep my hands or my lips off Samir and I don’t know what to do about it.
“Just curious.” It was unbearably lame to have this conversation at nineteen, but here we were. I shifted my phone to the other ear. “Things are crazy here right now.”
“I can tell.”
I sighed. “I think I did something stupid last night. I made out with that guy again. The one I kissed.”
“Not the British guy?”
“No. The other one.”
“Was it good?”
“It was amazing.” My voice sounded bleak.
“Don’t sound so excited about it,” Jo teased.
“It’s complicated.”
“Why? Because you like him?”
My fingers clutched the phone. “I don’t like him.”
I couldn’t like him.
“Why?” Jo challenged.
Samir has bad idea written all over him.
“Because…” I struggled to find the right words. “I don’t like the way he makes me feel.”
“What do you mean?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. I just don’t feel like myself around him. I feel out of control, tied up in knots. I do things with him that I wouldn’t normally do.”
“Is that such a bad thing?”
It was scary as hell.
“Yeah. It is.”
“It sounds like he likes you, though.”
I hated the little thrust of hope I felt at her words. “I don’t think so. He’s always with other girls. And yeah, we hook up and stuff, but that’s it. He’s never said anything to me that would make me think he likes me.”
“So why don’t you tell him that you like him? Feel him out?”
I laughed. “Are you joking? I can barely talk to a guy without losing my shit. And besides, I told you—I don’t like him. We just have this weird chemistry thing between us.”
“Then take my advice—the only way to get over someone—”
“I don’t like him,” I protested.
“I know, I know. But seriously the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”
I choked back a laugh. “Thanks. I’ll take that one under advisement.”
Suddenly my cell beeped. I pulled the phone away from my ear, staring at the caller ID.
Blocked.
My heart thudded. That could only mean one thing. “Jo, I gotta go.”
“Okay, Mags. But take my advice.”
“We’ll see,” I evaded, hanging up the phone.
My fingers shook as I hit accept on the other call. My father’s voice filled the line, coming through gravelly.
“How’s school?”
I stilled, clutching the cell phone tightly in my hand. I hadn’t talked to my father in months. The sound of his voice was enough to put dread in the pit of my stomach. No matter how hard I tried or how much I hoped things would be different, these phone calls never went well.
“Things are good. School is busy.” I didn’t think he really cared. I was a box he checked off once a month if I was lucky. Make sure daughter isn’t screwing up. Check. Maybe these little phone calls assuaged his guilt. Maybe my grandparents put him up to it. I had no clue. Sometimes the feigned connection between us hurt more than the absent one.
“Where are you?”
“I’m on base. I’m doing a TDY in the Middle East for a few months. The phone connection’s not great.”
Silence filled the
It scared me that it was always like this with him, always a spectacular loss of control. It scared me that he pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me crave more than I should.
“I should go,” I blurted out, pulling away from him. This time I leaped up off the couch, making my way toward the common room door. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. But in spite of myself, I hesitated, my hand hovering over the handle. I tossed out the question behind me, not sure if I asked it more to hear his answer or to try and know my own.
“What was that?”
For a moment I didn’t think he would answer me. And then I heard his voice, low and husky—
“Extra credit.”
Chapter 14
“Have you ever been out of control around a guy?”
Jo laughed. “Um, yeah. Pretty much all the time. Why?”
Because I can’t seem to keep my hands or my lips off Samir and I don’t know what to do about it.
“Just curious.” It was unbearably lame to have this conversation at nineteen, but here we were. I shifted my phone to the other ear. “Things are crazy here right now.”
“I can tell.”
I sighed. “I think I did something stupid last night. I made out with that guy again. The one I kissed.”
“Not the British guy?”
“No. The other one.”
“Was it good?”
“It was amazing.” My voice sounded bleak.
“Don’t sound so excited about it,” Jo teased.
“It’s complicated.”
“Why? Because you like him?”
My fingers clutched the phone. “I don’t like him.”
I couldn’t like him.
“Why?” Jo challenged.
Samir has bad idea written all over him.
“Because…” I struggled to find the right words. “I don’t like the way he makes me feel.”
“What do you mean?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. I just don’t feel like myself around him. I feel out of control, tied up in knots. I do things with him that I wouldn’t normally do.”
“Is that such a bad thing?”
It was scary as hell.
“Yeah. It is.”
“It sounds like he likes you, though.”
I hated the little thrust of hope I felt at her words. “I don’t think so. He’s always with other girls. And yeah, we hook up and stuff, but that’s it. He’s never said anything to me that would make me think he likes me.”
“So why don’t you tell him that you like him? Feel him out?”
I laughed. “Are you joking? I can barely talk to a guy without losing my shit. And besides, I told you—I don’t like him. We just have this weird chemistry thing between us.”
“Then take my advice—the only way to get over someone—”
“I don’t like him,” I protested.
“I know, I know. But seriously the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”
I choked back a laugh. “Thanks. I’ll take that one under advisement.”
Suddenly my cell beeped. I pulled the phone away from my ear, staring at the caller ID.
Blocked.
My heart thudded. That could only mean one thing. “Jo, I gotta go.”
“Okay, Mags. But take my advice.”
“We’ll see,” I evaded, hanging up the phone.
My fingers shook as I hit accept on the other call. My father’s voice filled the line, coming through gravelly.
“How’s school?”
I stilled, clutching the cell phone tightly in my hand. I hadn’t talked to my father in months. The sound of his voice was enough to put dread in the pit of my stomach. No matter how hard I tried or how much I hoped things would be different, these phone calls never went well.
“Things are good. School is busy.” I didn’t think he really cared. I was a box he checked off once a month if I was lucky. Make sure daughter isn’t screwing up. Check. Maybe these little phone calls assuaged his guilt. Maybe my grandparents put him up to it. I had no clue. Sometimes the feigned connection between us hurt more than the absent one.
“Where are you?”
“I’m on base. I’m doing a TDY in the Middle East for a few months. The phone connection’s not great.”
Silence filled the
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