building up to this one. ‘Long term, you know?’
‘I really haven’t thought about it.’ I crossed my legs and pulled a pillow into my lap. Looking at the dirty grey smudges on the white linen, I could only imagine what a state my face must be in. Bless Louisa for not mentioning it. ‘I was so worried I would have to come back when my visa was revoked that I literally put it to the back of my mind and locked the door.’
‘Alex hasn’t mentioned it?’ Her breeziness faltered. ‘When you got engaged, he didn’t bring it up?’
‘No.’
‘I would have thought you’d have talked about all those things. When you would get married, where you would live, kids. I would have thought it was a bigger issue for you than most couples.’
‘Why?’ I took as subtle a sniff of myself as possible. Dear God I needed a shower. ‘Am I missing something?’
‘No.’ Louisa rested her hand on top of mine and squeezed gently. ‘It’s just that you’re English. Maybe you’d want to move back to England. Where your friends and family are. I would think he’d take that into account, that you both would.’
Hmm. Alex and I hadn’t discussed where we would end up living. But then we rarely discussed where we were going to eat dinner at night before we left the house.
‘It’s just stuff you have to think about,’ she said, leaning back against the wall. ‘Tim and I had to go through it all when we got engaged. He wanted to go and live in Australia for a while, but we agreed we wanted to get pregnant before I was thirty, so we put that on hold. What are you going to do when you get pregnant? Where are you going to live?’
‘Tim wanted to live in Australia?’ I pulled a face. ‘But he gets sunburnt walking out to the car.’
‘I’m just saying you have to think about these things. Before you have a baby.’
‘Tea?’ My mum clattered through the bedroom door carrying two steaming mugs. She smiled lovingly at my best friend before frowning at me and picking up the three empty crisp packets from the bed. ‘Are you staying for dinner, Louisa?’
‘Um, I’m not sure, I’ve got to get Grace into the bath,’ she hedged.
‘We’re having fish and chips. I’m sending David out for them in a minute, so just let me know,’ she added.
‘Oh, actually, it’s only six, isn’t it?’ Louisa brightened. The promise of deep-fried food was almost as exciting as the idea of not having to eat my mum’s over-boiled slop. It seemed almost impossible that she had spent forty years cooking dinner every day and had only got worse. Not that I cooked. Ever. There were too many different Mexican restaurants for me to try before I put anything in the oven. God bless America. ‘I’ll just feed her and then she’ll go down for an hour anyway.’
‘I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but I cannot believe you have a baby,’ I said, jumping up off the bed as soon as my mum had vanished and opening up my suitcase. ‘How is that possible?’
‘So, first your waters break, and then you spend twenty-four hours screaming at the man you love as a far too big living thing squeezes its way out of your vagina, and then—’
‘Yeah, I know the logistics.’ I cut her off, trying not to feel sick. ‘I just can’t believe you − you, Louisa − have a baby. Is she even downstairs? Does she even exist?’
On cue, something on the lower level of the house let out an ungodly roar.
‘Yeah, she’s real,’ Louisa nodded without flinching. ‘And if you can believe it, that’s a happy sound.’
‘Holy shit,’ I whispered. ‘Is it an alien?’
‘I thought she was something from
Alien
when she was coming out,’ she said as she curled up on the bed, rested her head on her arms and watched me unpack. ‘You won’t be able to cope.’
‘I totally won’t,’ I said, still trying not to feel sick. ‘No interest in it. At all.’
‘In having kids?’ Lou reached over the edge of the bed and started pulling things out
‘I really haven’t thought about it.’ I crossed my legs and pulled a pillow into my lap. Looking at the dirty grey smudges on the white linen, I could only imagine what a state my face must be in. Bless Louisa for not mentioning it. ‘I was so worried I would have to come back when my visa was revoked that I literally put it to the back of my mind and locked the door.’
‘Alex hasn’t mentioned it?’ Her breeziness faltered. ‘When you got engaged, he didn’t bring it up?’
‘No.’
‘I would have thought you’d have talked about all those things. When you would get married, where you would live, kids. I would have thought it was a bigger issue for you than most couples.’
‘Why?’ I took as subtle a sniff of myself as possible. Dear God I needed a shower. ‘Am I missing something?’
‘No.’ Louisa rested her hand on top of mine and squeezed gently. ‘It’s just that you’re English. Maybe you’d want to move back to England. Where your friends and family are. I would think he’d take that into account, that you both would.’
Hmm. Alex and I hadn’t discussed where we would end up living. But then we rarely discussed where we were going to eat dinner at night before we left the house.
‘It’s just stuff you have to think about,’ she said, leaning back against the wall. ‘Tim and I had to go through it all when we got engaged. He wanted to go and live in Australia for a while, but we agreed we wanted to get pregnant before I was thirty, so we put that on hold. What are you going to do when you get pregnant? Where are you going to live?’
‘Tim wanted to live in Australia?’ I pulled a face. ‘But he gets sunburnt walking out to the car.’
‘I’m just saying you have to think about these things. Before you have a baby.’
‘Tea?’ My mum clattered through the bedroom door carrying two steaming mugs. She smiled lovingly at my best friend before frowning at me and picking up the three empty crisp packets from the bed. ‘Are you staying for dinner, Louisa?’
‘Um, I’m not sure, I’ve got to get Grace into the bath,’ she hedged.
‘We’re having fish and chips. I’m sending David out for them in a minute, so just let me know,’ she added.
‘Oh, actually, it’s only six, isn’t it?’ Louisa brightened. The promise of deep-fried food was almost as exciting as the idea of not having to eat my mum’s over-boiled slop. It seemed almost impossible that she had spent forty years cooking dinner every day and had only got worse. Not that I cooked. Ever. There were too many different Mexican restaurants for me to try before I put anything in the oven. God bless America. ‘I’ll just feed her and then she’ll go down for an hour anyway.’
‘I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but I cannot believe you have a baby,’ I said, jumping up off the bed as soon as my mum had vanished and opening up my suitcase. ‘How is that possible?’
‘So, first your waters break, and then you spend twenty-four hours screaming at the man you love as a far too big living thing squeezes its way out of your vagina, and then—’
‘Yeah, I know the logistics.’ I cut her off, trying not to feel sick. ‘I just can’t believe you − you, Louisa − have a baby. Is she even downstairs? Does she even exist?’
On cue, something on the lower level of the house let out an ungodly roar.
‘Yeah, she’s real,’ Louisa nodded without flinching. ‘And if you can believe it, that’s a happy sound.’
‘Holy shit,’ I whispered. ‘Is it an alien?’
‘I thought she was something from
Alien
when she was coming out,’ she said as she curled up on the bed, rested her head on her arms and watched me unpack. ‘You won’t be able to cope.’
‘I totally won’t,’ I said, still trying not to feel sick. ‘No interest in it. At all.’
‘In having kids?’ Lou reached over the edge of the bed and started pulling things out
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