I Am The Local Atheist by Warwick Stubbs Page A

tight” – so lots of volunteer
work was sought from the community.
    She jokingly
clicked her fingers at me. “So feel free to volunteer any time you
like.”
    I pointed my
finger at Lucas. “I think he’s the expert at volunteering around
here.”
    Alice laughed
as she went down to the basement with the supervisor while one of
the daytime caregivers gave Lucas, Christie and I a guided
tour.
    The Caregiver
stopped at the banister before taking us upstairs. She noted that
the hostel was meant to be a home for these men, not an institute
or psych ward. “Most of the men and young men are only passing
through, either on bail or just have nowhere else to go; some are
here because they have mental conditions and need to be looked
after. We try our best to encourage the capable men to learn how to
take care of themselves and to work towards leaving so that they
can get back on their own two feet again. Some of these younger
guys can’t stand the curfew rules, but we always say, ‘well, if you
don’t want to live by these rules then move out and live on your
own’.”
    Christie
nodded her head enthusiastically – maybe she had a better
understanding of this place than I did, so I asked “Doesn’t that
mean that they could just end up going back to their old ways?”
    The woman shrugged her shoulders. “We’re not here to baby-sit.
We are here to
look after them though. When people need a place for the night –
we’re here; when people need a place to start over from again
without falling into old habits – we’re here. It’s not important
what state they are in, what is important is that we have a
facility to care for them when they need it the most.”
    A grizzly old man wrapped up in a fluffy bathrobe made his way
down the stairs, somewhat cautiously, perhaps with suspicion, but
definitely oozing derision directly at the caregiver. “I’ll
believe that when
I see it,” he hissed. “You don’t even fuckin’ care about us, y’
fuckin …”
    “ Samuel,” the Caregiver warned, “if you speak again like that
today, you know that you are not going to be getting any dinner
tonight. How about being polite while we have guests
here?”
    He brushed
past us, his slow walk synced with low mumbling. I’m pretty sure it
contained more swearing, but I guessed that he had learnt to keep
quiet just enough so he could still get dinner.
    “ Men like Samuel, well, we still love despite their
idiosyncrasies. We know there’s a heart of gold – somewhere –
underneath all that bitterness.” The Caregiver smiled. “But in the
end, we can only do so much. The rest of these guys, well, some
learn after being in prison even for just a short time that they
never want to go back and they’re the ones who make the effort;
others, well, they might be here for a short time but as soon as
they leave they’re back to their old ways. Guys like that we can’t
do anything for – they never learn their lesson. A couple have been
blacklisted…”
    I looked at
her questioningly.
    “ That means that their record stops them from being able to
live with other people. A couple of guys who have lived here have
been blacklisted, mostly due to notorious theft and not having any
consideration for other people’s welfare.”
    Christie
frowned. “Forced to live on their own? Tough but fair, I
guess.”
    I would have
loved being able to afford to live on my own. It wasn’t like I
needed anyone to talk to – I certainly had no desire to make
conversation with Tinsdale and Martin; even with Martin being a
gaming freak we barely spoke to each other that much.
    I was finding
it hard to sustain any sense of sympathy towards anyone here, least
of all the ones who had gone out of their way to hurt other
people.
    “ It sure is,” Lucas said. “It’s not like they didn’t make a
choice to break the law though. I mean, when it comes down to it,
regardless of their situation, they are the ones who made the
decision that would end up with