she quickly turns
her attention to me, her lips barely open, but her face saying everything. She
doesn’t want me to come—I don’t even have to ask. But she needs me to come—because Max
asked. I haven’t known him long, but I know enough to know this is a big deal.
My eyes lock with Avery’s, and I do my best to smile,
genuinely. “I’d love to, Max. I’d love to,” I say, and Avery’s shoulders
instantly relax.
I understand why getting a haircut was such a big deal the moment
we pull into the parking lot in front of the barber. Max seemed fine for most
of the car ride, his mind occupied with his game for most of the way. Once we
pulled in, and Avery took the iPad from him to store in her purse, everything
about Max began to change.
It’s not a normal tantrum like I’m used to seeing. My mom
used to babysit kids Max’s age, and when they didn’t get ice cream or to watch
their favorite cartoon, it was hard to convince the neighbors that my mom
wasn’t beating them.
But Max is different. It’s clear he’s uncomfortable.
Something is suddenly off, and his eyes are darting in all directions, not able
to focus on a single person or place. It’s almost panic, but yet it seems so
much worse. He’s unsettled, like he doesn’t belong.
When Avery opens the back door, rather than exiting, Max
starts to kick and rock, each time his movements gaining more power. I want to
help, and I feel like I’m intruding by just standing behind her, but honestly,
I don’t know where the hell to even begin. When she reaches in, just hoping to
get his hand, he smacks it away, repeatedly, and starts humming anxiously.
“Max, you need to use your words. Tell me what’s wrong?” she
sounds so desperate, and I can’t help but join in.
“Yeah, Max. I was excited to come along with you. What’s
wrong, buddy?” I say, but Avery just shoots me a death stare over her shoulder
when I speak. I shrug my shoulders with frustration. I know she’s trying to
dissolve this situation, and I know she’s embarrassed, but fuck ! I’m just trying to help. I have no idea what to do.
Avery gets in the car next to Max and shuts the door,
locking me on the outside. I’m left to do nothing but lean on the nearby light
post and watch. I can’t hear them, but I know Max is still humming. Avery’s
eyes are closed, and she’s sitting calmly next to Max, just waiting. Her lips
are barely moving, almost as if she’s talking to herself. After a few minutes,
Max seems to be relaxing, and that’s when I see Avery’s eyes open. She
unbuckles her purse and shows Max a bag of something that looks like candies,
and she pulls one out and hands it to him before putting the rest in her purse.
Finally, after at least ten minutes, Max turns his head in her direction; his
eyes are almost on hers when he talks, before he suddenly turns back to the
front.
I look away when the door opens, mostly because I don’t want
to make things worse. Max follows Avery into the barber, and I trail behind,
noticing how he’s dragging his feet and fidgeting with his hands. He’s
terrified.
“Hey, Nick. Thanks for opening up for us,” she says, her
smile soft and utterly defeated. Nick opened up special…just for them. I get
it. And I wish I could tell her. But she doesn’t want pity. She just wants the
next two hours to pass, and me to never bring them up to her. And I get that,
too.
“Sure thing, Avery. You know Max is my favorite customer,”
Nick says, his overgrown, graying mustache dusting the top of his lips. “Max,
can you sit on the special chair for me? I’ll let you decide how high it needs
to be.”
I can tell that Nick has done this before. I can also tell
that he’s not sure if it’s going to work today. Max is still rocking a little
from side-to-side, and his hands have started tugging at one another harder.
I’m so goddamned heartbroken for him that I just jump in with both feet, and
try something completely unwelcomed, but that I
her attention to me, her lips barely open, but her face saying everything. She
doesn’t want me to come—I don’t even have to ask. But she needs me to come—because Max
asked. I haven’t known him long, but I know enough to know this is a big deal.
My eyes lock with Avery’s, and I do my best to smile,
genuinely. “I’d love to, Max. I’d love to,” I say, and Avery’s shoulders
instantly relax.
I understand why getting a haircut was such a big deal the moment
we pull into the parking lot in front of the barber. Max seemed fine for most
of the car ride, his mind occupied with his game for most of the way. Once we
pulled in, and Avery took the iPad from him to store in her purse, everything
about Max began to change.
It’s not a normal tantrum like I’m used to seeing. My mom
used to babysit kids Max’s age, and when they didn’t get ice cream or to watch
their favorite cartoon, it was hard to convince the neighbors that my mom
wasn’t beating them.
But Max is different. It’s clear he’s uncomfortable.
Something is suddenly off, and his eyes are darting in all directions, not able
to focus on a single person or place. It’s almost panic, but yet it seems so
much worse. He’s unsettled, like he doesn’t belong.
When Avery opens the back door, rather than exiting, Max
starts to kick and rock, each time his movements gaining more power. I want to
help, and I feel like I’m intruding by just standing behind her, but honestly,
I don’t know where the hell to even begin. When she reaches in, just hoping to
get his hand, he smacks it away, repeatedly, and starts humming anxiously.
“Max, you need to use your words. Tell me what’s wrong?” she
sounds so desperate, and I can’t help but join in.
“Yeah, Max. I was excited to come along with you. What’s
wrong, buddy?” I say, but Avery just shoots me a death stare over her shoulder
when I speak. I shrug my shoulders with frustration. I know she’s trying to
dissolve this situation, and I know she’s embarrassed, but fuck ! I’m just trying to help. I have no idea what to do.
Avery gets in the car next to Max and shuts the door,
locking me on the outside. I’m left to do nothing but lean on the nearby light
post and watch. I can’t hear them, but I know Max is still humming. Avery’s
eyes are closed, and she’s sitting calmly next to Max, just waiting. Her lips
are barely moving, almost as if she’s talking to herself. After a few minutes,
Max seems to be relaxing, and that’s when I see Avery’s eyes open. She
unbuckles her purse and shows Max a bag of something that looks like candies,
and she pulls one out and hands it to him before putting the rest in her purse.
Finally, after at least ten minutes, Max turns his head in her direction; his
eyes are almost on hers when he talks, before he suddenly turns back to the
front.
I look away when the door opens, mostly because I don’t want
to make things worse. Max follows Avery into the barber, and I trail behind,
noticing how he’s dragging his feet and fidgeting with his hands. He’s
terrified.
“Hey, Nick. Thanks for opening up for us,” she says, her
smile soft and utterly defeated. Nick opened up special…just for them. I get
it. And I wish I could tell her. But she doesn’t want pity. She just wants the
next two hours to pass, and me to never bring them up to her. And I get that,
too.
“Sure thing, Avery. You know Max is my favorite customer,”
Nick says, his overgrown, graying mustache dusting the top of his lips. “Max,
can you sit on the special chair for me? I’ll let you decide how high it needs
to be.”
I can tell that Nick has done this before. I can also tell
that he’s not sure if it’s going to work today. Max is still rocking a little
from side-to-side, and his hands have started tugging at one another harder.
I’m so goddamned heartbroken for him that I just jump in with both feet, and
try something completely unwelcomed, but that I
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