perfect beginning to our relationship there really wasn’t anywhere to go but down. I hadn’t wanted to think about the bad things or consider that things might not always stay the way they were. The honeymoon stage was over and I was sad to see it go.
I wasn’t quite sure when things started to deteriorate. It wasn’t one single thing that made me question our relationship; it was a slow shift in priorities, a change in attitude. Suddenly, it wasn’t as important for Braden to come home right after band practice. There was always time to have a beer with the guys, even if I was at home wondering where he was. I felt like an old crabby married lady, nagging on him all the time. ‘Where will you be? Will you be home late? Where are you practicing tonight?’ I’m sure that Braden hated every minute of my badgering, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
It wasn’t a matter of not trusting him. I trusted Braden. It was more that I didn’t feel important anymore. At the start of our relationship, I was his number one priority. He called to make sure I knew where he was, even if he was only a few minutes late. He brought home food when I worked a long shift, and left me notes telling me he loved me, along with the location and phone number of where the band was practicing.
One of the reasons that I had always felt so connected with Braden was all the little things we did together. We loved going on drives, late at night, stopping for coffee somewhere along the way. We never really went anywhere, just drove around talking about all kinds of things, including our life together. When you share as much of yourself as we did, you end up feeling as if no one could ever know you as well as that person does.
We hadn’t had a chance to do anything together lately, let alone drive around for no reason at all. By the time Braden came home from practice, I was usually sleeping or faking it, so he wouldn’t see how upset I was.
I thought about my conversation with Cara, only six months ago. Everything seemed to be perfect then. I was living out my dream, playing house with a great guy, working at a job that I loved, and hanging out with my two best girlfriends. What could be better? I thought about the case of Love Denial that I had come down with. I was so sure that we were the ultimate lovers, right up there with Romeo and Juliet, Cinderella and Prince Charming, and Jennifer Gray and Patrick Swayze!
I had always imagined that when I fell in love, the man I gave my heart to would place me ahead of everything else. That was how I treated Braden, and I assumed that he’d do the same. But then again, you know what they say about assuming.
Now I was dealing with the idea that it wasn’t exactly the way I had hoped. I came about fourth on Braden’s list. There was his music, which I had come to find, would always be number one. Then there were his friends, most of who were in his band, that he always wanted to hang out with. After that came partying, and who wants to come after that?
I had tried to bring up the topic with Braden, but I was afraid of his reaction. After all, his parents had been so unsupportive. I didn’t want him to feel that disapproval from me. I loved his music and wanted him to succeed; I just didn’t want our relationship to fail because of it.
What I hated most was Braden’s jealousy. I never noticed it until his attention started moving away from me. We went a week or so
without spending much time together, and then he popped into the store to see me. I was busy with a male customer who was being pretty friendly. I didn’t think anything of it, since there were times when men were flirty with me a work. I normally ignore it or pass it off as an occupational hazard. Braden interrupted us in the middle of a sale, pulling me away, saying it was important. All he wanted to do was prove that he was with me. I was totally humiliated. I asked Braden if we could talk later, but by the time I got home, I
I wasn’t quite sure when things started to deteriorate. It wasn’t one single thing that made me question our relationship; it was a slow shift in priorities, a change in attitude. Suddenly, it wasn’t as important for Braden to come home right after band practice. There was always time to have a beer with the guys, even if I was at home wondering where he was. I felt like an old crabby married lady, nagging on him all the time. ‘Where will you be? Will you be home late? Where are you practicing tonight?’ I’m sure that Braden hated every minute of my badgering, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.
It wasn’t a matter of not trusting him. I trusted Braden. It was more that I didn’t feel important anymore. At the start of our relationship, I was his number one priority. He called to make sure I knew where he was, even if he was only a few minutes late. He brought home food when I worked a long shift, and left me notes telling me he loved me, along with the location and phone number of where the band was practicing.
One of the reasons that I had always felt so connected with Braden was all the little things we did together. We loved going on drives, late at night, stopping for coffee somewhere along the way. We never really went anywhere, just drove around talking about all kinds of things, including our life together. When you share as much of yourself as we did, you end up feeling as if no one could ever know you as well as that person does.
We hadn’t had a chance to do anything together lately, let alone drive around for no reason at all. By the time Braden came home from practice, I was usually sleeping or faking it, so he wouldn’t see how upset I was.
I thought about my conversation with Cara, only six months ago. Everything seemed to be perfect then. I was living out my dream, playing house with a great guy, working at a job that I loved, and hanging out with my two best girlfriends. What could be better? I thought about the case of Love Denial that I had come down with. I was so sure that we were the ultimate lovers, right up there with Romeo and Juliet, Cinderella and Prince Charming, and Jennifer Gray and Patrick Swayze!
I had always imagined that when I fell in love, the man I gave my heart to would place me ahead of everything else. That was how I treated Braden, and I assumed that he’d do the same. But then again, you know what they say about assuming.
Now I was dealing with the idea that it wasn’t exactly the way I had hoped. I came about fourth on Braden’s list. There was his music, which I had come to find, would always be number one. Then there were his friends, most of who were in his band, that he always wanted to hang out with. After that came partying, and who wants to come after that?
I had tried to bring up the topic with Braden, but I was afraid of his reaction. After all, his parents had been so unsupportive. I didn’t want him to feel that disapproval from me. I loved his music and wanted him to succeed; I just didn’t want our relationship to fail because of it.
What I hated most was Braden’s jealousy. I never noticed it until his attention started moving away from me. We went a week or so
without spending much time together, and then he popped into the store to see me. I was busy with a male customer who was being pretty friendly. I didn’t think anything of it, since there were times when men were flirty with me a work. I normally ignore it or pass it off as an occupational hazard. Braden interrupted us in the middle of a sale, pulling me away, saying it was important. All he wanted to do was prove that he was with me. I was totally humiliated. I asked Braden if we could talk later, but by the time I got home, I
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