How to be a Pirate's Dragon (Hiccup) by Cressida Cowell Page B
Authors: Cressida Cowell
Tags: General, Humorous stories, Historical, Juvenile Nonfiction, Action & Adventure, Juvenile Fiction, YA), Fantasy & magical realism (Children's, Children's Fiction, Science Fiction; Fantasy; & Magic, Medieval, Animals, Dragons, Mythical, Treasure Troves, Pirates, Vikings
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"A poisonous Monstrous Strangulator. My favorite kind."
Alvin fainted as soon as he set eyes on that deadly tail. He was frightened of needles.
So the Strangulator didn't even bother to inject him. It just swallowed him whole, alive, just as he was, Stormblade and all.
In fascinated horror, Hiccup watched the now awake and struggling form of Alvin traveling down the Strangulator's transparent throat.
"So," thought Hiccup, "the Eater of Human Flesh is eaten himself. Isn't fate artistic?"
Sometimes it is harder to force yourself to stand still than it is to run away, but Hiccup knew that he wouldn't have a chance if he tried to escape. This animal was just too big. So Hiccup froze, in the hope that the Creature's eyesight was poor, like other beasts that lived solely underground.
Hiccup was probably right, but one of those
195
constantly moving tentacles accidentally bumped into him, and as soon as it made contact with his warm body it automatically wrapped itself around Hiccup, and lifted him into the air.
"A Plan!" Fishlegs shouted out wildly from below. "You need a Fiendishly Clever Plan!"
"Thank you, Fishlegs," said Hiccup, his mind flicking about like a shrimp in a net, and trying to ignore the terrible squeezing around his chest. "I'm aware of that... TOOTHLESS! Come up here!"
The tentacles were turning Hiccup over and over. Toothless flapped up, and hovered as close as he could. Hiccup shouted something into the little dragon's ear.
"That's a t-t-t-terrible plan," moaned Toothless, shaking his head.
"Just do as you're told. for ONCE in your life," yelled Hiccup.
While the Creature remained unconscious of having caught anything, Hiccup still stood a chance of escape. With his sword, he jabbed away at the sticky tentacle that was encircling his trunk and it seemed to be loosening....
196
Way down at the bottom of the treasure mound, Fishlegs was frantically trying to be helpful.
[Image: He lifted the sword high, high above his head.]
In front of him, there lay a heavily bejeweled monstrosity of a sword. Despite the fact that it was nearly as big as himself, Fishlegs managed to pick it up from the floor. Purple in the face with the extraordinary effort, he lifted it high, high above his head, ready to launch it at the Creature's stomach....
197
Unfortunately the backwards momentum of the sword was so great that Fishlegs toppled very slowly backwards with it. There was a bronze shield on the floor behind him, and he landed on it with such force that he knocked himself out.
The noise of Fishlegs's head connecting with the shield caught the Creature's attention and light finally dawned in its dull eyes, which swam into focus on Hiccup. Its tentacles gripped strongly and escape became impossible.
"More food?" it mused to itself.
"NOT food!" Hiccup shouted out. "I'm POISONOUS. Very,very POISONOUS!"
"Poissonoussssss?" hissed the Creature. "It ssspeakss and iss poissonousss, is it? I'M poissssson-ousssssss. Sssssssee?"
And it waved the deadly plunger of its tail menacingly in front of Hiccup.
"Don't like it when the food sssspeaks...," whined the Creature to itself. "Isss trickssssy when it ssspeaks... kill it quickly before it trickssss me...."
It wrapped its tentacles a little tighter around Hiccup in order to suffocate him.
198
"This is all very, interesting," Hiccup managed to choke out, his eyes popping. "So, how were you thinking of killing me, exactly?"
Gradually, the awful pressure on Hiccup's chest eased as the Strangulator considered this question.
"Well," it said slowly, "I wasssss thinking of ssssssqueezing you to death. ..."
"I onlyask," said Hiccup, gasping for air, "because I was recently nearly swallowed by a Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus, who said, that you Undergrounders were very primitive animals, poorly armed, and only capable of basic forms of killing, such as strangulation."
The Creature stopped squeezing entirely.
"That'ssss very rude," it hissed eventually, rather hurt.
Alvin fainted as soon as he set eyes on that deadly tail. He was frightened of needles.
So the Strangulator didn't even bother to inject him. It just swallowed him whole, alive, just as he was, Stormblade and all.
In fascinated horror, Hiccup watched the now awake and struggling form of Alvin traveling down the Strangulator's transparent throat.
"So," thought Hiccup, "the Eater of Human Flesh is eaten himself. Isn't fate artistic?"
Sometimes it is harder to force yourself to stand still than it is to run away, but Hiccup knew that he wouldn't have a chance if he tried to escape. This animal was just too big. So Hiccup froze, in the hope that the Creature's eyesight was poor, like other beasts that lived solely underground.
Hiccup was probably right, but one of those
195
constantly moving tentacles accidentally bumped into him, and as soon as it made contact with his warm body it automatically wrapped itself around Hiccup, and lifted him into the air.
"A Plan!" Fishlegs shouted out wildly from below. "You need a Fiendishly Clever Plan!"
"Thank you, Fishlegs," said Hiccup, his mind flicking about like a shrimp in a net, and trying to ignore the terrible squeezing around his chest. "I'm aware of that... TOOTHLESS! Come up here!"
The tentacles were turning Hiccup over and over. Toothless flapped up, and hovered as close as he could. Hiccup shouted something into the little dragon's ear.
"That's a t-t-t-terrible plan," moaned Toothless, shaking his head.
"Just do as you're told. for ONCE in your life," yelled Hiccup.
While the Creature remained unconscious of having caught anything, Hiccup still stood a chance of escape. With his sword, he jabbed away at the sticky tentacle that was encircling his trunk and it seemed to be loosening....
196
Way down at the bottom of the treasure mound, Fishlegs was frantically trying to be helpful.
[Image: He lifted the sword high, high above his head.]
In front of him, there lay a heavily bejeweled monstrosity of a sword. Despite the fact that it was nearly as big as himself, Fishlegs managed to pick it up from the floor. Purple in the face with the extraordinary effort, he lifted it high, high above his head, ready to launch it at the Creature's stomach....
197
Unfortunately the backwards momentum of the sword was so great that Fishlegs toppled very slowly backwards with it. There was a bronze shield on the floor behind him, and he landed on it with such force that he knocked himself out.
The noise of Fishlegs's head connecting with the shield caught the Creature's attention and light finally dawned in its dull eyes, which swam into focus on Hiccup. Its tentacles gripped strongly and escape became impossible.
"More food?" it mused to itself.
"NOT food!" Hiccup shouted out. "I'm POISONOUS. Very,very POISONOUS!"
"Poissonoussssss?" hissed the Creature. "It ssspeakss and iss poissonousss, is it? I'M poissssson-ousssssss. Sssssssee?"
And it waved the deadly plunger of its tail menacingly in front of Hiccup.
"Don't like it when the food sssspeaks...," whined the Creature to itself. "Isss trickssssy when it ssspeaks... kill it quickly before it trickssss me...."
It wrapped its tentacles a little tighter around Hiccup in order to suffocate him.
198
"This is all very, interesting," Hiccup managed to choke out, his eyes popping. "So, how were you thinking of killing me, exactly?"
Gradually, the awful pressure on Hiccup's chest eased as the Strangulator considered this question.
"Well," it said slowly, "I wasssss thinking of ssssssqueezing you to death. ..."
"I onlyask," said Hiccup, gasping for air, "because I was recently nearly swallowed by a Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus, who said, that you Undergrounders were very primitive animals, poorly armed, and only capable of basic forms of killing, such as strangulation."
The Creature stopped squeezing entirely.
"That'ssss very rude," it hissed eventually, rather hurt.
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