How Not to Shop

How Not to Shop by Carmen Reid Page A

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Authors: Carmen Reid
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more. And by the way,' he said, offering Cath his arm, 'you look fantastic.'
     
For a moment, Annie was alone. But she didn't mind at all. She just lifted her glass slowly to her lips and drank in not just a mouthful of fizz but the amazing scene all around her. She wished Ed was here; she'd struggle to tell him just how over-the-top and wonderful this event was.
     
So far, she'd only caught a glimpse of Finn, who was charging about issuing instructions to Bob via his Blue-tooth, acutely anxious not to miss any shots.
     
'I want celebrities,' Finn had barked. 'If you see someone, anyone you recognize, stick your camera in their face. Our girls look wicked, so make sure you capture every single good angle. And if they're chatting to anyone, get in there!'
     
'Annah!'
     
Annie could hear the raised voice rushing towards her and knew she was about to be pressed to a generous, only slightly surgically enhanced, Ukrainian bosom.
     
'Here she is!' Svetlana boomed. 'This is Annah Valentine, I so vant you to meet her.'
     
Then Annie was face to face not just with Svetlana, but with a dapper, dinner-suited man she immediately understood to be Svetlana's husband in waiting.
     
A big smile broke across Svetlana's high-cheekboned face: 'Harry! This is Annah,' she repeated. 'Annah, Harry!'
     
Harry's beaming face, almost as shiny as his dressy black patent shoes, was split with a generous smile and as he smoothed down his remaining hair with one hand, he extended his other to Annie.
     
'Annie Valentine, hello, how absolutely scrumptious to meet you,' he gushed in the kind of terribly, terribly posh English which would, once upon a time, have made Annie feel nervous and unsure of herself. Now she took it in her stride. If anything, it made her ramp up her broad, Londoner vowels.
     
'Annah gave me your phone number, remember, back at the beginning when ve meet,' Svetlana offered generously, anointing Annie as the matchmaker who had brought about this happy union.
     
'No, well . . .' Annie pointed out quickly, 'another client of mine recommended you, Harry. I was just the go-between.'
     
'This is absolutely marvellous!' Harry's eyebrows shot up and his grin seemed to grow even wider. 'You mean I wouldn't have met my darling, darling girl without you? I do hope you're coming to the wedding. It's going to be a complete corker.'
     
'Of courrrse Annah come,' Svetlana purred, before Annie even had time to wonder whether or not she would be receiving an invitation, 'I need her there to make sure dress just so and bridesmaids vonderful. Of courrrse she come.'
     
In the warmth of Svetlana's beam, Annie felt a wave of gratitude. She may have inadvertently hooked Svetlana up with her next husband, but Svetlana was the one who had inadvertently landed her with the TV opportunity.
     
Would there have been a Wonder Women series without Svetlana? Annie doubted it very much.
     
When Finn's wife, Kelly-Anne, had come into the personal shopping suite she'd arrived as a friend of Svetlana's. And Svetlana was the one who'd taken dressmaking shears to Kelly-Anne's hair and started the real transformation, which must have impressed Finn so much that he'd contacted first Svetlana and then Annie and offered them the chance to be auditioned for the show.
     
'You both look so happy together,' Annie told Svetlana and Harry generously.
     
'Ya. I suit a short, bald man, no?' Svetlana teased and landed a kiss on Harry's forehead. Then she unwound herself from his embrace and informed him: 'I need to go and say hello to some people. You stay, talk to Annah. You talk to Marlise yet?' Svetlana asked Annie. With a degree of disdain, she had not yet referred to Miss Marlise as anything other than Marlise.
     
'No, I'm trying to keep out of her way,' Annie confided. She had spotted Miss M once and walked quickly in the opposite direction. She did admire the girl's outfit, though: black sequined trousers and a slinky tuxedo jacket. There wasn't anything about

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