hour.
He must have noticed my feet tapping to the music. Flashing a quick grin he said, “You dancing under the table?”
“Sorry.” For a brief second I considered bringing my feet under control but said to hell with it. He didn’t seem bothered. “Did I step on your toes?”
“You were always too good a dancer for that. Some things about you haven’t changed.”
“Meaning some things have?”
The waiter breezed through to refill our tea and leave the check. Ray thanked him by name and took the check before I could get to it. He said, “You’re calmer in some ways. Settled into yourself, I guess. Back then you didn’t know who you were, what you wanted. Seems like you know who you are now.”
“I just need to figure out the what do I want part.” I hadn’t meant to say that out loud but there it was.
He rattled the ice in his glass before taking a drink. That meant he was thinking things he’d rather keep to himself. It should have disturbed me that I still knew this man so well, after so many years away, but instead I found it comforting.
“You know some of what you want,” he said. “A home to call your own. A business that lets you be independent. You want to use your gifts to help people. That’s something new.”
I tried not to visibly cringe. “Yeah, I guess I was pretty selfish back then.”
“No, you weren’t selfish. You were young and didn’t know what to do with yourself. You weren’t exactly encouraged to see the good in your abilities. See the possibilities. No disrespect to Mrs. Kent but I think sometimes she didn’t know what to do with you.”
It took me a second to connect “Mrs. Kent” with Rozella. She’d never made me call her that. It was always “Miss Rozella” or “ma’am.” I said, “I don’t think she’d ever had a white apprentice before.”
“Had nothing to do with color. Not in the way you’re thinking, anyhow. She was always afraid if she taught you too much, your parents would go off the deep end and try to have her arrested. Then it finally happened but.” He stopped talking. I guessed he could see it in my face.
Heat flashed through me, made of rage and shame. My parents tried to have Rozella arrested? And I never knew? “What in the ever loving fuck ?”
He rubbed his face. “Shit. I thought you knew and just never wanted to talk about it.”
“I never knew. How do you know?”
“She lived out in the county. I was the deputy sent to talk to her. I figured you never wanted to talk about it because there was so much else you never wanted to talk about.”
Rozella died when I was eighteen, right before I graduated high school. I started dating Ray not quite a year after graduation. “When did this happen? I was a legal adult, there was nothing they could have had her charged with.”
“You were sixteen. You were underage. They wanted her arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.”
“Fucking bullshit!”
Ray grabbed my hands, shushing me. I nearly came across the table at him. “Roxie! Just calm down, we’re in public.”
The empty plates we’d pushed to the side rattled with movement. Ray kept one hand on both on mine, messing with the plates with the other, darting his eyes around the room. At that moment I didn’t care who saw the display of power. It was nothing compared to what I could do, what I wanted to do.
Ray gave me a pleading look. I slowed my breathing, suppressing the wild magic that leaked out of my pores, full of anger. He pushed a tea glass at me. Drinking helped ground the magic and gave me time to calm myself. “Tell me about it. Please.”
“They found out where you were spending so much time. I don’t know it all but first they thought you were dating a black kid.”
“First of all, let’s clear up one thing. You say they but what you really mean is Nadine. And I just bet she went round the bend at the thought of me dating a black guy.”
“Yeah, I think so. I don’t know. I
He must have noticed my feet tapping to the music. Flashing a quick grin he said, “You dancing under the table?”
“Sorry.” For a brief second I considered bringing my feet under control but said to hell with it. He didn’t seem bothered. “Did I step on your toes?”
“You were always too good a dancer for that. Some things about you haven’t changed.”
“Meaning some things have?”
The waiter breezed through to refill our tea and leave the check. Ray thanked him by name and took the check before I could get to it. He said, “You’re calmer in some ways. Settled into yourself, I guess. Back then you didn’t know who you were, what you wanted. Seems like you know who you are now.”
“I just need to figure out the what do I want part.” I hadn’t meant to say that out loud but there it was.
He rattled the ice in his glass before taking a drink. That meant he was thinking things he’d rather keep to himself. It should have disturbed me that I still knew this man so well, after so many years away, but instead I found it comforting.
“You know some of what you want,” he said. “A home to call your own. A business that lets you be independent. You want to use your gifts to help people. That’s something new.”
I tried not to visibly cringe. “Yeah, I guess I was pretty selfish back then.”
“No, you weren’t selfish. You were young and didn’t know what to do with yourself. You weren’t exactly encouraged to see the good in your abilities. See the possibilities. No disrespect to Mrs. Kent but I think sometimes she didn’t know what to do with you.”
It took me a second to connect “Mrs. Kent” with Rozella. She’d never made me call her that. It was always “Miss Rozella” or “ma’am.” I said, “I don’t think she’d ever had a white apprentice before.”
“Had nothing to do with color. Not in the way you’re thinking, anyhow. She was always afraid if she taught you too much, your parents would go off the deep end and try to have her arrested. Then it finally happened but.” He stopped talking. I guessed he could see it in my face.
Heat flashed through me, made of rage and shame. My parents tried to have Rozella arrested? And I never knew? “What in the ever loving fuck ?”
He rubbed his face. “Shit. I thought you knew and just never wanted to talk about it.”
“I never knew. How do you know?”
“She lived out in the county. I was the deputy sent to talk to her. I figured you never wanted to talk about it because there was so much else you never wanted to talk about.”
Rozella died when I was eighteen, right before I graduated high school. I started dating Ray not quite a year after graduation. “When did this happen? I was a legal adult, there was nothing they could have had her charged with.”
“You were sixteen. You were underage. They wanted her arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.”
“Fucking bullshit!”
Ray grabbed my hands, shushing me. I nearly came across the table at him. “Roxie! Just calm down, we’re in public.”
The empty plates we’d pushed to the side rattled with movement. Ray kept one hand on both on mine, messing with the plates with the other, darting his eyes around the room. At that moment I didn’t care who saw the display of power. It was nothing compared to what I could do, what I wanted to do.
Ray gave me a pleading look. I slowed my breathing, suppressing the wild magic that leaked out of my pores, full of anger. He pushed a tea glass at me. Drinking helped ground the magic and gave me time to calm myself. “Tell me about it. Please.”
“They found out where you were spending so much time. I don’t know it all but first they thought you were dating a black kid.”
“First of all, let’s clear up one thing. You say they but what you really mean is Nadine. And I just bet she went round the bend at the thought of me dating a black guy.”
“Yeah, I think so. I don’t know. I
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