Honor by Lyn Cote Page A

drivewagons. But the reason came to her. City bred, Samuel had not needed to learn to drive a team. She almost suggested she could teach him, but then she thought of the voice commands used in driving a team. She would be unable to communicate the various commands to Samuel, and he likely could not speak them in any case. And would he want her, a woman, to teach him? Another touchy subject.
    “Well,” he prompted, “can you drive?”
    “Yes, I can drive.” Until I have time to consider this.
    Royale knocked at the door and entered. She had been given a bed in a servant’s room downstairs in the rear.
    Samuel lifted Eli from Royale’s arms and carried him out, not saying where he was going.
    Honor wondered if he sensed her displeasure and was glad to escape even for a few minutes. Yet he would have to face her in the one bed in this small room. She motioned Royale to come nearer. Royale shut the door behind her and helped Honor undress. “So you sure we’re not gon’ live in Cincinnati?”
    “Not right in the city, but somewhere close by, I’m sure.” She added the last bit to bolster herself as much as Royale.
    With slow, firm strokes, Royale brushed Honor’s hair, no doubt trying to help her relax for sleep. “The innkeeper has a black maid working here.” Royale’s soft voice followed the brush soothingly. “I think the maid be able to help me meet some of my own people before we leave. Find an African church.”
    Honor gazed at Royale’s reflection in the small wall mirror. Again their blood connection tugged at her. Thereality that they were blood relations continued to seem unreal—yet God, who loved them both equally, had clearly marked Royale as her kin. Still, the world would ignore it and devalue Royale, who was so similar to Honor in intelligence and in what the world prized as beauty. Because Royale was born of a slave mother, she must sleep belowstairs. Grandfather’s sins and lies—so scarring to both of them—stabbed Honor, cutting deeper.
    Honor picked up the thread of their conversation. “I also wish to go to meeting here before we leave the city, meet some other Friends. I doubt the small village we’re going to will have a place of worship for either of us.”
    Soon Royale set down the silver hairbrush and bid Honor good night. Honor forced herself to sit in the chair by the window in her nightdress and not hide under the covers. A married woman now, she must accustom herself to being in a state of some undress with Samuel. Besides, she didn’t feel she could challenge him while lying down. And no matter her fatigue, she must.
    Samuel entered with Eli. After one furtive glance toward Honor, he began helping Eli change his clothes. The glance told her he expected some grievance from her. She joined in assisting him with the child.
    “I saw a horse,” Eli volunteered. “I like horses and wagons.”
    Honor smiled. “Yes, the man with the wagon had a good horse.”
    Soon she slipped Eli into the bed where she and her husband would sleep together for the first time. AfterMiriam’s death, Samuel had escaped downstairs to his mother’s bedroom.
    With Eli between them, she doubted Samuel would claim his marriage rights. Honor now understood the word limbo . Somehow she must connect with this man she’d married, deal with his barbed moods. Bracing herself, she began, “Why did thee behave so rudely to me on the boat?”
    He stared at her. No reply.
    Her exhaustion pushed her to their raw bone of contention. “Did thee think I was encouraging the men? They were only showing me common courtesy. Nothing more.”

    Samuel wanted to snap back at her, but he couldn’t. For one thing, he had behaved less than politely to her. He was unsure about the common courtesy comment. “I apologize,” he signed. But you don’t know how it feels to be ignored, belittled by their looks, deemed deficient. “I’m tired.” He motioned toward the bed.
    “I am also, but I will not be mistrusted,