Home Fires by Gene Wolfe Page A

in the cab coming back,” Skip said. “So did I.”
    “That’s right, so you got a little sleep. Enough?”
    He shook his head.
    “I hardly got any. Mother slept, and Achille slept before either of you, and woke up last. Only I didn’t mean that when I said last night. I meant the night when we screwed and slept together in our cabin.”
    “The screwing was Jerry. Not me.”
    “Yeah, right. I’m sorry. I forgot.”
    “Was he good?”
    “Not very. But before that, at the party. Do you remember me telling you that Mother had peeked in?”
    Skip nodded.
    “That wasn’t really it. Not quite. She came in and handed me a gram. I asked what it said, and she said she hadn’t read it. That was a lie but it was what she said, and she beat it before I could read it myself. It was from Camp Martinez and said I was being discharged. I told you I was taking psych tests.”
    He nodded again.
    “Well, I flunked them. I’m mentally and emotionally impaired. So discharge, and disability pay for the rest of my life.”
    When Skip did not speak, Chelle added, “It’s pretty good, too.”
    He put his arm around her. “I can imagine how you must feel.”
    “It isn’t that. I can handle my feelings. Now I can. I just wanted to tell you that was why I took Jerry to our cabin. I’d been planning to leave early and lock you out. That’s the truth.”
    “I believe you.”
    “But I got hammered instead. I grabbed the guy I had been talking to because he had a hand on my—up here. You know.”
    “I grasp the concept.”
    “You do now. Yes. It’s yours. Only then…”
    “It wasn’t,” Skip said.
    “Whatever. I wanted to explain, and I wanted to let you know I’m not right. Did you guess?”
    “My guesses don’t matter.” He took a deep breath. “I love you, Chelle. That’s what matters, and if you love me, that’s all that matters.”
    “I do. I really do. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s the truth. That’s the first thing I wanted to talk about.”
    He kissed her; and it lasted for a long, long time and ended too soon.
    “Now we’re going to fight again,” she said when they parted.
    “You may fight me, but I won’t fight you.”
    “Okay. Deal. Have you made it with Mother?”
    It took him by surprise. “Certainly not. Why do you ask?”
    “Because she wants you to. I can tell, Skip, and I think you can tell, too. What’s the number of her cabin?”
    He tried to recall it. “I don’t remember. J Deck, but not the rest of it.”
    “She told you, though?”
    “Yes. Yes, she did.”
    “All you’d have to do is crook your finger.”
    “At first, yes. After that, I’d have to keep her entertained. Charlie Blue couldn’t, and I doubt that I’d last as long as he did.”
    “Would you try?”
    Skip considered, counseled by the gentle roll of the fishing boat. “If she were all I had? Yes, I suppose I would, in a feeble, middle-aged way. I wouldn’t succeed, and I know it. But I’d try to postpone failure.”
    “She’s my mother. What if I take after her?”
    “I answered that already.”
    “Fair enough. Did you notice the corpse in the water? No, I can see you didn’t. It was close to the wharf. You had to look almost straight down.”
    “Perhaps we should have reported it,” Skip said.
    “I thought of that, but we didn’t have much time and we couldn’t have helped him. He was floating facedown, and part of his head was gone.”
    “Don’t cry. Please.” He embraced her.
    “It’s just … Thanks for the hug.”
    “Anytime.” Skip held her a little more tightly.
    “I couldn’t think of his name, but nobody could forget that shirt. He came to stand with us when we were waiting to get off the ship. He was at the party.”
    “Albano Alamar.”
    “Yeah. Him.” Chelle wept.
    Not knowing what else to say, Skip said, “I imagine that could be a rough town at night.”
    It did not seem to help. When Vanessa joined them a few minutes later, that did not help