Home Alone by Todd Strasser, John Hughes Page B

now."
    "Hi," Harry said to Sondra, "are your parents home?"
    " Oui ," said Sondra.
    "Do they live here?" Harry asked.
    "No," said Sondra.
    "If you'll wait here a minute I'll try to find someone," Heather told Harry. Then she, Tracy and Sondra left.
    Harry looked around at the expensive-looking furniture in the living room. He could almost bet the cabinet in the dining room was filled with sterling silver and valuable china. Harry grinned. This was going to be a great house to rob.

December 21

    Oak Park

    6:30 PM
    Kevin stood in front of the upstairs hallway closet and stared up at the suitcase on the top shelf. He was supposed to pack for this dumb trip to France, but there was no way he could reach his suitcase.
    Just then his sister Megan came by. Megan had curly brown hair and spent a lot of time in the bathroom. She was a teenager, and considerably taller than he.
    "Hey, Megan," Kevin said. "Help me get my suitcase?"
    "Get it yourself," said Megan. "I have to use the bathroom."
    "But I can't reach it," Kevin said.
    "Tough." Megan walked away.
    Kevin sighed. It wasn't easy being the youngest kid in the family. He'd heard all this stuff about how great it was to be the "baby" and how everyone spoiled you. But forget it. To him being the youngest just meant being the first to get dumped on.
    Kevin went into the room he shared with his brother Jeff, who was nine, and wasn't a teenager but looked and acted like he was. Jeff even lifted weights, At that moment he was lifting a big green duffle bag.
    "There, I'm packed," Jeff said proudly. "Have you packed?"
    "I can't reach my suitcase," Kevin said. "And even if I could, I don't know how to pack. I've never done it in my whole life."
    "You've never done anything in your life," Jeff sneered. "Except play piano . . . badly."
    "I'm only seven," Kevin said.
    "Tough," said Jeff.
    "That's what Megan said," Kevin sighed.
    "What did I say?" asked Megan as she passed on her way back from the bathroom.
    "You told Kevin 'tough,' " said Jeff.
    "The dope was whining about a suitcase," Megan said. "What am I supposed to do? Shake his hand and say, 'Congratulations, You're an idiot?' "
    "I'm not an idiot!" Kevin shouted.
    "Oh, really," Megan said with a laugh. "You're completely helpless. Everybody has to do everything for you."
    Kevin glared at Megan, who went back to her room, Now his sister Linnie stuck her head into the bedroom. Linnie had long straight blonde hair and was beautiful. She was twelve and almost a teenager. That's the way life was for Kevin. Everyone in his family was a teenager, or almost a teenager, or acted like a teenager. Everyone except him.
    "I hope you didn't just pack junk, Jeff," Linnie said.
    "Shut up," replied Jeff.
    "Do you know what I should pack?" Kevin asked her.
    "Didn't Buzz tell you, cheekface?" Jeff said as he lugged his duffle bag out of the room. "Toilet paper and water."
    As soon as Jeff left the room, Kevin stuck his tongue out at him.
    "Don't worry." Linnie patted Kevin on the head. "You know Mom's going to pack your stuff. You're what the French call les incompetent ."
    "Thanks," Kevin sniffed.
    "You know you have to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller tonight," Linnie said.
    "Why?" Kevin asked. Fuller was Kevin's five-year-old cousin. He wasn't a teenager, but he was Uncle Frank's kid so he didn't count.
    "Heather, Tracy and Sondra have to sleep in your room," Linnie said. "Don't forget. If Fuller has a Pepsi he wets his bed."
    Kevin clenched his fist. This was the final humiliation! Not 0nly did they treat him worse than Ralphy the dog, but they were taking his room away and making him sleep with a bed wetter!
    "This house is so full of people, it makes me sick," Kevin shouted. "When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone!"
    Linnie started to laugh. Kevin wondered why.
    Harry Lyme was still standing in the foyer in his phony police uniform. Twenty-five minutes had passed. By now he'd surveyed everything and figured the take on this place