Holding On To You

Holding On To You by Anne-Marie Hart Page B

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Authors: Anne-Marie Hart
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whether she's been calling for help or not. She looks like she's been crying, that's for sure, but whether she's been screaming, he can't be certain. He checks the handcuffs, which have definitely not been tampered with, and then goes to the window to check the parking lot. It's as empty as it was when he drove in to it a few moments ago, save that mangy mutt, pissing on everything and skipping about like strays have a tendency to do. River returns to the edge of the bed.
    'After we get fixed up, we'll go and eat. I got you some clothes and the brand new look I promised, how about that?' he says, holding up the wig.
    'I like the way I already look', Maddy says defensively. 'There's nothing wrong with it.'
    'No, I guess there aint if you're happy to look like you're going to a funeral', River says, trying to be funny.
    'At least I don't look like a cartoon cowboy', Maddy says.
    'Well look at you biting back, that's more like it', Terry says, mock offended. 'Whether you like your black dresses and Lego man haircut or not, it doesn't matter. You've got to change if you want to eat, and you do want to eat don't you?'
    'Yes', Maddy says.
    'Good', River agrees. 'Because I am fucking starving. And you already know I don't like to eat alone.'
    River undoes the handcuffs, and releases Maddy from the radiator. She stands up, cautiously, and rubs her wrists where the metal has been biting in. River puts his hands on her shoulders in a familiar way.
    'I reckon you ought to wash up, and then you can come out here and choose how you want to dress, how does that sound?' River says, taking in the bathroom and the clothes on the bed in a sweeping gesture with his arm, as though he's working at a high class hotel, and is busy displaying the penthouse suite to a top model or musician.
    'Ok', Maddy says, weakened by hunger, and too tired and upset, to be another other than compliant.
    'Towels, soap, and everything else you could possibly dream of are already in there for you Princess, no expenses spared', River says, his hands on Maddy's shoulders guiding her towards the badly lit, box room.
    Maddy enters the tiny, dirty bathroom, while River waits on the threshold, smiling at her. She almost doesn't notice the rancid stains all over the walls, the dead cockroaches, and the cracked porcelain suite, astonished to be offered the opportunity to be alone, and unhandcuffed, even if only for a few minutes.
    'I'll be waiting out here for you', River says and pulls the door shut.
    Once on the inside, Maddy quickly locks the door.
    'Oh and don't take forever will you?' he calls through the shut door. 'I'm as hungry as a stray dog in a motel parking lot.'
    There is no window, which makes escape, even if Maddy had the confidence to do so, a complete impossibility. She didn't scream, and she doesn't really know why not. She managed to get the gag down pretty easily, and could have yelled at the top of her voice until someone heard her, and either broke down the door to get in, or opened it up with a spare from reception, but she didn't do it. She just couldn't.
    Maddy checks the lock again, and looks at herself in the mirror. Does she look like she's going to a funeral? What does he mean by a Lego man haircut? Maddy has cut her hair like this for years, because it's easy to manage, and the hairdresser tells her it suits her face. Her eyes are bloodshot in the corners, and her skin looks sallow and grey under her eyes. All she can see is a skeleton looking back, and not the tired face of a beautiful girl, who has driven herself into a life of structured misery.
    'Yours would too if you had to go through what I've gone through', Maddy screams at her mirror self, before unleashing several wild thumps into the softened plaster of the wall, achieving little else, but bruising to the delicate edges of her hands. Eventually she gives up, and collapses on the floor in a huddle, crying to herself.
    'Are you alright in there Maddy?' River says, from the room next

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