father and my
uncle Buck filled the rest of the front seat. I was crammed in the
back with the spare tire. Not a real seat, just a blanket thrown
over the wheel well in the six inches of space.
I didn’t complain, because this was special.
I could feel it. Usually my birthday consisted of my mom laboring
over a cake, and my cousin Kayla coming over. My presents were
usually clothes, stuff I needed. My mom tried hard to make it
festive, but Dad and Uncle Red were never around. It was like Dad
always forgot, or just didn’t care. This year, my thirteenth
birthday, Dad woke me up real early. “We’re going on a trip,” he
told me.
“A trip? Like a hunting trip?” Lots of kids
at school went on hunting trips with their fathers. Maybe now that
I was thirteen Dad would take me on one. Maybe Dad was always gone
because he was off hunting.
“Yeah, something like that,” he said. “Get
dressed. We’re leaving in ten minutes.”
So I pulled on my jeans and a flannel shirt,
my boots. I was a bit surprised to find my uncles in the truck
already, but it made sense. It was a hunting trip. All the men were
going.
We drove until there were no more houses and
trees crowded against the windows. Then Uncle Red parked and we
started hiking. None of them had guns or anything. Uncle Buck had a
flask that he passed to my dad and Uncle Red.
The hiking was hard. “Get a move on,” my dad
snapped at me when I’d fall behind.
If I tried to get ahead, one of them would
grab me by the collar of my shirt and yank me back. “Age before
beauty,” Uncle Buck said once, and my dad and Uncle Red roared with
laughter.
The way the three of them were carrying on,
it was almost like I didn’t exist. I kept my head down and tried
not to feel sorry for myself. It was my birthday and Dad was barely
paying attention to me except when he’d put a foot on my ass and
kick me forward. “We’re not there yet. No rest stops.”
I wasn’t entirely sure how they knew where we
were going. I vacillated between thinking they must have been here
a million times and thinking they were drunk and we were never
going to find our way home. There was no path that I could see.
They ducked through the brush and trees, splashed through tiny
streams and climbed up rocks. I checked my watch. It was well past
lunchtime. My stomach growled. We’d eaten breakfast on the drive
out, but that was five hours ago.
Finally, sometime around three, I asked if we
were going to stop to eat.
“It’s best if you’re hungry,” my dad said,
not even looking at me.
I wanted to ask if wasn’t he hungry, and why
didn’t they bring any food if they knew we were going to be hiking
so long. But I still wanted to trust my dad. He knows what he’s
doing, I kept telling myself. I just wished I knew what he was
doing.
The October sky had begun to darken by the
time we stopped. I could barely walk anymore, although I could tell
my father and uncles weren’t as tired as I was. Once I had caught
my breath and sat up from where I had collapsed on the ground, I
saw that we were in a clearing. The forest loomed up around us,
filtering the orange sun into long shadows.
My father and uncles were just staring at me.
I tried not to be self-conscious about this as I turned my head
this way and that to try to figure out where we had ended up. There
was no cabin, no hunting blind. Nothing. It was just a patch of
dirt in the middle of the woods.
“Now we wait,” said my father to my uncles.
They all hunkered down and started talking quietly, passing the
flask back and forth without offering me a sip. I was mighty
thirsty.
I didn’t have the energy to ask what they
were waiting for. I flopped onto my back and stared up at the jewel
tones of the sky. After a short time I must have fallen asleep.
When I woke up I was disoriented. The dark
was so dark. I looked around wildly for my dad but I couldn’t find
him. My watch had a glowing face and I looked at the time. Almost
midnight. Once
uncle Buck filled the rest of the front seat. I was crammed in the
back with the spare tire. Not a real seat, just a blanket thrown
over the wheel well in the six inches of space.
I didn’t complain, because this was special.
I could feel it. Usually my birthday consisted of my mom laboring
over a cake, and my cousin Kayla coming over. My presents were
usually clothes, stuff I needed. My mom tried hard to make it
festive, but Dad and Uncle Red were never around. It was like Dad
always forgot, or just didn’t care. This year, my thirteenth
birthday, Dad woke me up real early. “We’re going on a trip,” he
told me.
“A trip? Like a hunting trip?” Lots of kids
at school went on hunting trips with their fathers. Maybe now that
I was thirteen Dad would take me on one. Maybe Dad was always gone
because he was off hunting.
“Yeah, something like that,” he said. “Get
dressed. We’re leaving in ten minutes.”
So I pulled on my jeans and a flannel shirt,
my boots. I was a bit surprised to find my uncles in the truck
already, but it made sense. It was a hunting trip. All the men were
going.
We drove until there were no more houses and
trees crowded against the windows. Then Uncle Red parked and we
started hiking. None of them had guns or anything. Uncle Buck had a
flask that he passed to my dad and Uncle Red.
The hiking was hard. “Get a move on,” my dad
snapped at me when I’d fall behind.
If I tried to get ahead, one of them would
grab me by the collar of my shirt and yank me back. “Age before
beauty,” Uncle Buck said once, and my dad and Uncle Red roared with
laughter.
The way the three of them were carrying on,
it was almost like I didn’t exist. I kept my head down and tried
not to feel sorry for myself. It was my birthday and Dad was barely
paying attention to me except when he’d put a foot on my ass and
kick me forward. “We’re not there yet. No rest stops.”
I wasn’t entirely sure how they knew where we
were going. I vacillated between thinking they must have been here
a million times and thinking they were drunk and we were never
going to find our way home. There was no path that I could see.
They ducked through the brush and trees, splashed through tiny
streams and climbed up rocks. I checked my watch. It was well past
lunchtime. My stomach growled. We’d eaten breakfast on the drive
out, but that was five hours ago.
Finally, sometime around three, I asked if we
were going to stop to eat.
“It’s best if you’re hungry,” my dad said,
not even looking at me.
I wanted to ask if wasn’t he hungry, and why
didn’t they bring any food if they knew we were going to be hiking
so long. But I still wanted to trust my dad. He knows what he’s
doing, I kept telling myself. I just wished I knew what he was
doing.
The October sky had begun to darken by the
time we stopped. I could barely walk anymore, although I could tell
my father and uncles weren’t as tired as I was. Once I had caught
my breath and sat up from where I had collapsed on the ground, I
saw that we were in a clearing. The forest loomed up around us,
filtering the orange sun into long shadows.
My father and uncles were just staring at me.
I tried not to be self-conscious about this as I turned my head
this way and that to try to figure out where we had ended up. There
was no cabin, no hunting blind. Nothing. It was just a patch of
dirt in the middle of the woods.
“Now we wait,” said my father to my uncles.
They all hunkered down and started talking quietly, passing the
flask back and forth without offering me a sip. I was mighty
thirsty.
I didn’t have the energy to ask what they
were waiting for. I flopped onto my back and stared up at the jewel
tones of the sky. After a short time I must have fallen asleep.
When I woke up I was disoriented. The dark
was so dark. I looked around wildly for my dad but I couldn’t find
him. My watch had a glowing face and I looked at the time. Almost
midnight. Once
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