away on his phone. Okay, clearly not the best time to be out here. Why I felt the need to go hide from him pissed me off, but I wasn’t going to push my luck here. I was giving him way more power over my space, my emotions, and me than I knew I should, but I was powerless to stop it.
Heading back to my room, I figured I’d take the rest of the day to be lazy and read another book. But before I made it to the hallway, he halted me.
“You’re not even going to say anything?”
I twisted around to face him. I’m sure my face appeared flabbergasted. “Say something? What do you want me to say?”
He clicked the button on the side of his phone and put it down beside him. Fuck me; his eyes always made my heart skip a beat when he directed them at me like that. “Well, an apology would be good.”
I laugh bubbled up. “You’re kidding, right?”
He kept his mouth shut, and his stare didn’t waver.
“I have nothing to apologize for.”
Dawson scowled. “How about the fact that you jumped down my throat the moment I walked in the door this morning?”
“Ha! That’s a joke.”
“Do you see me laughing?”
“No, but still. You were gone all damn night. Then you come back and act like nothing happened.”
“That’s because nothing did happen.”
“Oh, so you’re saying that you didn’t sleep with someone? That you didn’t stay out and come waltzing in here and expect me to keep my mouth shut?”
I was hitting a nerve with him. His blow up was simmering underneath the surface of those brown depths. As I watched him, I wasn’t sure I was making the wisest decision by riling him up like this. I’d seen Dawson cranky, and a little more than moody, but I had yet to see him pissed to the point of rage. My words were quickly tipping the scale in that direction.
“Yeah, I fucking expect you to keep your mouth shut. You have no say, Chandler. None. I’m single. Whatever you think we shared was exactly that, a moment. I go out and do whatever the fuck I want. If I want to go sleep with half the girls in town, I fucking will, and you have no say.”
I jerked back like he’d slapped me. It stung like he had. “Ouch.” Tears sprung to my eyes. “Why are you being like this?”
He shrugged indifferently. “Just being honest.”
“What in the hell happened to you to make you so goddamn mean? I have feelings, you know. I’m not saying we were together, but you don’t get to stand there and act like none of what happened didn’t matter.”
“I’m not saying it didn’t matter. I’m saying that who I sleep with is none of your business.”
I honestly thought I was going to throw up. The anxiety that was rushing through my veins was making my body shake. Every single word that was spewing from his mouth was like a vile of poison poured down my throat. He was purposefully lashing out at me, and I didn’t understand why.
“All right. Well, sorry for coming at you like I did.” I felt like he’d backed me into a corner. An apology was all I had to offer at this point, just to end the argument. I was desperate to make this feeling end.
“Don’t do it again,” he threatened.
“Okay.”
“I mean it.”
“I fucking said okay.” I was completely exasperated.
He regarded me as though he was waiting for me to continue to berate him for his actions. But I was done. I’d never fought with him like that before, and I didn’t care to do it again. How he controlled my emotions and the words that I spoke was insane. I’d never felt so powerless against another person before, and I felt weak. How on Earth did he gain authority over me like that? I’d not given him permission to do so. Except the longer I stood there under his gaze, I realized that I actually had. My backing down so quickly let him know he had the upper hand. It taught him that he was the authoritative one between the two of us. I’d never once given someone that much power over me. Who in the hell was this man, and what had he
Heading back to my room, I figured I’d take the rest of the day to be lazy and read another book. But before I made it to the hallway, he halted me.
“You’re not even going to say anything?”
I twisted around to face him. I’m sure my face appeared flabbergasted. “Say something? What do you want me to say?”
He clicked the button on the side of his phone and put it down beside him. Fuck me; his eyes always made my heart skip a beat when he directed them at me like that. “Well, an apology would be good.”
I laugh bubbled up. “You’re kidding, right?”
He kept his mouth shut, and his stare didn’t waver.
“I have nothing to apologize for.”
Dawson scowled. “How about the fact that you jumped down my throat the moment I walked in the door this morning?”
“Ha! That’s a joke.”
“Do you see me laughing?”
“No, but still. You were gone all damn night. Then you come back and act like nothing happened.”
“That’s because nothing did happen.”
“Oh, so you’re saying that you didn’t sleep with someone? That you didn’t stay out and come waltzing in here and expect me to keep my mouth shut?”
I was hitting a nerve with him. His blow up was simmering underneath the surface of those brown depths. As I watched him, I wasn’t sure I was making the wisest decision by riling him up like this. I’d seen Dawson cranky, and a little more than moody, but I had yet to see him pissed to the point of rage. My words were quickly tipping the scale in that direction.
“Yeah, I fucking expect you to keep your mouth shut. You have no say, Chandler. None. I’m single. Whatever you think we shared was exactly that, a moment. I go out and do whatever the fuck I want. If I want to go sleep with half the girls in town, I fucking will, and you have no say.”
I jerked back like he’d slapped me. It stung like he had. “Ouch.” Tears sprung to my eyes. “Why are you being like this?”
He shrugged indifferently. “Just being honest.”
“What in the hell happened to you to make you so goddamn mean? I have feelings, you know. I’m not saying we were together, but you don’t get to stand there and act like none of what happened didn’t matter.”
“I’m not saying it didn’t matter. I’m saying that who I sleep with is none of your business.”
I honestly thought I was going to throw up. The anxiety that was rushing through my veins was making my body shake. Every single word that was spewing from his mouth was like a vile of poison poured down my throat. He was purposefully lashing out at me, and I didn’t understand why.
“All right. Well, sorry for coming at you like I did.” I felt like he’d backed me into a corner. An apology was all I had to offer at this point, just to end the argument. I was desperate to make this feeling end.
“Don’t do it again,” he threatened.
“Okay.”
“I mean it.”
“I fucking said okay.” I was completely exasperated.
He regarded me as though he was waiting for me to continue to berate him for his actions. But I was done. I’d never fought with him like that before, and I didn’t care to do it again. How he controlled my emotions and the words that I spoke was insane. I’d never felt so powerless against another person before, and I felt weak. How on Earth did he gain authority over me like that? I’d not given him permission to do so. Except the longer I stood there under his gaze, I realized that I actually had. My backing down so quickly let him know he had the upper hand. It taught him that he was the authoritative one between the two of us. I’d never once given someone that much power over me. Who in the hell was this man, and what had he
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