thing. “I’m glad you like it. Maybe it will keep you from trying to kill yourself up there.” I rolled my eyes. “Maybe,” I answered. The magic of his touch dissipated until he squeezed my hand tighter. “Because I would hate it if you weren’t around anymore. I’d miss you more than anyone else here.” My heart might have skipped a beat or two. Crap. Was that something a friend might say? Why did my world have to get even more complicated? I should just go back to being a wallflower. I was good at that.
3
12
The Unraveling of Jim I had been so busy teaching and spending most of my free time in the planetarium that I wondered what Jim was so worked up about when he mysteriously asked me to meet him at his apartment for dinner. He had me follow him into a dark corner on the community floor and the words fell out of his mouth so fast, I wasn’t sure if he was afraid someone would overhear him or catch us talking. That was weird. We always talked and he was always so relaxed while calming me down when I worked myself up over being locked away in our underground bunker apartment building with so many unhappy people while storms wanted to annihilate us overhead. Perhaps he was trying to feign a crisis to set me up into having a quiet dinner with Brandon or Micah. Engrossing myself in teaching and stargazing kept me from having to make any decisions on the males that seemed interested in me. Fending off the hormonally charged teen, Aaron was a new problem. It was not so hard for me to be blunt when dealing with him. Unfortunately he wouldn’t take a hint or a blatant, “go away, I don’t like you that way,” as a clue to move on. I held my breath when I knocked on the door anticipating someone I didn’t want to see was hanging out with Jim on the other side. Fortunately, when the door opened, it was just Jim and the scent of spaghetti filled my nostrils. I inhaled as deeply as I could and my mouth watered. The cafeteria had not won me over with their version at all. I was distracted by Jim’s skill in the kitchen when I walked in the room. I didn’t notice his haggard appearance at first. I was far too interested in what Jim was placing on my plate. When I finally looked at him to praise his cooking with my eyes while my mouth was full, I noticed his eyes were bloodshot and puffy. He struggled to maintain his composure. “What’s wrong?” I set my fork down. Jim was never one to be unsettled. He looked as if he spent too much time watching the storms roll in on the monitors in the control room while we were assaulted above ground. “You need to eat all you want before I tell you anything. So how’s teaching?” I was practically inhaling the food on my plate. Slowing the pace of my silverware, I had a feeling I should savor what I had left because he was about to share something with me that would have me reconsider my relationship with amazingly tasty food. “Meh. I don’t mind the kids. The teens want to challenge my knowledge all the time. I’ve turned it around so they are sharing what they know with the class instead. I’m having trouble with the Cooper boy. Everyone is eating up his antics in the classroom so it encourages him even though I’ve told him I’m totally not interested.” “You’ve seemed to go into hiding again.” Instead of eating, Jim moved the spaghetti around his plate. “I’ve been studying the stars.” I evaded eye contact. “And I’ve decided to become a nun.” Jim actually laughed. “No you haven’t.” “Can’t I pretend?” I pleaded, turning my head to the side and giving him my best puppy eyes. “Think of it this way, if one of those young men don’t suit you, at least you have a backup. Remember when it was looking pretty bleak when it was only Brandon and he didn’t seem interested in you at all when you were pursuing him.” “I like wishful thinking over real life heartbreak though. And I wasn’t pursuing him. I was just