to work sooner than I thought.”
“Oh?”
“I called my mama,” she said, “and told her about this god-awful rash. I don’t know if I even mentioned it to you, but she’s a healer and a midwife.”
Mona had told me very little about her past. I knew she’d been born and raised in the Tennessee mountains and that her father had hit the road when he’d learned Mona’s mother was pregnant with her.
“I’ve never met a healer or a midwife,” I said. “That sounds so exciting.”
Mona didn’t look enthusiastic. “She had to tie up a few loose ends, but she promised to hit the road as soon as she could. I just hope that old VW van makes it,” she added. “Lord knows I’ve offered to buy her something new, but she won’t hear of it.”
Once we finished dinner, I wrapped the leftovers, rinsed our dishes, and loaded them into the dishwasher.
“Hey, I know what will cheer you up,” I said.
“Get totally drunk and puke in my hair?”
“How come I never come up with these cool ideas?” I said, giving my forehead a bop with my palm. “I was just thinking we could watch Popeye cartoons.”
Mona gave a wistful smile. “Mr. Moneybags loved those cartoons. We used to watch them for hours. I miss him.”
“I know.”
Mona and I headed for the media room, where an enormous flat screen was attached to the wall. The other walls were devoted to shelves where hundreds of DVDs had been categorized and alphabetized. Comfy overstuffed chairs and sofas dominated the room.
I went straight to the animated section and pulled out one of the Popeye collections. I popped the DVD into the player, and Mona and I settled on the sofa with Mike at my feet. We spent the next couple of hours watching Popeye and Brutus fight over Olive Oyl. Mona and I had long agreed that Olive Oyl was one of the most unattractive women we’d ever seen and wondered why Popeye wasted all those cans of spinach so he could pound Brutus into the ground and win Olive’s affection.
Sometime later, I awoke and realized Mona and I had both fallen asleep. It was after midnight, but Mona was sleeping so soundly that I hated to wake her. Instead, I covered her with a plush throw and took Mike out to do her business. I was not surprised to find Jimbo shining his flashlight at the hedges.
“Who goes there?” he called out.
I gave a massive eye roll. “It’s me, Jimbo!” I said.
He stepped out of the shadows. He was dressed like a ninja. “Did you forget the password?” he asked.
“I’m not going to use a password,” I said, wondering why I didn’t make things easier on myself and play along. But I’d had my fill of weird people for one day. “You know damn well who I am, and I don’t have time to deal with stupid passwords.”
He looked put out.
“Furthermore, Mona’s mother will be arriving soon. She shouldn’t have to use a password either.”
“Are you saying I’m going overboard on this security thing?”
“You think?” I said.
I left him standing there and reentered the house through the back door, pausing at the counter to grab a dog biscuit from a box where I kept Mike’s treats. I offered it to her, and she gobbled it. I looked about the room, wondering if there was anything I should do to get ready for the arrival of Mona’s mother. The pantry and refrigerator were filled with food, since Jimbo had purchased massive amounts on his last grocery run, and I knew the twice-weekly cleaning crew saw that the upstairs guest rooms and baths were maintained.
I was considering taking a quick shower and putting on my pajamas when I heard a vehicle pull into the driveway. I looked out the window as a vintage VW van parked beside my car.
I hurried out the front door. A woman in a flowered skirt, peasant blouse, and shawl climbed from the driver’s side. I noted a long gray pigtail hanging down the center of her back. She was no bigger than a minute; it was obvious where Mona had inherited her size-three frame.
“You
“Oh?”
“I called my mama,” she said, “and told her about this god-awful rash. I don’t know if I even mentioned it to you, but she’s a healer and a midwife.”
Mona had told me very little about her past. I knew she’d been born and raised in the Tennessee mountains and that her father had hit the road when he’d learned Mona’s mother was pregnant with her.
“I’ve never met a healer or a midwife,” I said. “That sounds so exciting.”
Mona didn’t look enthusiastic. “She had to tie up a few loose ends, but she promised to hit the road as soon as she could. I just hope that old VW van makes it,” she added. “Lord knows I’ve offered to buy her something new, but she won’t hear of it.”
Once we finished dinner, I wrapped the leftovers, rinsed our dishes, and loaded them into the dishwasher.
“Hey, I know what will cheer you up,” I said.
“Get totally drunk and puke in my hair?”
“How come I never come up with these cool ideas?” I said, giving my forehead a bop with my palm. “I was just thinking we could watch Popeye cartoons.”
Mona gave a wistful smile. “Mr. Moneybags loved those cartoons. We used to watch them for hours. I miss him.”
“I know.”
Mona and I headed for the media room, where an enormous flat screen was attached to the wall. The other walls were devoted to shelves where hundreds of DVDs had been categorized and alphabetized. Comfy overstuffed chairs and sofas dominated the room.
I went straight to the animated section and pulled out one of the Popeye collections. I popped the DVD into the player, and Mona and I settled on the sofa with Mike at my feet. We spent the next couple of hours watching Popeye and Brutus fight over Olive Oyl. Mona and I had long agreed that Olive Oyl was one of the most unattractive women we’d ever seen and wondered why Popeye wasted all those cans of spinach so he could pound Brutus into the ground and win Olive’s affection.
Sometime later, I awoke and realized Mona and I had both fallen asleep. It was after midnight, but Mona was sleeping so soundly that I hated to wake her. Instead, I covered her with a plush throw and took Mike out to do her business. I was not surprised to find Jimbo shining his flashlight at the hedges.
“Who goes there?” he called out.
I gave a massive eye roll. “It’s me, Jimbo!” I said.
He stepped out of the shadows. He was dressed like a ninja. “Did you forget the password?” he asked.
“I’m not going to use a password,” I said, wondering why I didn’t make things easier on myself and play along. But I’d had my fill of weird people for one day. “You know damn well who I am, and I don’t have time to deal with stupid passwords.”
He looked put out.
“Furthermore, Mona’s mother will be arriving soon. She shouldn’t have to use a password either.”
“Are you saying I’m going overboard on this security thing?”
“You think?” I said.
I left him standing there and reentered the house through the back door, pausing at the counter to grab a dog biscuit from a box where I kept Mike’s treats. I offered it to her, and she gobbled it. I looked about the room, wondering if there was anything I should do to get ready for the arrival of Mona’s mother. The pantry and refrigerator were filled with food, since Jimbo had purchased massive amounts on his last grocery run, and I knew the twice-weekly cleaning crew saw that the upstairs guest rooms and baths were maintained.
I was considering taking a quick shower and putting on my pajamas when I heard a vehicle pull into the driveway. I looked out the window as a vintage VW van parked beside my car.
I hurried out the front door. A woman in a flowered skirt, peasant blouse, and shawl climbed from the driver’s side. I noted a long gray pigtail hanging down the center of her back. She was no bigger than a minute; it was obvious where Mona had inherited her size-three frame.
“You
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