you.’
‘Nothing is like me lately.’
‘Sammy!’ Shell seemed to have decided to speak to me again.
‘Just a second. I’m making a sign.’
‘Guess what Miranda’s doing now that Addie ’s closed! She’s up for a big part on Live and Let Live ! Opposite Nate Gundersen! Didn’t you used to date him?’
I capped the pen and rubbed my temples. The headache was back, with newfound superpowers. I turned toward the doorway where Shell held Miranda captive. ‘Yeah, I used to . . .’
Miranda wore pupilless, mirrored contacts.
‘Shit.’
‘Is he nice?’ Miranda said. ‘I’m totally nervous about this audition. It’s my first major TV part, you know? Especially opposite a big star like him. I’ve done under-fives, but that’s it.’
‘Where did you get those lenses?’
‘Aren’t they fabulous?’ Shell said. ‘Everybody’s getting them. They’re called Magic Mirrors.’
‘ Everybody’s getting them?’
‘Well, they’re totally going to be hot in about a week,’ Miranda said. ‘The makeup artist on Addie ? She’s got ’em too, and so does my friend William who works at Allure . I even saw this clerk at that toy and hobby store on 28th who was wearing them. Scared my poor niece half to death. “He’s probably a club kid, honey,” I told her. As if a five-year-old would know what a club kid is. Anyway, I’m sure a month from now they’ll be so over it’ll be embarrassing.’
I had a sudden urge to take my throbbing head and bang it against the wall.
After Shell and Miranda left, Hermyn tapped me on the shoulder. ‘Are you okay? You look pale.’
‘I’m fine. I just realized I may have been wrong about something.’
‘You want to talk about it? I’ve got a date with Sal, but not ’til later.’
I forced a smile. ‘Get out of here. Go have fun.’
‘Call me if you change your mind,’ she said, disappearing out the door and into the night. It was only a little after six, but already dark outside. I’d always hated that about East Coast winters. Like someone shutting the lights off in a windowless room and lying to you that the day is over. That didn’t happen in L.A. Or maybe it did, but I hadn’t noticed.
I glanced at Roland, busy at the computer, then looked down at the note I’d just written: NO TEARS FOR ADDIE HAS BEEN CANCELLED. NO REFUNDS OR EXCHANGES.
I uncapped the red pen and added the word SORRY . It made me feel a little better.
¢>
8
height="1em" align="center"> Another Round
When I got back to my apartment, I saw that the red message light on my answering machine wasn’t blinking. Big surprise. I hadn’t had a date in six months, my mother preferred e-mail and my best friend hated me. Who did I think was going to call?
I headed for the couch, but a furious, floor-rattling banging made me freeze. Jesus Christ, Elmira .
I wondered what she was using down there. It felt like a mop with a brick attached. She was probably ruining her ceiling. ‘All right! All right!’ I collapsed to the floor, slipping off my boots and then my socks.
I lay flat on my back and listened to the banging subside. The wooden floor felt grainy where it connected with the back of my head, the palms of my hands and my bare heels, but I didn’t want to move. I tended to lie on the floor whenever I got depressed. I figured it had to stem from a need for punishment, especially given how dusty my floor was. I rolled my head to the side, looked at the billowy gray poufs under my couch and felt tremendously sorry for myself. Is this what it’s going to be? Just me and my dust bunnies for all eternity?
I closed my eyes, thought about Peter Steele, whose contact lenses were obviously not one of a kind. I could hear Yale’s voice in my head saying, What the fuck is wrong with you? I was beginning to wonder the same thing myself.
What’s the worst thing Peter ever did to you?
That’s hard to say . . . There were so many things.
Did he cut
‘Nothing is like me lately.’
‘Sammy!’ Shell seemed to have decided to speak to me again.
‘Just a second. I’m making a sign.’
‘Guess what Miranda’s doing now that Addie ’s closed! She’s up for a big part on Live and Let Live ! Opposite Nate Gundersen! Didn’t you used to date him?’
I capped the pen and rubbed my temples. The headache was back, with newfound superpowers. I turned toward the doorway where Shell held Miranda captive. ‘Yeah, I used to . . .’
Miranda wore pupilless, mirrored contacts.
‘Shit.’
‘Is he nice?’ Miranda said. ‘I’m totally nervous about this audition. It’s my first major TV part, you know? Especially opposite a big star like him. I’ve done under-fives, but that’s it.’
‘Where did you get those lenses?’
‘Aren’t they fabulous?’ Shell said. ‘Everybody’s getting them. They’re called Magic Mirrors.’
‘ Everybody’s getting them?’
‘Well, they’re totally going to be hot in about a week,’ Miranda said. ‘The makeup artist on Addie ? She’s got ’em too, and so does my friend William who works at Allure . I even saw this clerk at that toy and hobby store on 28th who was wearing them. Scared my poor niece half to death. “He’s probably a club kid, honey,” I told her. As if a five-year-old would know what a club kid is. Anyway, I’m sure a month from now they’ll be so over it’ll be embarrassing.’
I had a sudden urge to take my throbbing head and bang it against the wall.
After Shell and Miranda left, Hermyn tapped me on the shoulder. ‘Are you okay? You look pale.’
‘I’m fine. I just realized I may have been wrong about something.’
‘You want to talk about it? I’ve got a date with Sal, but not ’til later.’
I forced a smile. ‘Get out of here. Go have fun.’
‘Call me if you change your mind,’ she said, disappearing out the door and into the night. It was only a little after six, but already dark outside. I’d always hated that about East Coast winters. Like someone shutting the lights off in a windowless room and lying to you that the day is over. That didn’t happen in L.A. Or maybe it did, but I hadn’t noticed.
I glanced at Roland, busy at the computer, then looked down at the note I’d just written: NO TEARS FOR ADDIE HAS BEEN CANCELLED. NO REFUNDS OR EXCHANGES.
I uncapped the red pen and added the word SORRY . It made me feel a little better.
¢>
8
height="1em" align="center"> Another Round
When I got back to my apartment, I saw that the red message light on my answering machine wasn’t blinking. Big surprise. I hadn’t had a date in six months, my mother preferred e-mail and my best friend hated me. Who did I think was going to call?
I headed for the couch, but a furious, floor-rattling banging made me freeze. Jesus Christ, Elmira .
I wondered what she was using down there. It felt like a mop with a brick attached. She was probably ruining her ceiling. ‘All right! All right!’ I collapsed to the floor, slipping off my boots and then my socks.
I lay flat on my back and listened to the banging subside. The wooden floor felt grainy where it connected with the back of my head, the palms of my hands and my bare heels, but I didn’t want to move. I tended to lie on the floor whenever I got depressed. I figured it had to stem from a need for punishment, especially given how dusty my floor was. I rolled my head to the side, looked at the billowy gray poufs under my couch and felt tremendously sorry for myself. Is this what it’s going to be? Just me and my dust bunnies for all eternity?
I closed my eyes, thought about Peter Steele, whose contact lenses were obviously not one of a kind. I could hear Yale’s voice in my head saying, What the fuck is wrong with you? I was beginning to wonder the same thing myself.
What’s the worst thing Peter ever did to you?
That’s hard to say . . . There were so many things.
Did he cut
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