Heaven and Hellsbane by Paige Cuccaro Page A

stop. I want to tell you to put down that damn sword and walk away.”
    “You know I can’t—”
    “Yeah, I know,” he said, cutting me short. “I know you don’t have a choice. This is part of who you are, but it’s taking over your life, Em. It’s all you do now. There’s no room for anything else.”
    I stepped toward him. “Dan…”
    But he held up a hand. “No. Stop. ” He laughed to himself bitterly. “Jeezus, I sound like my ex-wife. Now I know how she felt all those years. And this isn’t me. I’m not some clingy, needy, insecure wuss. But…”
    He shook his head and looked away, as if he were searching for the right words and not liking what he was coming up with. “I’m losing you, Em. You’re losing you. I can see it happening little by little. One way or another, that part of your life is going to take you away for good; I know it. And it’s driving me crazy that I can’t do anything about it. Not without joining you.”
    I closed the distance between us and put my hands on his chest. “It’s not that I don’t think you’re capable. You’re more than capable. You’re exactly the kind of person the magisters hope for. But Kenny and Abby…they’d lose you.”
    “They wouldn’t.” He took my hands in his. “I’m a cop. They’re used to their dad taking risks to catch criminals. And between me and Janet, we can keep the kids safe. It’s not like your family—I can tell her the truth. Tell her what to keep an eye out for. The demons won’t hurt the kids. They can’t if we just do our jobs as parents and pay attention.”
    “But it’s not the same. I mean, there’s more to it.” I squeezed his hands. “You’re right, this thing, this illorum life, it does separate you from normal people. It pulls you away from everyday life and sucks you into a surreal world filled with angels and demons, life and death. Before you realize it, that world feels like your real life. And all this—going to work, going out with family and friends, just hanging around with normal people—all this is just what you do until your real life pulls you away again. You have kids, Dan. If you allow yourself to be marked, you will abandon them. Not on purpose and not right away, but eventually, a little at a time. They will lose you.”
    He gathered me into his arms, his body hard and warm against mine. “So that’s it then. You are slipping away. Then what’s the point of this, of you and me? What am I supposed to do?”
    Our eyes met and a quick stab of panic pierced my heart. I didn’t want to lose him. Despite all my doubts, I needed him. I needed the normalcy he brought into my life. But was that all he was to me, all I wanted from him? I didn’t know, but I wasn’t ready to give it up.
    “You’re supposed to hold onto me. Be here. Remind me what’s waiting for me, what’s missing in that other life. Remind me why I want to finish all of this.”
    His gaze dropped to my mouth, tracking my tongue when I licked my lips. “I can do that.”
    He kissed me—his lips a soft, warm press against mine, his hands at the small of my back pulling me tight against him. My heart thrummed faster as his desire pressed a hard line against my belly, centering in my mind.
    The hilt of my sword moved and I realized an instant too late that he’d pulled it from its sheath. I gasped, pushing back, my hand shooting lightning fast to catch his wrist.
    “Holy shit, Emma,” he said, a half smile warring with the surprise on his face. “I was just getting it out of the way.”
    “I…I know.” I took the hilt from his hand anyway and stepped back to set it on the small foyer table with my keys. It wouldn’t have marked him unless he’d picked it up to fight evil, but I didn’t want to take any chances.
    I started to turn back but Dan’s arms were already snaking around me, lifting me up to cradle against him. I laughed. “You really gonna do this?”
    “What, sweep you off your feet?” he asked, as I