don’t.” I smile d at her gently. “I wish I could talk to my mom as well.”
“She’s my best friend. I’ve never told anyone that before. Not even Lexi. I guess it’s ’cos you know how it feels.” She glanced at me quickly. “It’s really hard to lose a parent. I don’t think people get it until it happens to them.”
“Does the pain ever go away?” I clench ed my hands, determined not to cry. I’m a man, I shouldn’t let every little thing bring me to tears.
“Not really. It lessens. But there isn’t a day that goes past that I don’t think of her. It gets hard sometimes , because I was so young when she died. I can’t always picture her face and it makes me scared, but then I just look at a photo.”
“I think about my mom every minute of the day.” I looked into my shake. “There isn’t a moment that I don’t hear her voice or see her smile. She was the only one who truly loved me from day one.” My throat choked up and I looked away.
“ She’s not the only one who will ever love you though Bryce.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed. “I think you of all guys won’t have a problem finding love.”
“You speak as though it’s in the future.” I laugh ed.
“You speak as though she’s the only one who’s ever loved you.” She replied to the question not spoken and I nodded my head.
“You know , Anna, you see yourself as a wallflower who no one sees and I see myself as the guy that everyone sees and no one really knows.”
“You’re the guy everyone wants to be , Bryce.” She tapped her fingers against the table. “And the guy every girl wants to be with.”
“Not if they knew what my life was really like.” I sighed. “No one would want to be me, or be with me, then.”
“You have Lexi.”
“I don’t know about that.” I sighed. “I don’t know if I ever really had her.”
“It’s like you were made for each other. It’s the story we all want to believe when we’re in high school. The popular quarterback falls for the shy , studious one. Haven’t you seen the movies, Bryce? Your reality is everyone’s fantasy.”
“But that’s the problem, Anna, don’t you see? This isn’t a movie and it’s not reality. We’re not in high school anymore. I’m far from the blonde jock that everyone wants to be with. I’m just a regular fucked up guy. I’m nobody’s Prince Charming. In fact, I’m more akin to the evil wolf.”
“ You’re one handsome evil wolf, Bryce Evans.”
“But I’m still a wolf , Anna. I’m still a wolf.”
“Yeah, maybe you are.” She smiled at me sadly and, once again, I was taken aback by her complete and utter honesty, even when she knew what she was saying may hurt me. I respected that about her.
“So tell me A nna. Why me?” I cocked my head and licked my lips.
“I suppose you think I’m the evil? The jealous kooky best friend.” She sighed. “I know it doesn’t seem like it , but I regret that night more than anything, it was a horrible thing to do. I’ve got issues with Lexi, but that wasn’t the way to deal with them.”
“I don’t think you’re evil. I’m the last one to pass judgme nt on anybody.” She laughed then, an energized, deep, from the gut laugh and I was happy to see that she was no longer down on herself. “That makes me feel better, Bryce. You are the last person to judge me for what happened.” She wiped tears away from her eyes.
“I want to ask you a question , Anna.”
“Sure.”
“Do you think I would make a good dad?”
“A dad?” Her eyes widened. “Is this a random subject change or what?”
“Yeah. ” I laughed and leaned towards her.“Would you be happy if I was your child’s father?”
“Are you asking me to have a kid , Bryce?” She asked me, only half joking.
“No. I just wanted a third party view on how they think I would be as a dad.”
“But I don’t really know you.” She made a face.
“Well, from what you know?”
“I don’t know. I’m
“She’s my best friend. I’ve never told anyone that before. Not even Lexi. I guess it’s ’cos you know how it feels.” She glanced at me quickly. “It’s really hard to lose a parent. I don’t think people get it until it happens to them.”
“Does the pain ever go away?” I clench ed my hands, determined not to cry. I’m a man, I shouldn’t let every little thing bring me to tears.
“Not really. It lessens. But there isn’t a day that goes past that I don’t think of her. It gets hard sometimes , because I was so young when she died. I can’t always picture her face and it makes me scared, but then I just look at a photo.”
“I think about my mom every minute of the day.” I looked into my shake. “There isn’t a moment that I don’t hear her voice or see her smile. She was the only one who truly loved me from day one.” My throat choked up and I looked away.
“ She’s not the only one who will ever love you though Bryce.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed. “I think you of all guys won’t have a problem finding love.”
“You speak as though it’s in the future.” I laugh ed.
“You speak as though she’s the only one who’s ever loved you.” She replied to the question not spoken and I nodded my head.
“You know , Anna, you see yourself as a wallflower who no one sees and I see myself as the guy that everyone sees and no one really knows.”
“You’re the guy everyone wants to be , Bryce.” She tapped her fingers against the table. “And the guy every girl wants to be with.”
“Not if they knew what my life was really like.” I sighed. “No one would want to be me, or be with me, then.”
“You have Lexi.”
“I don’t know about that.” I sighed. “I don’t know if I ever really had her.”
“It’s like you were made for each other. It’s the story we all want to believe when we’re in high school. The popular quarterback falls for the shy , studious one. Haven’t you seen the movies, Bryce? Your reality is everyone’s fantasy.”
“But that’s the problem, Anna, don’t you see? This isn’t a movie and it’s not reality. We’re not in high school anymore. I’m far from the blonde jock that everyone wants to be with. I’m just a regular fucked up guy. I’m nobody’s Prince Charming. In fact, I’m more akin to the evil wolf.”
“ You’re one handsome evil wolf, Bryce Evans.”
“But I’m still a wolf , Anna. I’m still a wolf.”
“Yeah, maybe you are.” She smiled at me sadly and, once again, I was taken aback by her complete and utter honesty, even when she knew what she was saying may hurt me. I respected that about her.
“So tell me A nna. Why me?” I cocked my head and licked my lips.
“I suppose you think I’m the evil? The jealous kooky best friend.” She sighed. “I know it doesn’t seem like it , but I regret that night more than anything, it was a horrible thing to do. I’ve got issues with Lexi, but that wasn’t the way to deal with them.”
“I don’t think you’re evil. I’m the last one to pass judgme nt on anybody.” She laughed then, an energized, deep, from the gut laugh and I was happy to see that she was no longer down on herself. “That makes me feel better, Bryce. You are the last person to judge me for what happened.” She wiped tears away from her eyes.
“I want to ask you a question , Anna.”
“Sure.”
“Do you think I would make a good dad?”
“A dad?” Her eyes widened. “Is this a random subject change or what?”
“Yeah. ” I laughed and leaned towards her.“Would you be happy if I was your child’s father?”
“Are you asking me to have a kid , Bryce?” She asked me, only half joking.
“No. I just wanted a third party view on how they think I would be as a dad.”
“But I don’t really know you.” She made a face.
“Well, from what you know?”
“I don’t know. I’m
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