doctor but it wasn’t something she could keep secret for much longer. Her body was already changing.
Desperate to see Kevin she decided to find him and with her mother away on a week’s walking holiday she could go without being quizzed about where she was going or whom she was going to see. The next morning she caught the early train into York then bought her ticket to Oxford but as she had more than an hour to wait before her train arrived she went to have a coffee. Emma wasn’t well, she felt a little dizzy, she had pains in her stomach that had started a day or so before but now they had got worse. She was depressed, she had not been eating or sleeping properly for weeks, her body was exhausted with worry about her pregnancy and she was emotionally distraught thinking that Kevin may have moved on and didn’t want to know her anymore.
After finishing her coffee she went to the toilet and was worried that things weren’t normal. She had a discharge and a slight show of blood that greatly concerned her but because she was determined to find Kevin she tried to put it to the back of her mind and went to platform eight to wait for her train.
She looked a sorry sight sitting there alone and everyone who glanced in her direction saw a young woman who had the troubles of the world on her shoulders. When her train pulled in she never got more than three paces towards it before she collapsed on the platform. An ambulance was called and some people with first aid experience did their best to help and comfort her. Emma was taken to Hospital where her condition was quickly assessed; she was having a miscarriage and there was nothing that could be done to stop it. Fortunately, with her mother away for a few days she couldn’t be contacted and by the time she came back Emma was already home so was able to keep it a secret. As the days went by Emma was becoming more depressed and on seeing her doctor he explained that depression after a miscarriage was quite normal and hopefully it would just be for the short-term. He gave her a prescription for some tranquilizers and told her to see him again in a couple of weeks. For the time being, in her confused and emotional state, she put aside her plans to find Kevin but still harboured hopes that he would contact her.
Over the weeks and months that followed Emma and her mother spent less time together, they talked less, became irritated with each other over small things and began to feel the strain of living under the same roof. Emma’s mum spent more and more time with her friends from the local ramblers’ club, she was often out on walks with them and increasingly spent long weekends away in places like the Lake District or the Welsh mountains. Emma’s depression deepened, she missed Kevin so much and did not understand what had happened. Time after time she asked herself the same questions. Why had he never written and why after more than a year of such close intimacy could he just step out of her life in the way that he had?
Emma never went back to see the doctor until early December by which time she was in a bad state. She explained to him as best she could that since her miscarriage and everything else that had happened there were times when she became confused and uncertain about things and wasn’t always sure what she was remembering or thinking was real or not. She tried to tell him how she was finding it difficult to cope and wanted to tell him how she felt her mind was sometimes playing tricks on her but he was already writing out a prescription so she didn’t. He prescribed some more pills and sent her to see a specialist but by then the damage was done, she had suffered a serious breakdown. Her mother’s view of it all was that she should snap out of her moods, get a grip on things and get on with her life.
That first Christmas after Kevin had gone was a dark time for Emma, she had always loved Christmas with the lights, the
Desperate to see Kevin she decided to find him and with her mother away on a week’s walking holiday she could go without being quizzed about where she was going or whom she was going to see. The next morning she caught the early train into York then bought her ticket to Oxford but as she had more than an hour to wait before her train arrived she went to have a coffee. Emma wasn’t well, she felt a little dizzy, she had pains in her stomach that had started a day or so before but now they had got worse. She was depressed, she had not been eating or sleeping properly for weeks, her body was exhausted with worry about her pregnancy and she was emotionally distraught thinking that Kevin may have moved on and didn’t want to know her anymore.
After finishing her coffee she went to the toilet and was worried that things weren’t normal. She had a discharge and a slight show of blood that greatly concerned her but because she was determined to find Kevin she tried to put it to the back of her mind and went to platform eight to wait for her train.
She looked a sorry sight sitting there alone and everyone who glanced in her direction saw a young woman who had the troubles of the world on her shoulders. When her train pulled in she never got more than three paces towards it before she collapsed on the platform. An ambulance was called and some people with first aid experience did their best to help and comfort her. Emma was taken to Hospital where her condition was quickly assessed; she was having a miscarriage and there was nothing that could be done to stop it. Fortunately, with her mother away for a few days she couldn’t be contacted and by the time she came back Emma was already home so was able to keep it a secret. As the days went by Emma was becoming more depressed and on seeing her doctor he explained that depression after a miscarriage was quite normal and hopefully it would just be for the short-term. He gave her a prescription for some tranquilizers and told her to see him again in a couple of weeks. For the time being, in her confused and emotional state, she put aside her plans to find Kevin but still harboured hopes that he would contact her.
Over the weeks and months that followed Emma and her mother spent less time together, they talked less, became irritated with each other over small things and began to feel the strain of living under the same roof. Emma’s mum spent more and more time with her friends from the local ramblers’ club, she was often out on walks with them and increasingly spent long weekends away in places like the Lake District or the Welsh mountains. Emma’s depression deepened, she missed Kevin so much and did not understand what had happened. Time after time she asked herself the same questions. Why had he never written and why after more than a year of such close intimacy could he just step out of her life in the way that he had?
Emma never went back to see the doctor until early December by which time she was in a bad state. She explained to him as best she could that since her miscarriage and everything else that had happened there were times when she became confused and uncertain about things and wasn’t always sure what she was remembering or thinking was real or not. She tried to tell him how she was finding it difficult to cope and wanted to tell him how she felt her mind was sometimes playing tricks on her but he was already writing out a prescription so she didn’t. He prescribed some more pills and sent her to see a specialist but by then the damage was done, she had suffered a serious breakdown. Her mother’s view of it all was that she should snap out of her moods, get a grip on things and get on with her life.
That first Christmas after Kevin had gone was a dark time for Emma, she had always loved Christmas with the lights, the
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