you are? It’s a bloody impertinence. There’s a great desert and there’s a wind stopping. Pete’s been eating too much cheese, he’s ill from it, it’s eating his flesh away, but that doesn’t matter, you’re still both in the same boat, you’re eating all my biscuits, but that doesn’t matter, you’re still both in the same boat, you’re still standing behind the curtains together. He thinks you’re a fool, Pete thinks you’re a fool, but that doesn’t matter, you’re still both of you standing behind my curtains, moving my curtains in my room. He may be yourBlack Knight, you may be his Black Knight, but I’m cursed with the two of you, with two Black Knight’s, that’s friendship, that’s this that I know. That’s what I know.
MARK: Pete thinks I’m a fool? [ Pause. ]Pete … Pete thinks that I’m a fool?
LEN exits. Lights in MARK’S room fade out and then fade in again. Doorbell rings. MARK rises, goes off to front door.
Silence.
PETE [ entering ]:Hullo, Mark.
MARK [ re-enters and sits again ) : Hullo.
PETE: What are you doing?
MARK: Nothing.
PETE: Can I sit down?
MARK: Sure.
Pete sits right armchair. Pause.
PETE: Well, what are you doing with yourself?
MARK: When’s that?
PETE: Now.
MARK: Nothing.
MARK files his nails.
[ Pause. ]
PETE: Len’s in hospital.
MARK: Len? What’s the matter with him?
PETE: Kidney trouble. Not serious. [ Pause. ]Well, what have you been doing with yourself?
MARK: When?
P ETE: Since I saw you.
MARK: This and that.
PETE: This and what?
MARK: That.
[ Pause .]
PETE: Do you want to go and see Len?
MARK: When? Now?
PETE: Yes. It’s visiting time. [ Pause. ]Are you busy?
MARK: No.
[ Pause. ]
PETE: What’s up?
MARK: What?
PETE: What’s up?
MARK : What do you mean?
PETE: You’re wearing a gasmask.
MARK: Not me.
[ Pause. ]
PETE [ rising ]:Ready?
MARK: Yes. [ He rises and exits. ]
PETE [ as he follows mark off ]:Fine day. [ Pause. ]Bit chilly.
The door slams as they leave the house. Lights up on LEN in hospital bed. Listening to wireless (earphones).
PETE and MARK enter.
LEN: You got here.
PETE [ sitting left of bed ]:Yes.
LEN: They can’t do enough for me here.
P ETE: Why’s that?
LEN: Because I’m no trouble, [ MARK sits right of bed. ]They treat me like a king. These nurses, they treat me exactly like a king. [ Pause. ]Mark looks as though he’s caught a crab.
MARK: Do I?
PETE: Airy, this ward.
LEN: Best quality blankets, home cooking, everything you could wish for. Look at the ceiling. It’s not too high and it’s not too low.
[ Pause. ]
PETE: By the way, Mark, what happened to your pipe?
MARK: Nothing happened to it.
[ Pause. ]
LEN: You smoking a pipe? [ Pause. ]What’s it like out today?
PETE: Bit chilly.
LEN: Bound to be.
PETE: The sun’s come out.
LEN: The sun’s come out? [ Pause. ] Well, Mark, bring off the treble chance this week?
MARK: Not me.
[ Pause. ]
LEN: Who’s driving the tank?
PETE: What?
LEN: Who’s driving the tank?
PETE: Don’t ask me. We’ve been walking up the road back to back.
LEN: You’ve what? [ Pause. ]You’ve been walking up the road back to back? [ Pause. ]What are you doing sitting on my bed? You’re not supposed to sit on the bed, you’re supposed to sit on the chairs!
PETE [ rising and moving off ]:Well, give me a call when you get out. [ He exits. ]
MARK [ rising and following him ]:Yes give me a call. [ He exits .]
LEN: [ calling after them ]:How do I know you’ll be in?
Blackout. Lights come up on MARK’S flat. MARK enters and sits. PETE enters, glances at MARK , sits.
PETE: Horizontal personalities, those places. You’re the onlyvertical. Makes you fed dizzy. [ Pause. ]You ever been inside one of those places?
MARK: I can’t remember.
PETE: Right. [ Stubs out cigarette, rises, goes to exit. ]
MARK: All right. Why do you knock on my door?
PETE: What?
MARK: Come on. Why do you knock on my door?
PETE: What are you talking about?
MARK:
MARK: Pete thinks I’m a fool? [ Pause. ]Pete … Pete thinks that I’m a fool?
LEN exits. Lights in MARK’S room fade out and then fade in again. Doorbell rings. MARK rises, goes off to front door.
Silence.
PETE [ entering ]:Hullo, Mark.
MARK [ re-enters and sits again ) : Hullo.
PETE: What are you doing?
MARK: Nothing.
PETE: Can I sit down?
MARK: Sure.
Pete sits right armchair. Pause.
PETE: Well, what are you doing with yourself?
MARK: When’s that?
PETE: Now.
MARK: Nothing.
MARK files his nails.
[ Pause. ]
PETE: Len’s in hospital.
MARK: Len? What’s the matter with him?
PETE: Kidney trouble. Not serious. [ Pause. ]Well, what have you been doing with yourself?
MARK: When?
P ETE: Since I saw you.
MARK: This and that.
PETE: This and what?
MARK: That.
[ Pause .]
PETE: Do you want to go and see Len?
MARK: When? Now?
PETE: Yes. It’s visiting time. [ Pause. ]Are you busy?
MARK: No.
[ Pause. ]
PETE: What’s up?
MARK: What?
PETE: What’s up?
MARK : What do you mean?
PETE: You’re wearing a gasmask.
MARK: Not me.
[ Pause. ]
PETE [ rising ]:Ready?
MARK: Yes. [ He rises and exits. ]
PETE [ as he follows mark off ]:Fine day. [ Pause. ]Bit chilly.
The door slams as they leave the house. Lights up on LEN in hospital bed. Listening to wireless (earphones).
PETE and MARK enter.
LEN: You got here.
PETE [ sitting left of bed ]:Yes.
LEN: They can’t do enough for me here.
P ETE: Why’s that?
LEN: Because I’m no trouble, [ MARK sits right of bed. ]They treat me like a king. These nurses, they treat me exactly like a king. [ Pause. ]Mark looks as though he’s caught a crab.
MARK: Do I?
PETE: Airy, this ward.
LEN: Best quality blankets, home cooking, everything you could wish for. Look at the ceiling. It’s not too high and it’s not too low.
[ Pause. ]
PETE: By the way, Mark, what happened to your pipe?
MARK: Nothing happened to it.
[ Pause. ]
LEN: You smoking a pipe? [ Pause. ]What’s it like out today?
PETE: Bit chilly.
LEN: Bound to be.
PETE: The sun’s come out.
LEN: The sun’s come out? [ Pause. ] Well, Mark, bring off the treble chance this week?
MARK: Not me.
[ Pause. ]
LEN: Who’s driving the tank?
PETE: What?
LEN: Who’s driving the tank?
PETE: Don’t ask me. We’ve been walking up the road back to back.
LEN: You’ve what? [ Pause. ]You’ve been walking up the road back to back? [ Pause. ]What are you doing sitting on my bed? You’re not supposed to sit on the bed, you’re supposed to sit on the chairs!
PETE [ rising and moving off ]:Well, give me a call when you get out. [ He exits. ]
MARK [ rising and following him ]:Yes give me a call. [ He exits .]
LEN: [ calling after them ]:How do I know you’ll be in?
Blackout. Lights come up on MARK’S flat. MARK enters and sits. PETE enters, glances at MARK , sits.
PETE: Horizontal personalities, those places. You’re the onlyvertical. Makes you fed dizzy. [ Pause. ]You ever been inside one of those places?
MARK: I can’t remember.
PETE: Right. [ Stubs out cigarette, rises, goes to exit. ]
MARK: All right. Why do you knock on my door?
PETE: What?
MARK: Come on. Why do you knock on my door?
PETE: What are you talking about?
MARK:
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