the late afternoon sun dipped below the roofs of the palazzi . The duenna had retired but Julia had not yet heard her draw the heavy drapes at her bedroom window, which was directly above them. She suspected it was a stratagem to try and eavesdrop.
Lucia leaned forward and whispered: 'Did you meet him?'
Julia shrugged and mouthed: 'Perhaps.'
'Well?'
Julia smiled and said nothing.
A few moments later Signora Cavalcanti suddenly reappeared on the terrazzo . 'What are you two girls whispering about?'
'Nothing, Signora,' Julia said.
'I thought I distinctly heard voices.'
'I was singing to myself,' Julia said.
The duenna sat down and picked up her lacework, her face pinched into a scowl. The rest of the afternoon passed in silence. Julia felt two pairs of eyes fixed on her, watching her every movement, but she did not look up or say another word.
Chapter 23
Julia drew back the hood of her cloak, slowly and deliberately, savouring the look on his face. It was just vanity, the vice of the Devil, but she so loved the way he stared at her.
She had not intended that there should ever be a second time. But one afternoon, a week or so after their first meeting, the gondola had appeared again by the water gate and the temptation had proved too great to resist. She just needed to feel alive again.
The second time had made it easier to do it a third time, and even easier the next. How many times had they met now? Half a dozen, more? She had never possessed a secret until now and it afforded her a feeling she had never experienced before; she had power. She was no longer utterly in the thrall of her father and Signora Cavalcanti.
'Just for a few moments,' she said. She spoke the same words every time; it was like the bargaining chip that she tossed to Fate. Who could condemn for a few stolen moments? The rest of the day my Confessor will find me faultless.
He reached for her, his palms upwards. On the last two occasions she had allowed him to touch her and this was their signal. She put out her hand and he took it. He cradled it in his palm like a small, wounded bird.
'I love you,' he murmured.
'You cannot love me. I told you, it is impossible. This will be the last time. We have to stop.'
'I cannot stop. If they consign me to all the fires of Hell I could not be in worse torment than I am now. I will stop when they put me in the earth.'
'Abbas, I am to be married soon …' She wondered how she would live without this now. He had made her feel as if she were the most beautiful and important woman in the world. She felt more alive than she ever had. How could she ever go back to watching the world through her window now? In a way she wished this had never begun. Not knowing how life could be better was worse than knowing how it could.
'Come away with me.'
'What?'
'I can arrange passage on a ship.'
'Leave Venice?' She could not believe he could even contemplate such a thing. 'No!'
'We can go to Spain. We will be safe from your father there. My father will give us money …'
'Stop it. This has gone far enough. Take me back. Now!'
'You don't have to marry an old man! You don't have to spend your life shut up in a rich man's palace. You can be free!'
Julia was horrified. It had been easy, until now, to pretend to herself that this was just a game, to forget that the summer was passing quickly and that soon she would be married. But the game had gone far enough. Run away, leave Venice? To even contemplate such a thing was madness.
'What should I do in Spain?' she heard herself say.
'You will be my wife. I will find employment as a soldier there. My father knows many grandees who …'
'You say now you would marry me but what if you changed your mind? What if you grew tired of me? What should become of me, then?'
'I should never grow tired of you.'
'You say this now, of course. But Lucia has told me stories of men who have dishonoured their women and abandoned them. This is madness!'
'You would rather spend
Lucia leaned forward and whispered: 'Did you meet him?'
Julia shrugged and mouthed: 'Perhaps.'
'Well?'
Julia smiled and said nothing.
A few moments later Signora Cavalcanti suddenly reappeared on the terrazzo . 'What are you two girls whispering about?'
'Nothing, Signora,' Julia said.
'I thought I distinctly heard voices.'
'I was singing to myself,' Julia said.
The duenna sat down and picked up her lacework, her face pinched into a scowl. The rest of the afternoon passed in silence. Julia felt two pairs of eyes fixed on her, watching her every movement, but she did not look up or say another word.
Chapter 23
Julia drew back the hood of her cloak, slowly and deliberately, savouring the look on his face. It was just vanity, the vice of the Devil, but she so loved the way he stared at her.
She had not intended that there should ever be a second time. But one afternoon, a week or so after their first meeting, the gondola had appeared again by the water gate and the temptation had proved too great to resist. She just needed to feel alive again.
The second time had made it easier to do it a third time, and even easier the next. How many times had they met now? Half a dozen, more? She had never possessed a secret until now and it afforded her a feeling she had never experienced before; she had power. She was no longer utterly in the thrall of her father and Signora Cavalcanti.
'Just for a few moments,' she said. She spoke the same words every time; it was like the bargaining chip that she tossed to Fate. Who could condemn for a few stolen moments? The rest of the day my Confessor will find me faultless.
He reached for her, his palms upwards. On the last two occasions she had allowed him to touch her and this was their signal. She put out her hand and he took it. He cradled it in his palm like a small, wounded bird.
'I love you,' he murmured.
'You cannot love me. I told you, it is impossible. This will be the last time. We have to stop.'
'I cannot stop. If they consign me to all the fires of Hell I could not be in worse torment than I am now. I will stop when they put me in the earth.'
'Abbas, I am to be married soon …' She wondered how she would live without this now. He had made her feel as if she were the most beautiful and important woman in the world. She felt more alive than she ever had. How could she ever go back to watching the world through her window now? In a way she wished this had never begun. Not knowing how life could be better was worse than knowing how it could.
'Come away with me.'
'What?'
'I can arrange passage on a ship.'
'Leave Venice?' She could not believe he could even contemplate such a thing. 'No!'
'We can go to Spain. We will be safe from your father there. My father will give us money …'
'Stop it. This has gone far enough. Take me back. Now!'
'You don't have to marry an old man! You don't have to spend your life shut up in a rich man's palace. You can be free!'
Julia was horrified. It had been easy, until now, to pretend to herself that this was just a game, to forget that the summer was passing quickly and that soon she would be married. But the game had gone far enough. Run away, leave Venice? To even contemplate such a thing was madness.
'What should I do in Spain?' she heard herself say.
'You will be my wife. I will find employment as a soldier there. My father knows many grandees who …'
'You say now you would marry me but what if you changed your mind? What if you grew tired of me? What should become of me, then?'
'I should never grow tired of you.'
'You say this now, of course. But Lucia has told me stories of men who have dishonoured their women and abandoned them. This is madness!'
'You would rather spend
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