Hard Luck Hank: Prince of Suck

Hard Luck Hank: Prince of Suck by Steven Campbell Page B

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Authors: Steven Campbell
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Rendrae stated.
    My arms were heavy and I did not
normally lift them above my waist unless I had to. So most of the time I stood
around with my arms straight down at my sides. But I reached up and put my hand
to my face. Even though I couldn’t feel my face and couldn’t feel my hand.
    It was just bad, bad news.
    Su Dival had been the absolute leader of
the Totki. I had rarely spoken with him, but he was basically an older, meaner
version of Hong: militant, jingoistic, unreasonable, with an even thicker
accent. Now, presumably, Hong was the leader of the Totki. And there were hundreds
of them wielding spears on the streets of Belvaille.
    This could be it. This could be the catalyst
that destroyed the city for good.
    I could see them all. They were a few
blocks away waiting for my response. I had thirty Stair Boys at my side who
couldn’t dream of stopping that many people.
    I needed to find a scapegoat and I
needed to find one fast.
    “I swear as Supreme Kommilaire the
responsible parties will be found and executed,” I said as harshly as possible.
    About half the Totki cheered that, but I
could see the rest weren’t satisfied. They weren’t marching with spears to
improve their cardiovascular fitness. They didn’t pour out onto the street for
words.
    But maybe some words would help. I took
the microphone from Rendrae.
    “The last time I spoke to Su Dival, I
was struck by his commitment to peace. His compassion. The Onyeu people had a
symbol called zshu-maen which embodied truth and love and wisdom. Su Dival was
those things, he was a zshu-maen,” I said. Just blurting out whatever nonsense
I could think of and hoping no one took offense that I basically called him a
duck.
    I was hoping my fear came across as
sorrow and earnestness.
    The mob didn’t cheer, but I could see
the direct effect of my words. It was tough to be bloodthirsty in the memory of
a purported man of peace.
    Rendrae’s eyes were twinkling. He loved
news. Any news. He would take notes and print an editorial on doomsday.
    “What do you think this means for the
Totki’s chance in the election, since Su Dival was their choice for Governor?”
he asked.
    I cursed by accident and heard my cusswords
reverberate on the loudspeakers.
    “I am certain he would have made an
excellent Governor with his qualities.”
    “Did that mean you endorsed him?”
Rendrae prodded.
    I did my best to control my temper. I
couldn’t believe Rendrae was trying to cook up a juicy story when we were
across the street from a mob that was a shade away from violence.
    There was a long-ass pause as I stood in
front of those thousands of “mourners.” My breathing could be heard over the
loudspeakers.
    “Yes. I endorsed him. Though I had not
come out officially yet.”
    If a city could gasp, Belvaille gasped.
    Even the unflappable Rendrae was
startled.
    “Then does that mean you endorse the
Totki alternate?” he asked.
    “I don’t know who that is. I endorsed a
person, not an ethnicity. I will have to see who they put forward as a
candidate and learn his position on issues. But my first priority is to find
those responsible for this heinous crime.”
    The spears were lowered.
    The mob was now just a big crowd.
    I had successfully neutered the riot and
all it took was endorsing a dead jerk.

CHAPTER 15
     
    We were in a large room, packed with
Totki, who weren’t even pretending to hide the fact they were carrying
firearms.
    In the center of the room was an open
coffin in which the remains of Su Dival were placed.
    Belvaille didn’t have a coroner. If
someone was dead, they were dead. You generally didn’t need anyone to tell you
they were dead.
    We had a difficult enough time taking
care of our living people, so anyone with even a shred of medical training got
work as a doctor.
    But I had my Stair Boys drag a surgeon down
from the main hospital and I immediately appointed him High Investigative
Coroner of Belvaille.
    He did not want the job.
    He was a young lad with

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