I bit back the sudden flare of
irritation at his evasion. He didn’t owe me an explanation, or a blow-by-blow
of what he felt, but somehow it hurt that he was shutting me out the same way
he did with everyone else. Which was irrational, but…I’d never been my most
rational around him. I gave up with a shrug, chiding myself for the interest.
“Alright.”
There
were a few minutes of silence, punctuated only by the swinging of the vehicle
from lane to lane - it occurred to me I should probably try to reign in his
nonchalance towards speed limits, but the blur outside the window had suddenly
become appealing. Finally, when I’d almost forgotten the awkwardness, he sighed
and shrugged against some of the tension, appearing to make a decision.
“It’s
just not worth thinking about, you know? I’ve seen this song-and-dance before,
never ends well. No point getting invested in it, one way or the other.”
I
wasn’t expecting that , but then as I thought about what I knew of his
childhood, I realized that while this might be a major intrusion into my life,
Seth had deliberately built his so that it couldn’t disturb him.
“Cora’s
been married before?”
“Engaged…married…yeah.”
As
much as I’d felt ambivalent about the whole thing, concern for my father
flickered through me.
“You
think their marriage isn’t going to work out?”
My
tone had him turning towards me for a moment, his eyes flicking between the
road and my expression. He cocked his head, seeming surprised.
“You
want it to?”
“Of
course I do! He’s my father.”
That
should have been explanation enough, but he considered it for a few quiet
moments, and I couldn’t help feeling he was judging me for that viewpoint.
“Do
you not?”
He
just shrugged again, and I guessed I wasn’t going to get much more.
What
was more worrying was the idea that Cora had been engaged or married so often
that Seth didn’t seem to consider it worth anything. I wondered whether my
father knew - he had to, right? He’d know what he was getting into, he was
sensible that way. I bit my bottom lip as I considered it, wanting to ask Seth
more about all that but not having a clue how to phrase it in a way that
wouldn’t give offense.
My
expression must have given my thoughts away - either that or the drumming of my
fingers on the side of the door - because he kept looking over at me, and
eventually sighed again.
“You
really care, huh?”
I
managed not to glare at him. Why was that so difficult to understand?
“My
father deserves a chance to be happy, and he’s a good guy. Do you really not care?”
“I
never saw you as all that keen on the whole thing.”
“That’s
not really the point - it’s not about me. Whatever I might think…I wouldn’t
want it to go badly for them.”
He
was silent for another few moments before reaching out to cup my chin, tilting
my head back to meet his eyes. I wanted to bristle at the uninvited touch, but
having his strong hand there brought back his mouth coming down over mine, the
memory of the passion that had always followed that demanding touch heating my
blood instinctively. His eyes glanced away from me every few moments to check
the road, but even so I eyed his one hand on the wheel warily. If it hadn’t
been that our speed had slowed back to something resembling normal, and there
seemed to be no other cars around, I would have probably freaked out at him to
pay attention to the road.
One
finger stroked my cheek with unexpected gentleness and I fought the instinct to
lean into that hand as he gave me the reassurance I hadn’t quite managed to ask
for.
“If
it helps, I do think this time is different.”
His
hand shifted up to touch the hair tied back in a ponytail before his fingers
trailed down my neck and withdrew, leaving me with a shiver of sensation that
had me biting my lip for another reason entirely. He turned his attention fully
back to the road and I brought myself out of the
irritation at his evasion. He didn’t owe me an explanation, or a blow-by-blow
of what he felt, but somehow it hurt that he was shutting me out the same way
he did with everyone else. Which was irrational, but…I’d never been my most
rational around him. I gave up with a shrug, chiding myself for the interest.
“Alright.”
There
were a few minutes of silence, punctuated only by the swinging of the vehicle
from lane to lane - it occurred to me I should probably try to reign in his
nonchalance towards speed limits, but the blur outside the window had suddenly
become appealing. Finally, when I’d almost forgotten the awkwardness, he sighed
and shrugged against some of the tension, appearing to make a decision.
“It’s
just not worth thinking about, you know? I’ve seen this song-and-dance before,
never ends well. No point getting invested in it, one way or the other.”
I
wasn’t expecting that , but then as I thought about what I knew of his
childhood, I realized that while this might be a major intrusion into my life,
Seth had deliberately built his so that it couldn’t disturb him.
“Cora’s
been married before?”
“Engaged…married…yeah.”
As
much as I’d felt ambivalent about the whole thing, concern for my father
flickered through me.
“You
think their marriage isn’t going to work out?”
My
tone had him turning towards me for a moment, his eyes flicking between the
road and my expression. He cocked his head, seeming surprised.
“You
want it to?”
“Of
course I do! He’s my father.”
That
should have been explanation enough, but he considered it for a few quiet
moments, and I couldn’t help feeling he was judging me for that viewpoint.
“Do
you not?”
He
just shrugged again, and I guessed I wasn’t going to get much more.
What
was more worrying was the idea that Cora had been engaged or married so often
that Seth didn’t seem to consider it worth anything. I wondered whether my
father knew - he had to, right? He’d know what he was getting into, he was
sensible that way. I bit my bottom lip as I considered it, wanting to ask Seth
more about all that but not having a clue how to phrase it in a way that
wouldn’t give offense.
My
expression must have given my thoughts away - either that or the drumming of my
fingers on the side of the door - because he kept looking over at me, and
eventually sighed again.
“You
really care, huh?”
I
managed not to glare at him. Why was that so difficult to understand?
“My
father deserves a chance to be happy, and he’s a good guy. Do you really not care?”
“I
never saw you as all that keen on the whole thing.”
“That’s
not really the point - it’s not about me. Whatever I might think…I wouldn’t
want it to go badly for them.”
He
was silent for another few moments before reaching out to cup my chin, tilting
my head back to meet his eyes. I wanted to bristle at the uninvited touch, but
having his strong hand there brought back his mouth coming down over mine, the
memory of the passion that had always followed that demanding touch heating my
blood instinctively. His eyes glanced away from me every few moments to check
the road, but even so I eyed his one hand on the wheel warily. If it hadn’t
been that our speed had slowed back to something resembling normal, and there
seemed to be no other cars around, I would have probably freaked out at him to
pay attention to the road.
One
finger stroked my cheek with unexpected gentleness and I fought the instinct to
lean into that hand as he gave me the reassurance I hadn’t quite managed to ask
for.
“If
it helps, I do think this time is different.”
His
hand shifted up to touch the hair tied back in a ponytail before his fingers
trailed down my neck and withdrew, leaving me with a shiver of sensation that
had me biting my lip for another reason entirely. He turned his attention fully
back to the road and I brought myself out of the
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