Happy Any Day Now by Toby Devens Page B

security number I’d provided to his secretary hadn’t cleared. My mother probably had family in North Korea. Had that raised a red flag?
    I found out soon enough that the problem was worse than international espionage.
    “Kiki’s coming.” Charlie’s voice was funereal. “To the party for Uncle Ed. She was invited, of course—Ed and Kay were my parents’ closest friends. Everyone assumed in her current condition Mother wouldn’t think of making the trip. But dammit if she didn’t decide to attend. Can you believe that?”
    I believed it. I remembered how she’d interrupted Charlie’s and my tryst in the moonlight with her fainting spell. Either the old lady was a witch or you had to laugh at my lousy luck. For the time being, I laughed.
    Charlie exhaled a kind of woof at the other end. “I’m sorry, Ju-ju. This was totally unexpected. You’re not going to back out on me, are you?”
    “Charlie, you know I was never a social butterfly. That hasn’t changed. A room full of strangers, I’d rather hide out in my cocoon. So if you’re going to have to chaperone your mother all evening and that leaves me on my own, then for everybody’s sake I’d rather pass.”
    “No,” he said. “That’s not the way it’s going to be. I’ve got a nurse coming along to keep an eye on her. And if Mother gets out of line, the nurse has strict instructions they’re gone one-two-three. Whatever happens, I’m with you. Leading the way. By your side.”
    “Anatomically impossible.”
    “Not at all. I’ll split myself in half for you. Whatever it takes.”
    The Charlie who’d once dumped me was willing to do whatever it took to win me back. In front of Kiki. If that wasn’t irresistible, I didn’t know what was.
    “In that case . . .” I said.
    • • •
    “Kiki wins round two on points and the fighters haven’t come out of their corners yet,” Marti said when I told her Charlie’s news.
    “Don’t be so sure. I called Lulu Cho for a consult. The fortune-teller? She came up with Kiki’s birth date online and crunched the astrological numbers. She said Kiki is losing her strength while I’m gaining. My magpies are chirping. They symbolize good luck. Kiki’s birds are crows and they’re plunging from the sky.”
    “Meaning?”
    “According to Korean voodoo, crows are bad omens and their fall signifies her
haeng-un
—her luck—is on the descent.”
    Marti snorted. “Kiki’s between eighty and death, so, yeah, she’s descending. But what kind of collateral damage is she going to take out on her way down? That’s the question. Now, my feeling is the woman isn’t altogether—what did you call her, gaga? Say she’s only half out of it, barely ga, and she managed to get a sneak peek at the guest list. When she saw your name on it, she got a sudden urge to party.” She shrugged. “Just a theory.”
    “So you think as soon as I heard about Kiki coming I should have hiked my skirts and run?”
    “No way, girl. This is going to be interesting. A test of sorts. How much has Charlie severed the apron strings? Does Mommy still control him by a thread? Does she jerk him around like a Tennessee walking horse on a tight rein?”
    “Charlie says she probably won’t even remember me. What if she does? What if you’re right and it’s a setup? What if she makes a scene?”
    “That kind won’t make a scene. Restraint has been bred into her bones. She might cut you dead, though.” Marti’s eyes took on an evil glint. “Then again, if she’s well and truly gaga, all bets are off. My grandpaw pulled a gun on my grannie when he was eighty-two. Loaded, but not cocked. Of course, she had to forgive him since he wasn’t all there.” When Marti saw my face, she said, “Come on. Lighten up, kiddo. Everything will be fine as long as you remember your birds are flying and Kiki’s are crashing.”
    Maybe. I’d read that morning on the
Huffington Post
that senators from both sides of the aisle were expected