Halfway There

Halfway There by Aubrie Elliot Page B

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Authors: Aubrie Elliot
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town, so it was going to be only the two of us. This was actually fine with Ellen because as much as she loved Lynne, Ellen had not quite gotten over what is now known as the “Baby Bottle Incident” for which I am responsible because it was I who left them alone for over an hour without proper instructions. When I finally arrived home, I found both of them and our neighbor crying inconsolably. When I stepped into the kitchen, Lynne nearly leapt from Ellen’s arms into mine as if to say “Finally, someone who knows what she’s doing!” Yeah, right. Anyway, I was looking forward to having Lynne to myself and already planning all the things we would do together—the park, the zoo, a museum or two. It was going to be awesome.
    It was awesome. There were a few mistakes, such as taking her to an outdoor museum where she could touch and climb on the displays, then taking her to an indoor museum where she could not. There was forgetting the diaper bag, which is always a bigno-no. I recall a few others, but none compares to THE NIGHT OF THE EARACHE, which will live forever in our family lore.
    Lynne and I had had a nice little dinner at a neighborhood coffee shop, and after dinner she played with toys in the kids’ area while I graded papers. Time slipped by until I realized it was nearly seven, way past bath time and practically past bedtime. I gathered my papers and bundled her up. As we walked to the car, Lynne pulled on her ear and said it hurt. I gave her a reassuring snuggle, figuring a warm blanket, bottle, and bedtime would do the trick.
    As we stepped into the house the phone was ringing. I grabbed it as Lynne and I headed up the stairs.
    â€œHello?”
    â€œI’m just calling to check in and see how things are going.” It was my newly-created brother-in-law. His words sounded more like “Heeey, I’ms jus’ calling to chick in and say hower things goin’.” He doesn’t have an accent. He was a bit under the influence.
    â€œWe’re fine, John. Just fine. How are you two doing?” I went into my room and put Lynne on the bed. I started to undress her which was hard to do because she started squirming.
    â€œWe’re good. Yeah. Things are good. Well, yoursister isn’t doing too good.”
    â€œWhat? What’s wrong? What happened?” I put my hand on Lynne’s chest to hold her still as I pulled off her very full and aromatic diaper.
    â€œNothing really. Well, she’s got the shits. I think she ate something.”
    â€œI thought it was the water you had to stay away from in Mexico.”
    â€œNo, we weren’t drinking any water, but we were drinking!” He started to laugh. It was about this time Lynne started to wail.
    â€œWhat’s wrong, honey?”
    â€œI just told you.”
    â€œNo, not you. Lynne.”
    â€œWhat’s wrong with Lynne? Is she okay? She’s crying? What’s going on?” Suddenly, he was sober. “Let me talk to her.”
    I gave Lynne the phone. She had enough words by this time to carry on a short conversation.
    â€œDaddy?”
    I took this momentary reprieve to drop the disgusting diaper in a bag and then into the wastebasket knowing full well the dog would probably be at it before I could manage to get the bag out of the house. I went back into the bedroom, hands fullof ointment, powder, and diaper.
    â€œMy ear hurts,” Lynne said to her father. I took the phone away. She voiced her displeasure by screaming and crying giant tears that rolled down her little cheeks and plopped on to the comforter. I could hear my sister yelling in the background, while John was yelling something back at her. I tried my best to get his attention.
    â€œJohn! John!”
    â€œWhat? Huh? I’m going to call my mom. She can help. We’ll get you some help. Put Lynne back on the phone.”
    â€œI don’t need your mother to come over, for heaven’s sake.” I

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