said I’m listening,’ she said. I flushed out the sick thoughts front
my mind.
‘Not here. Somewhere private?’
‘Oh, really?’ she said.
I realized it had come out all wrong.
‘Sorry, not like that. Somewhere we can sit, face to face. And it
isn’t so dark.’
‘The cafe?’ she said.
‘Now? It’s packed with the DU crowd.You won’t get a table.’
‘Listen, I have plans. I have to go,’ she said.
‘Okay, the cafe then. Fine.’
We walked to the cafe. As expected, lines to enter extended all the
way outside.
‘It is crowded. Is it okay if we talk in my car?’ she said.
I looked at her. She seemed to have calmed down a little.
‘Yeah. The driver will be there, right?’
‘I’ll send him away. Actually, let’s go to the car. I need to give you
something, too.’
13
We walked out to her car. She handed her driver a fifty-rupee note.
‘Driver bhaiya, can you go and buy a few packets of Parle-G
biscuits for me, please?’
The driver looked puzzled.
‘Madam, we will buy it on the way?’
‘No, go now. Leave the keys. I’ll wait inside’
The confused driver handed the keys to Riya and left.
Riya and I sat in the backseat of her BMW. A fat armrest separated
us. She switched on the reading light and slipped her feet out of her
shoes. Turning side-ways, she leaned back against the window to face
me. She tucked her feet under her legs on the seat.
I sat stiffly. The BMW reminded me how out of place I was in her
world.
‘So?’ Riya said.
‘You were really great on stage. And congrats on winning the
English vocals.’
‘Oh, thank you. That’s nice of you, Madhav, to congratulate me.’
‘Amazing show,’ I said, clearing my throat.
‘Thanks. Is that all you wanted to say to me?’
I shook my head. I hated it when she adopted this formal tone.
‘So let’s skip the small talk. Say what you want to.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Have heard it a million times from you.’
‘Forgive me.’
‘I have forgiven you. I have also moved on. It’s past. It’s over. So,
that’s it?’
I looked into her eyes. In the dim reading light of the BMW, I
could not spot any emotion on her face. I felt weak in her presence.
I fought back tears.
‘I want us to be friends again,’ I said.
‘Why?’ she said, her voice as cold as Delhi’s foggy winter night.
Did she miss nothing about me or what we had?
Because l miss you, damn it! I wanted to scream at the top of my voice. Of course, I couldn’t. I had lost the right to express any words,
'let alone any emotions, to her. I had to say something reasonable,
underplaying what I felt.
‘So I have a chance to show you I am not a jerk,' I said.
‘! am sure you are not. I take your word for it. You don’t have to
show me.’
Riya is too clever, too smart and sometimes too icy. She left me
speechless. I had a sinking feeiing something was not going right.
However, she touched my hand on the armrest. Her soft fingers
pressed into my wrist, as if checking my pulse.
'Listen, Madhav,’ she said. ‘I am sorry I am being this way. Cold
and aloof.’
Her warm touch melted my resolve to keep my composure. I loved
her touch but I wished she would remove her fingers. I didn’t know if
I could hold back my tears anymore.
‘Please,’ I said. It sounded needy. I hated myself for saying it.
‘Madhav, I’m not angry with you anymore. It is anyway not
possible for us to be friends again. I am leaving.’
‘What?’
‘I’m leaving college.’
‘What? Like quitting?’
She nodded.
‘I’m dropping out.’
‘You’re in the second year. You won’t finish your degree?’
‘Never cared much for formal education.’
I looked at her, shocked.
‘Of course, I can say that because my dad’s rich. It’s okay if you
think that I’m a quitter.’
‘No, I didn’t think that. All I’m thinking is, why?’
She shrugged.
‘You’re dropping out of St. Stephen’s. There must be a reason.’
Our eyes met.
my mind.
‘Not here. Somewhere private?’
‘Oh, really?’ she said.
I realized it had come out all wrong.
‘Sorry, not like that. Somewhere we can sit, face to face. And it
isn’t so dark.’
‘The cafe?’ she said.
‘Now? It’s packed with the DU crowd.You won’t get a table.’
‘Listen, I have plans. I have to go,’ she said.
‘Okay, the cafe then. Fine.’
We walked to the cafe. As expected, lines to enter extended all the
way outside.
‘It is crowded. Is it okay if we talk in my car?’ she said.
I looked at her. She seemed to have calmed down a little.
‘Yeah. The driver will be there, right?’
‘I’ll send him away. Actually, let’s go to the car. I need to give you
something, too.’
13
We walked out to her car. She handed her driver a fifty-rupee note.
‘Driver bhaiya, can you go and buy a few packets of Parle-G
biscuits for me, please?’
The driver looked puzzled.
‘Madam, we will buy it on the way?’
‘No, go now. Leave the keys. I’ll wait inside’
The confused driver handed the keys to Riya and left.
Riya and I sat in the backseat of her BMW. A fat armrest separated
us. She switched on the reading light and slipped her feet out of her
shoes. Turning side-ways, she leaned back against the window to face
me. She tucked her feet under her legs on the seat.
I sat stiffly. The BMW reminded me how out of place I was in her
world.
‘So?’ Riya said.
‘You were really great on stage. And congrats on winning the
English vocals.’
‘Oh, thank you. That’s nice of you, Madhav, to congratulate me.’
‘Amazing show,’ I said, clearing my throat.
‘Thanks. Is that all you wanted to say to me?’
I shook my head. I hated it when she adopted this formal tone.
‘So let’s skip the small talk. Say what you want to.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Have heard it a million times from you.’
‘Forgive me.’
‘I have forgiven you. I have also moved on. It’s past. It’s over. So,
that’s it?’
I looked into her eyes. In the dim reading light of the BMW, I
could not spot any emotion on her face. I felt weak in her presence.
I fought back tears.
‘I want us to be friends again,’ I said.
‘Why?’ she said, her voice as cold as Delhi’s foggy winter night.
Did she miss nothing about me or what we had?
Because l miss you, damn it! I wanted to scream at the top of my voice. Of course, I couldn’t. I had lost the right to express any words,
'let alone any emotions, to her. I had to say something reasonable,
underplaying what I felt.
‘So I have a chance to show you I am not a jerk,' I said.
‘! am sure you are not. I take your word for it. You don’t have to
show me.’
Riya is too clever, too smart and sometimes too icy. She left me
speechless. I had a sinking feeiing something was not going right.
However, she touched my hand on the armrest. Her soft fingers
pressed into my wrist, as if checking my pulse.
'Listen, Madhav,’ she said. ‘I am sorry I am being this way. Cold
and aloof.’
Her warm touch melted my resolve to keep my composure. I loved
her touch but I wished she would remove her fingers. I didn’t know if
I could hold back my tears anymore.
‘Please,’ I said. It sounded needy. I hated myself for saying it.
‘Madhav, I’m not angry with you anymore. It is anyway not
possible for us to be friends again. I am leaving.’
‘What?’
‘I’m leaving college.’
‘What? Like quitting?’
She nodded.
‘I’m dropping out.’
‘You’re in the second year. You won’t finish your degree?’
‘Never cared much for formal education.’
I looked at her, shocked.
‘Of course, I can say that because my dad’s rich. It’s okay if you
think that I’m a quitter.’
‘No, I didn’t think that. All I’m thinking is, why?’
She shrugged.
‘You’re dropping out of St. Stephen’s. There must be a reason.’
Our eyes met.
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