Guess Who I Pulled Last Night? by Nikki Ashton Page B

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noises.  She sighed deeply, God how she envied them, how they could laugh
and joke, wondering whether she would ever laugh again.  She was jealous
of their freedom, and the ease at which they could both flirt outrageously with
the young bar man. She envied their lack of responsibility, the fact that no
one else needed them every day.  Kerry loved them both dearly, but
sometimes they were too much, the mocking of each other, the banal gossip and
the raucous laughter was too loud for her head, and she needed to be
alone.  Then Kerry thought about Kelvin and the argument that they had
tonight, all over a pair of pillowcases.  She laughed emptily as she
thought about it; Kelvin had put clean sheets on the bed and had put the
pillowcases with the open ends facing in, towards each other.  World War
three had nearly started, because Kerry had screamed at him that both open ends
should face out.  Of course, Kelvin was right, what did it matter? He
could just turn the pillows, if that was what she wanted, but it did matter to
Kerry, and there was a twisted pile of clean sheets, screwed in a ball, on the
bedroom floor to prove it.  As Kerry rubbed her eyes to soothe away the
pictures of earlier Charlotte and Bets returned.
    “You okay Kerry, only you look really pale, and you’ve been
ever so quiet tonight?” Bets asked, as she placed a glass in front of Kerry.
    “I’m fine, stop fussing.  Anyway, I can’t get a word in
edgeways with you two.  I’m just going to the loo.”  With that she
stomped off to the ladies before they could see the tears welling in her eyes.
    Once inside the cubicle Kerry flopped down onto the closed
toilet seat, holding her head in both hands.  Why did she feel like this,
why was she being so horrible to everyone?  Suddenly, a loud gasp smashed
through her teeth and out of her mouth, and as she inhaled the stale air, a sob
shuddered through her whole body.  Kerry sat, her body shuddering, gasping
for air, her heart hammering inside her rib cage, desperately fighting to get
out. Her hands grasped at each other, pulling the fingers of each hand, then
rubbing her temples and her arms.  Her legs twitched, and the feeling of
anxiousness swept through her whole body; she had to get out into the fresh
air, but she couldn’t move. Kerry's body was like lead, the only movements that
she made were her trembling hands and legs.  For what seemed liked hours,
but was only a matter of a couple of minutes, Kerry clung to herself, desperate
for the feeling to pass, then slowly her breathing became more rhythmic. 
She placed a hand on her chest, and could feel her heartbeat reverting to
normal.  Beads of sweat trickled down her cleavage, and she felt clammy all
over, but she was calm again.  Very slowly Kerry stood up and opened up
the cubicle door, gently making her way to the sink to throw some water onto
her face.  She lowered her head and scooped the water up, glancing at her
reflection in the mirror.  Her pale skin was etched with tiredness, her
eyes sunken and dark, her normally sun filled hair, drab and lifeless, just how
she felt.  Kerry knew that something was wrong, but didn’t know whether
she had the energy to do anything about it.  Perhaps it would pass soon,
and everything would be back to normal.  Kerry left the toilets and made
her way back to Bets and Charlotte, turning on a smile as Charlotte looked up
at her.
     
    As the evening had worn on Bets had become increasingly
concerned about Kerry.  When she had sat back down Bets could see that she
was sweating, not merely glowing as most women did.  She threw a glance at
Charlotte, who nodded in affirmation, but Kerry started to talk, rather too
gaily, about some program that she’d seen earlier about Whales, and so they all
started to relax a little more.  When Charlotte had taken her turn to go
to the ladies, Bets edged up to Kerry and took her hand in hers.
    “Kerry, are you sure that you’re okay?  You can tell