Guardians by Susan Kim Page B

fresh in his mind throughout the day.
    â€œPut your arms up,” he said, demonstrating. “Like that.”
    The girl did as he asked, yet without enthusiasm. Then she sagged and curled up on the cushions, refusing to go on. She turned her face to the wall, pulling the cover up and shielding herself with it.
    Gideon stood over her. “What wrong?” he asked.
    Nur shrugged, refusing to say.
    â€œYou still mad about Esther?”
    Nur still would not look his way, and he noticed a pout had formed on her lips.
    â€œI told you,” he said, “how it going to be. It won’t mean nothing.”
    He was met with silence, and Nur closed her eyes, as if the words hurt to hear. Gideon was growing impatient. Still, he knew the girl had a point: She had taken a risk by helping him with Aras. And good work, he knew, shouldn’t go unacknowledged.
    â€œEverything stay the same with us,” he said. “I promise.”
    Nur’s eyes remained closed. Then they fluttered open. She looked up at Gideon and, to his surprise, didn’t look all that grateful. There was something else in her expression: entitlement.
    â€œI want it to change,” she said.
    Gideon didn’t know how to respond. He was unused to this kind of spirit from Nur, who always did whatever he wanted. Now she leaned toward him, the sheet falling down. The scarf had bunched up around her neck so that nothing covered her, but she didn’t seem to care. “I want it to change now .”
    Although he towered over her, Gideon felt an unexpected flicker of fear. Before he could back away, the girl reached out and grabbed his leg.
    As her fingers curled around his thigh, Gideon’s flesh shrank from her touch. This was the closest she had ever come to him, and his heart began to beat so fast it hurt. Yet he forced himself not to yank away as a sudden thought came to him.
    Maybe Nur could be of help .
    He was aware that on the partnering night, one was expected to engage in physical contact. He had tried not to dwell on what exactly this entailed, yet he suspected there would be no avoiding it. And it could be a good thing . Physical intimacy with Esther could eventually forge a stronger bond between them.
    He certainly didn’t intend to perform the disgusting act that he had heard so much about; that would be out of the question. Yet Gideon thought he could manage something .
    And Nur could be his way to practice.
    â€œAll right,” he heard himself say now, the words sounding harsh. “Come here.” Then he softened it. “Please.”
    Nur smiled, surprised. But instead, she lay back, her hair flowing in a soft mist across the blanket.
    â€œNo,” she said. “ You come here .”
    Gideon swallowed, with difficulty. Then he took a step forward. Tugging at the knees of his jeans so as not to wrinkle them, he descended, stiff and awkward.
    He knelt beside her, fully dressed and unsure what to do next. After a few moments, Nur reached up. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him down on top of her.
    Their bodies were now pressed together. Gideon was surprised: Nur’s naked skin was soft and warm. He smelled her hair and was pleasantly reminded of flowers. Her proximity almost felt nice.
    But slowly this feeling began to fade. The boy began to have trouble breathing. The longer he lay in Nur’s arms, the more he felt suffocated; her grip was growing as tight and deadly asa rope wrapped around him.
    It was all Gideon could do to extricate himself. Digging his fingers into Nur’s hands, first gently and then with increasing panic, he began to pry them loose. It took forever. At last, he wrenched free of her, panting as he sat up.
    â€œThat enough,” he barely managed to say.
    He wiped away the sweat that covered his forehead as he scrambled to his feet. Then he glanced back down.
    Nur was staring at him, not angry or offended, but with a quizzical look on her face. As if he were