having my wife pissed
off. I got to say I am with them on this one…you know damn well you are wrong.”
I closed the door quietly and crawled back into bed.
I went home the
next day early and made sure I used the chain locks so Wes couldn’t get in…I
needed to get my key back. He tried to call so many times and I finally turned
my ringer off. I fell asleep in bed with the shades and curtains pulled. I
didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone. I just wanted to disappear. My
nerves were so rattled I felt sick I wanted to be alone and be miserable.
I woke to a
pounding on my window and Wes hollering to get my attention and then it
stopped. After a few minutes I heard the front door and the chain being
strained as he tried to open the door. I walked out into the living room and he
stopped. He looked at me through the slightly opened door, “Look at me
Sam…please. Let me explain everything. It was completely innocent…Sam you got
to believe me. I know how it looked and I am so sorry but it was nothing.”
Nothing why do they always say that when it is everything…it means EVERYTHING!
I stared at him with a blank look. He was waiting for me to say something but I
had nothing. I felt so empty and I really couldn’t think of one thing to say. I
couldn’t do this again…my heart couldn’t take it. I turned and walked back to
my room leaving him stand there watching me through the cracked door. I just
made it to my bed when the nausea hit I grabbed for the garbage can to empty
the water I had drunk earlier from my system because besides that I had consumed
nothing.
I hid out as much
as I could but Allison was the one person I knew I needed by my side if I was
going to pull through this. I was a nervous wreck all the time I couldn’t
stomach anything without eventually running to the bathroom to get sick. I
couldn’t believe I was going through this again. How could I be so stupid to
let myself fall for another guy only to have history repeat itself? Wes called
everyday he sent flowers and cards. He would text but I never read them and left
messages that I never listened to. I knew how it all went... ‘I’m sorry, it was
a mistake, I’ll never hurt you again, how can I make this right…She meant
nothing…blah blah.’ I refused to hear the excuses I just didn’t give a shit
anymore. I hated that I allowed myself to be hurt a second time and I refused
to ever let anyone hurt me again. I became bitter and angry. The things I used
to do that I enjoyed I really didn’t find enjoyable anymore. I had to force
myself to go to work and take care of the patients that once brought me such
joy. Everything I did anymore was forced.
Wes continued being
pretty consistent with his attempts he would try to call every morning before
work, every lunch hour, on his way home from work and then at least four or
five times throughout the evening. He stopped by a couple times but I had a
locksmith change out the lock on the front door. The first day he tried his key
after I had changed it almost caused me to laugh when I heard him cussing out
the lock…’Damn son of a bitching thing…Fuck!’ He finally realized what happen
and then proceeded to beat on the door for the next twenty minutes then left
squealing his tires.
Twenty Two
It had been a week and a half since I found Sarah half
naked at Wes’s. I was at work. Ethan the little boy that used to bring me such
joy was just finishing up with his therapy and I was squeezing my eyes from the
stress headache I had been fighting all day. I stood up to gather up the
therapy ball and so on when I felt light headed. I quickly lowered myself back
to the floor…things were fuzzy and I think I blacked out…I was seeing spots.
“Samantha Honey, are you okay…you fainted sweetheart. I
called someone just sit still you hit your head.” Martha my
off. I got to say I am with them on this one…you know damn well you are wrong.”
I closed the door quietly and crawled back into bed.
I went home the
next day early and made sure I used the chain locks so Wes couldn’t get in…I
needed to get my key back. He tried to call so many times and I finally turned
my ringer off. I fell asleep in bed with the shades and curtains pulled. I
didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone. I just wanted to disappear. My
nerves were so rattled I felt sick I wanted to be alone and be miserable.
I woke to a
pounding on my window and Wes hollering to get my attention and then it
stopped. After a few minutes I heard the front door and the chain being
strained as he tried to open the door. I walked out into the living room and he
stopped. He looked at me through the slightly opened door, “Look at me
Sam…please. Let me explain everything. It was completely innocent…Sam you got
to believe me. I know how it looked and I am so sorry but it was nothing.”
Nothing why do they always say that when it is everything…it means EVERYTHING!
I stared at him with a blank look. He was waiting for me to say something but I
had nothing. I felt so empty and I really couldn’t think of one thing to say. I
couldn’t do this again…my heart couldn’t take it. I turned and walked back to
my room leaving him stand there watching me through the cracked door. I just
made it to my bed when the nausea hit I grabbed for the garbage can to empty
the water I had drunk earlier from my system because besides that I had consumed
nothing.
I hid out as much
as I could but Allison was the one person I knew I needed by my side if I was
going to pull through this. I was a nervous wreck all the time I couldn’t
stomach anything without eventually running to the bathroom to get sick. I
couldn’t believe I was going through this again. How could I be so stupid to
let myself fall for another guy only to have history repeat itself? Wes called
everyday he sent flowers and cards. He would text but I never read them and left
messages that I never listened to. I knew how it all went... ‘I’m sorry, it was
a mistake, I’ll never hurt you again, how can I make this right…She meant
nothing…blah blah.’ I refused to hear the excuses I just didn’t give a shit
anymore. I hated that I allowed myself to be hurt a second time and I refused
to ever let anyone hurt me again. I became bitter and angry. The things I used
to do that I enjoyed I really didn’t find enjoyable anymore. I had to force
myself to go to work and take care of the patients that once brought me such
joy. Everything I did anymore was forced.
Wes continued being
pretty consistent with his attempts he would try to call every morning before
work, every lunch hour, on his way home from work and then at least four or
five times throughout the evening. He stopped by a couple times but I had a
locksmith change out the lock on the front door. The first day he tried his key
after I had changed it almost caused me to laugh when I heard him cussing out
the lock…’Damn son of a bitching thing…Fuck!’ He finally realized what happen
and then proceeded to beat on the door for the next twenty minutes then left
squealing his tires.
Twenty Two
It had been a week and a half since I found Sarah half
naked at Wes’s. I was at work. Ethan the little boy that used to bring me such
joy was just finishing up with his therapy and I was squeezing my eyes from the
stress headache I had been fighting all day. I stood up to gather up the
therapy ball and so on when I felt light headed. I quickly lowered myself back
to the floor…things were fuzzy and I think I blacked out…I was seeing spots.
“Samantha Honey, are you okay…you fainted sweetheart. I
called someone just sit still you hit your head.” Martha my
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