Grim Tides (Marla Mason) by T.A. Pratt Page B

did a little somersaulting roll out of the cube, springing to her feet. “New friends!” she shouted at Crapsey and Nicolette, then whirled toward Dr. Husch. “First thing’s first! Give me the stuff! The stuff the stuff the stuff !”
    Dr. Husch summoned another orderly who’d been lurking in the shadows, and he came forward carrying a bottle of dark red fluid.
    “Is that blood?” Crapsey said. “Is this some blood magic thing?”
    “Ha,” Elsie Jarrow said. “You ever try dyeing your hair with blood? It’s total crap! Gets all crusty and when it dries it ends up looking brown .”
    “It’s hair dye,” Dr. Husch said as Elsie snatched the bottle and a proffered comb and went back into the cube, to the sink.
    “If I can’t be a redhead, I’d rather be dead,” Elsie said. “Help a girl out, would you, baldie?”
    Nicolette, who’d been uncharacteristically speechless during this whole exchange, smirked, then stepped over a melted orderly to help the most deadly chaos magician in the world dye her hair.
    “Is she for real?” Crapsey said. “She’s, like... not what I expected. I mean, she’s not... all supervillainous and everything.”
    “She’s always tended toward the manic,” Dr. Husch said. “It would not be correct to call her bipolar – she is mono polar. Elsie Jarrow can be warm, and vivacious, and even fun... but she’s responsible for rivers of blood. Half the time she doesn’t even mean to cause the damage she does. The other half of the time... she does mean it. And it’s a lot worse when she means it.” She sighed. “This is going to take a while. We’d best make ourselves comfortable.” She summoned an orderly, who carried over a couple of plastic lawn chairs.
    After nearly an hour of hair ministrations, Elsie declared herself satisfied with the dye and stripped off the red-stained shirt she’d been wearing, dropping it on the floor. Crapsey found himself getting a little aroused at the sight of her in just a bra, even if it was boring hospital-issue underwear – hell, it wasn’t like he’d had much experience with fancy lingerie in the nightmarish dystopian world he’d called home. A girl with no festering sores on her body had been a big treat over there, and he hadn’t exactly been rolling in willing scantily-clad women since he crossed over to this universe.
    “Husch. Lipstick me. I know you like to wear that red red red. Or you did before your lips got torn into little pieces. Which means you don’t need it anymore. Give.”
    Husch handed her a tube, and Elsie lavished her lips in scarlet, then took the hem of Husch’s veil and used it to blot. “Perfecto.” She turned to Crapsey and gave him a dazzling smile. “You. Want to have sex with me right here on this concrete floor? I’ve got this body ! Gotta use it!”
    Crapsey winced. “I would, I mean, but that body used to belong to my monster-boss – ”
    “Okay, too much talking, you missed your window, big boy.” She turned to Nicolette. “You? And me? And the floor? I like the one-armed thing, I bet only having five fingers makes you work a lot harder, am I right?”
    “I’m not into girls, and I hate both the people you look like in that body, but you are Elsie Jarrow, and I will so absolutely fuck you,” Nicolette said.
    “Stop!” Dr. Husch said. “We have work to do, things to discuss, plans to make.”
    “Dr. Jigsaw is a buzzkill,” Elsie Jarrow said. “Lift that veil, pretty lady. “
    “I am not sleeping with you.”
    “Oh, don’t worry, I’m not in the mood anymore, but you’re pretty prudish for a sexbot, even one with a PhD.” She glanced at Nicolette. “The doctor here was invented as a sex homunculus for her creator, did you guys know that? He gave her all those smarts so she could read the Kama Sutra or recite lyric poetry while she gave him handjobs or whatever, and then she goes to college and gets advanced degrees, just like she’s people . Her maker wouldn’t like