What if Mexico's whole generation have turned out like this? Will Postwar be nothing but "events," newly created one moment to the next? No links? Is it the end of history?
"The Romans," Roger and the Reverend Dr. Paul de la Nuit were drunk together one night, or the vicar was, "the ancient Roman priests laid a sieve in the road, and then waited to see which stalks of grass would come up through the holes."
Roger saw the connection immediately. "I wonder," reaching for pocket after pocket, why are there never any damned-ah here, "if it would follow a Poisson… let's see…"
"Mexico." Leaning forward, definitely hostile. "They used the stalks that grew through the holes to cure the sick. The sieve was a very sacred item to them. What will you do with the sieve you've laid
over London? How will you use the things that grow in your network of death?"
"I don't follow you." It's just an equation…
Roger really wants other people to know what he's talking about. Jessica understands that. When they don't, his face often grows chalky and clouded, as behind the smudged glass of a railway carriage window as vaguely silvered barriers come down, spaces slide in to separate him that much more, thinning further his loneliness. She knew their very first day, he leaning across to open the Jaguar door and so sure she'd never get in. She saw his loneliness: in his face, between his red nail-bitten hands…
"Well, it isn't fair."
"It's eminently fair," Roger now cynical, looking very young, she thinks. "Everyone's equal. Same chances of getting hit. Equal in the eyes of the rocket."
To which she gives him her Fay Wray look, eyes round as can be, red mouth about to open in a scream, till he has to laugh. "Oh, stop."
"Sometimes…" but what does she want to say? That he must always be lovable, in need of her and never, as now, the hovering statistical cherub who's never quite been to hell but speaks as if he's one of the most fallen…
"Cheap nihilism" is Captain Prentice's name for that. It was one day by the frozen pond near "The White Visitation," Roger off sucking icicles, lying flat and waving his arms to make angels in the snow, larking.
"Do you mean that he hasn't paid…," looking up, up, Pirate's wind-burned face seeming to end in the sky, her own hair finally in the way of his gray, reserved eyes. He was Roger's friend, he wasn't playing or undermining, didn't know the first thing, she guessed, about such dancing-shoe wars-and anyway didn't have to, because she was already, terrible flirt… well, nothing serious, but those eyes she could never quite see into were so swoony, so utterly terrif, really…
"The more V-2s over there waiting to be fired over here," Captain Prentice said, "obviously, the better his chances of catching one. Of course you can't say he's not paying a minimum dues. But aren't we all."
"Well," Roger nodding when she told him later, eyes out of focus, considering this, "it's the damned Calvinist insanity again. Payment.
Why must they always put it in terms of exchange? What's Prentice want, another kind of Beveridge Proposal or something? Assign everyone a Bitterness Quotient! lovely-up before the Evaluation Board, so many points earned for being Jewish, in a concentration camp, missing limbs or vital organs, losing a wife, a lover, a close friend-"
"I knew you'd be angry," she murmured.
"I'm not angry. No. He's right. It is cheap. All right, but what does he want then-" stalking now this stuffed, dim little parlor, hung about with rigid portraits of favorite gun dogs at point in fields that never existed save in certain fantasies about death, leas more golden as their linseed oil ages, even more autumnal, necropolitical, than prewar hopes-for an end to all change, for a long static afternoon and the grouse forever in blurred takeoff, the sights taking their lead aslant purple hills to pallid sky, the good dog alerted by the eternal scent, the explosion over his head always just about to
"The Romans," Roger and the Reverend Dr. Paul de la Nuit were drunk together one night, or the vicar was, "the ancient Roman priests laid a sieve in the road, and then waited to see which stalks of grass would come up through the holes."
Roger saw the connection immediately. "I wonder," reaching for pocket after pocket, why are there never any damned-ah here, "if it would follow a Poisson… let's see…"
"Mexico." Leaning forward, definitely hostile. "They used the stalks that grew through the holes to cure the sick. The sieve was a very sacred item to them. What will you do with the sieve you've laid
over London? How will you use the things that grow in your network of death?"
"I don't follow you." It's just an equation…
Roger really wants other people to know what he's talking about. Jessica understands that. When they don't, his face often grows chalky and clouded, as behind the smudged glass of a railway carriage window as vaguely silvered barriers come down, spaces slide in to separate him that much more, thinning further his loneliness. She knew their very first day, he leaning across to open the Jaguar door and so sure she'd never get in. She saw his loneliness: in his face, between his red nail-bitten hands…
"Well, it isn't fair."
"It's eminently fair," Roger now cynical, looking very young, she thinks. "Everyone's equal. Same chances of getting hit. Equal in the eyes of the rocket."
To which she gives him her Fay Wray look, eyes round as can be, red mouth about to open in a scream, till he has to laugh. "Oh, stop."
"Sometimes…" but what does she want to say? That he must always be lovable, in need of her and never, as now, the hovering statistical cherub who's never quite been to hell but speaks as if he's one of the most fallen…
"Cheap nihilism" is Captain Prentice's name for that. It was one day by the frozen pond near "The White Visitation," Roger off sucking icicles, lying flat and waving his arms to make angels in the snow, larking.
"Do you mean that he hasn't paid…," looking up, up, Pirate's wind-burned face seeming to end in the sky, her own hair finally in the way of his gray, reserved eyes. He was Roger's friend, he wasn't playing or undermining, didn't know the first thing, she guessed, about such dancing-shoe wars-and anyway didn't have to, because she was already, terrible flirt… well, nothing serious, but those eyes she could never quite see into were so swoony, so utterly terrif, really…
"The more V-2s over there waiting to be fired over here," Captain Prentice said, "obviously, the better his chances of catching one. Of course you can't say he's not paying a minimum dues. But aren't we all."
"Well," Roger nodding when she told him later, eyes out of focus, considering this, "it's the damned Calvinist insanity again. Payment.
Why must they always put it in terms of exchange? What's Prentice want, another kind of Beveridge Proposal or something? Assign everyone a Bitterness Quotient! lovely-up before the Evaluation Board, so many points earned for being Jewish, in a concentration camp, missing limbs or vital organs, losing a wife, a lover, a close friend-"
"I knew you'd be angry," she murmured.
"I'm not angry. No. He's right. It is cheap. All right, but what does he want then-" stalking now this stuffed, dim little parlor, hung about with rigid portraits of favorite gun dogs at point in fields that never existed save in certain fantasies about death, leas more golden as their linseed oil ages, even more autumnal, necropolitical, than prewar hopes-for an end to all change, for a long static afternoon and the grouse forever in blurred takeoff, the sights taking their lead aslant purple hills to pallid sky, the good dog alerted by the eternal scent, the explosion over his head always just about to
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