when compared with the control groups. Truly appreciating the positive aspects of our daily life has a powerful effect on the brain.
Gratitude Tip By following the three-step process to making the information stick in your child’s mind, their brain will develop in positive ways. It opens them up to the good things in their lives and allows them to see the world from an entirely new perspective.
In our experience, we find that people absorb information best through a three-step process that allows us to remember or be mindful of the subject we are focusing on. By first thinking it , then speaking it , and then writing it , we can change our behavior and gradually fill our lives with a positive outlook.
Step 1: Thinking It
In positive psychology, behavior is influenced initially by the things we think about on a day-to-day basis. When your child begins a gratitude journal, they will start to think about the many things in their lives that they could be grateful for.
Eventually, this line of thought will allow them to appreciate things that they had previously taken for granted.
The first step to gratitude is thinking about it.
GRATITUDE Tip Thinking It should occur on a regular basis. Try connecting your thoughts to a daily activity.
SO if you are not a daily tooth-flosser, do not attach it to flossing. Instead, link thinking grateful thoughts to drinking water or getting dressed in the morning.
Gratitude is a practice, like any trait that you want to nurture. Just as intelligence is nothing without continuous learning, gratitude is nothing without daily application in your life.
A child who focuses on the positive is mentally strengthened: the simple act of thinking about all the things they are grateful for every day leads to a powerful cycle of positive thinking.
Conversely, you may want to counteract negative thinking in your child. If you find that they are preoccupied with pointless material wants and are weighed down by negative thoughts, practicing gratitude, with a bit of guidance from you, can change their mindset.
Thinking positive thoughts about what you are really grateful for in small, medium, and large ways always leads to greater understanding and a happier disposition. Children can be so easily bogged-down by material items which tend to distract them from the important things in life. These thankful thoughts help them rediscover what it really means to be happy and to feel better about themselves.
Step 2: Speaking It
If thinking about gratitude is the catalyst that opens you up to appreciating all the good things in your life, then speaking about it is the next logical step. When thoughts become ingrained in the human mind, they are spoken about more often.
You can always tell what a child is thinking because they will speak about it most often. It is a natural way to apply and explore what they have learned by realizing these thoughts through spoken words.
Speaking about gratitude is the next logical step.
GRATITUDE Tip Speaking It* is best in a reciprocal fashion with others—at the dinner table, bedtime, or in the car. If you do not have anyone to Speak It to, then tell your cat. It is still spoken and communicated, which has the same positive impact.
Whereas thinking about gratitude is good, speaking about it is better. Research by Lyubormirsky and her colleagues 26 has shown that when we speak our gratitude aloud, we are more present in the moment, and that can be very valuable to children’s emotional and psychological wellbeing.
*See Appendix 3 in which we give you a template for Family Gratitude Dialogue to help with Speaking It.
Verbalizing gratitude with others, teaches children to have an awareness of what goes on around them, including how people feel about them. When children speak about gratitude, they start to express it more effectively.
Studies by our colleague Sara Algoe 27 have also suggested that expression of this appreciation can repair damaged relationships within
Michele Boldrin;David K. Levine
Mary Buckham
John Patrick Kennedy
R. E. Butler
Melody Carlson
Rick Whitaker
Clyde Edgerton
Andrew Sean Greer
Edward Lee
Tawny Taylor