Grasping at Eternity (The Kindrily) by Karen Amanda Hooper Page A

Fitzgerald.
    It was Friday, and our last lesson on the '90s. We’d studied many genres, but Mr. Milton seemed to actually get excited about the grunge scene: Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, and Nirvana.
    Kurt Cobain was the main topic of discussion and people gave their opinions about his suicide. Since the attack, I’d considered ending my own life a few times, but I was too much of a coward to shoot myself or take a bunch of pills.
    The bell rang. River approached my desk as I packed up my books. “Dope lesson, huh?”
    “I guess so.”
    “Do you like Nirvana?”
    “I like a few of their songs.” I wasn’t going to admit I was a geek and preferred music before the rock era.
    “You seemed to be zoning out during class.”
    “Guess my mind was somewhere else.” In my peripheral vision I saw Faith and Harmony looking in our direction.
    “And where was that?” He sat on my desk.
    “With April. I’m worried about her. Promise you’ll tell her to call me next time you talk to her?”
    “I told you. She barely returns my phone calls. But she’s fine. Just busy playing nurse to her mom.”
    Faith interrupted us. “Maryah, let’s go! Louise and Anthony want to leave right away.”
    “Right.” I stood up and rolled my eyes. “I have to go.”
    He straightened, looking more alert. “Do you want to hang out this weekend? There’s a big party Saturday night.”
    River was asking me to go to a party with him? Talking to me at school was one thing, but being seen with me in public? “I, um—I would, but we’re going to this thing in New Mexico.”
    “You’re skipping town.” He smiled his Cheshire cat grin. “I’m jealous.”
    Faith whined from the doorway. “Come on, Maryah!”
    I shrugged my backpack over my shoulder. “Please tell April to call me.”
    “Enjoy New Mexico. Don’t miss me too much.”
    I followed Faith as she prattled on about how much fun this weekend would be. We were taking a road trip to Albuquerque for a Balloon Fiesta to celebrate Nathan’s birthday. I’d never seen a hot air balloon in real life, so I was kind of looking forward to it.
    Not to mention, I’d finally meet the renowned Nathan.
     
    ∞
     
    Everyone was ready to go when we arrived at the house.
    Anthony had already loaded my bag into the trunk. Carson had changed clothes and packed his car. It felt like River and I had only talked for a few minutes, but Carson grumbled something about me taking forever as I passed him on the porch.
    “Let’s get this train out of the station!” Anthony shouted from the driveway.
    Louise explained that Helen’s company sponsored a balloon in the event, and she and Edgar were supposed to be home in time to go with us, but they got delayed in England. Anthony’s Mustang led the parade of cars, followed by Shiloh’s boxy FJ Cruiser, containing him, Faith, Harmony, and Dakota.
    Carson insisted on illegally driving his new car. How Louise and Anthony were okay with it baffled me. Everyone else refused to ride with him, so I had to choose between riding with Mr. McSnotty, getting windburn from riding in the convertible, or being smashed in a backseat for hours with Dakota and Harmony. Reluctantly, I chose physical comfort over mental ease.
    The first hour of the ride, Carson and I didn’t talk. Then, during the best part of a great song, he turned down the radio and pushed his white mirrored sunglasses to the top of his head. “Can I ask you something?”
    Oh boy. “Sure.”
    “Do you like River Malone?”
    I peered at him under my hat. What an out-of-nowhere question. “Why does it matter?”
    “He’s cocky, and an attention whore.” Yet another wrongly accused victim on Carson’s growing list. “I’ve seen you two walking around school together. He’s obviously interested in you. I didn’t think you’d go for that type of guy, but lately you look kind of…happy, when I see you with him.”
    No way was River interested in me. Not only was he way out of my league,