Gone by Karen Fenech Page A

that?”
“Nothing concrete, but she believes that to be the case.” Clare rubbed her brow. “Jake, I’d like access to your office.”
“Yeah, I got your message. Let me know when and I’ll do my best to accommodate you. I’ll be in tomorrow if you want to come in. We can run Ryder through the system. Strictly for background, I think. I don’t expect that we’ll find anything against him. We’ll see if we can poke any holes in what does turn up.”
“Or we could run that check now.” Clare shifted position in impatience.
Jake studied her for an instant then picked up a cloth that was draped across the top rung and wiped his hands with it. “I’ll need to see if my neighbor can watch Sammie first.”
“Sam-mie?” Clare repeated the name slowly. For some reason, it struck a familiar chord.
“Samantha. My niece.”
His niece, not his daughter. Clare had forgotten that he had a niece. They’d been together when his brother’s daughter was born. Jake had taken some vacation time to fly out and visit his new niece. He had invited Clare along but a conflict at work had kept her from accompanying him. Jake had returned one week later.
In her kitchen, she turned the dial on the oven to three hundred to heat the lasagna she’d made for them. She’d set the tone for a romantic evening and when she’d opened her front door to him, Jake had greeted her with enough enthusiasm that left no doubt that his plans matched hers.
The moon was high in the sky by the time they’d finally gotten around to thinking about dinner. While the food reheated, Jake poured glasses of wine, then he’d proudly shown her a photo of the newborn.
“She looks a little like me. Around the eyes,” Jake had said.
Clare couldn’t see a resemblance, and couldn’t resist teasing him. She smiled. “I noticed it right away.”
He must have heard the laughter in her voice, and laughed himself. It was obvious he was crazy about the little girl, and awed by her. Clare leaned against him and kissed him softly. “I’m happy for all of you.”
Jake slid an arm around her waist and held her close at his side. “That little girl.” His voice lowered. “She’s what it’s all about.”
“For some people,” Clare said softly.
Jake raised an eyebrow. “Do I hear a ‘not for you’ in that statement?”
Clare’s stomach clenched. “I don’t want children.”
“Not now?”
She shook her head slowly. “Not at all.”
“So certain, Clare? Why?”
Children were important to Jake. She loved him. Would not mislead him. He deserved to know there would be no children with her.
Her throat tight, she faced him. She shrugged and said simply, “I suppose I don’t have the gene that makes women want to become mommies.”
A lie. How badly she wanted to have a child of her own. Wanted to have Jake’s child. Her breath held as love surged through her.
She would not tell him of her past. Of her fear that she’d turn on a child of her own one day, as her mother had. Clare shuddered. Better that he believed she didn’t want children, than know she feared turning into a monster.
The memory left Clare chilled to the bone.
Jake’s cell phone rang. He took it from the top of the ladder and answered the call. Clare was about to turn away to give him a degree of privacy, but his gaze flicked to her and held.
He glanced at his wristwatch. “I can be there in about four hours.” He listened once again to his caller then said, “Yeah. See you then. Appreciate the call, Steve.”
Before he’d flipped the phone closed, Clare took a step closer to the ladder. “What?”
Jake remained silent.
He was deciding what to tell her, she thought. “I already know that call had something to do with me. Now, what?”
Jake climbed down then stepped off the ladder and stood in front of her. “Let’s go inside for a minute.”
She gripped his arm. “What?”
Jake ran a hand back through his dark hair. “When you called me about Hoag’s claim that Beth hadn’t left