Golden Anidae (A Blushing Death Novel) by Suzanne M. Sabol Page A

run away. I knew it. I liked to talk it up and convince myself that I was finding myself or some shit like that but I wasn’t. As I sat and stared out into the emptiness of the desert, I admitted to myself that I’d run as fast and as far as I could. I’d let down two men who loved me and an entire city that depended on me.
    “For what?” I huffed to myself, knowing I had to go back now. I’d left them vulnerable and hurting. I’d left Patrick without an explanation. My whole body slumped as I released a ragged breath. That single breath felt like I’d been holding it for months.
    “He’s probably worried sick,” I breathed and tried not to cry as I finally thought about someone other than myself.
    I wasn’t ready to talk to Patrick yet. That was for sure. I wasn’t ready to face the hurt look I knew, knew in my bones would be there. The hurt that I’d caused. I’d never wanted to hurt him, to disappoint him or Dean. In my selfishness, I’d done both.
    “God damn it,” I sighed. “What do I do now?”

Chapter 7
    The pale light of dawn stretched over the desert. The sun was slow and tedious as it rose, shedding light on a new day and it was pissing me off. I hadn’t slept. I sat in the same stiff position as I’d begun the night. Back rigid and shoulders stiff, I sat on an uncomfortable couch and worried.
    Raiden shuffled and huffed outside by the fire pit, gathering up his clothing. He’d left them behind the bench when he changed and ran off to do whatever it was that coyotes do at night. Maybe he had a couple of girl coyotes out there somewhere. I didn’t want to know.
    I’d had time enough to think last night, really consider people other than myself, which I hadn’t been doing a lot of recently. Something Raiden had said had stuck with me and I didn’t like it. I wanted the vampires and shifters to fear me, it helped with discipline, but I sure as hell didn’t want to rule them. I didn’t want that kind of power or responsibility. The only problem was that the vampires and shifters didn’t know that. Now that word of my disappearance was out, Patrick and Dean were left in a bind.
    Raiden stepped up to the sliding glass door and drew it open.
    “Can you take me back to town now? I have a missing girl to find,” I said before he could take a full step inside.
    “Yes, Ma’am,” he answered with a quick nod as he slid the door shut behind him. I guess I wasn’t breaking the ma’am habit anytime soon.
    My dad always said it took longer to get somewhere than it did to get home because the roads were shorter at night. Dumb, I know, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I always counted on that being true. I guess it didn’t work in daylight because the ride back into the city took for-fucking-ever and was uncomfortable. I had too much time to think, as if I hadn’t had enough already. Not to mention the fact that maybe my dad wasn’t the best source of accurate and truthful information. Yeah, I wasn’t resentful at all.
    The skyline rose over the desert like the phoenix, bright and gleaming in the morning sun. I couldn’t stand the silence any longer.
    “Are you really afraid of me?” I asked.
    Raiden didn’t answer nor move. I wasn’t even sure he had heard me.
    “Yes, Ms. Sabin, I am.”
    “I’m sorry.” I meant him no harm. Hell, I even kind of liked him.
    “There’s nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout. You are what you are. You can’t help that. Doesn’t mean I have ta like it.”
    God, I missed Alex. Raiden’s directness was so much like her that I forgot how much I needed her, appreciated her friendship, and craved her bluntness like chocolate. Alex never sugarcoated anything, and I had the feeling neither would Raiden. I turned back to the passenger-side window and watched the desert pass us by.
    Raiden stopped the truck a few houses down from Enza’s and turned the engine off.
    I shook off the haze of being lost in my own thoughts and turned to him.
    “Thanks for the