mine.
“Good, good,” George continues. “First, I’m gonna tell you how this works. Several of Lily Dale’s registered and visiting mediums will take turns coming up here and tuning to the spirit world. They bring your loved ones from the other side to prove the continuity of life between the physical world and the spiritual world. If the medium receives a message for you, they will ask to come to you. You need to acknowledge this—out loud. They need to hear your voice vibrations—it helps them make a connection. Different mediums work in different ways, but make sure to respond to everything they ask, verbally. Now, because we treat this as a religious service, let’s all stand for the opening prayer.”
“Oh Lord, Father-Mother God, as we come once again to the Stump, to prove the continuity of life, we ask that the loved ones from the other side manifest to show their love and guidance. Amen.”
“Okay, our first person to serve spirit tonight is Brenda Hawkins, a registered medium here in Lily Dale. Brenda?”
Brenda thanks George for letting her serve spirit that evening, says a brief silent prayer, and surveys the assembled crowd.
Then she points right at me. It feels like winning the lottery the first time I buy a ticket.
“Sir, may I approach you, please?”
“Sure,” I say.
“A little louder, please?”
“Sure, yes,” I call out. “Absolutely.”
“I’m sensing a spirit … a maternal spirit, please … perhaps a mother or grandmother. Is your grandmother on your mother’s side in spirit, please?”
Assuming that “in spirit” is a euphemism for “dead,” I guess she is referring to Bobalu. I reply, “Yes.”
“Okay, that’s it,” Brenda says. “Tell me, please, was she a little round in the bottom?”
Now, how am I supposed to answer that? Bobalu wasn’t really overweight, but she wasn’t rail thin, either. Imagine how pissed off Bobalu would be if she traveled back from Grandma Heaven to deliver a message to her oldest grandchild, just to arrive as he says, “Oh yeah, she had a huge ass!”
I just shrug and say nothing.
“That’s okay,” Brenda says. “I feel the spirit that is reaching out to you is definitely Grandma.”
Brenda pauses.
“She wants to surround you with light and love right now and let you know that she watches over you and is proud of you,” she resumes. “She knows that you have a job that is difficult and demanding, and she is proud that you do this work. That … that is mostly it … she just wants you to know thatshe misses you and knows how much you loved her. She wants to leave you with blessings … oh. There is one more thing, please.”
I nod, then catch George’s glance and remember to say “Yes” out loud.
“Grandma wasn’t much of a car person, was she, please?” Brenda asks.
“No,” I reply. Outside of smoking in them and driving them to the grocery store, my grandmother had no particular connection with cars.
“Well,” Brenda says with a slight chuckle. “Your grandmother wants you to check your tire pressure over the coming weeks, please.”
“My tire pressure?”
“Yes, she says that it is nothing dangerous; just make sure you are watching it carefully to be safe. That’s it. And I leave you with God’s light and love.”
Brenda then receives a message from some woman’s uncle and is off in another direction.
Tire pressure?
I drove seven and a half hours to have Bobalu tell me to watch my tire pressure? People come to Lily Dale to connect one more time with the recently departed, find out what will happen to themselves and their loved ones, understand the afterlife and how to prepare for it, and finally figure out where Aunt Myra hid her jewelry. All I got is some car advice from a woman who couldn’t tell a tire gauge from a meat thermometer.
Over the rest of the hour-long service, about five other mediums get up to deliver messages, each connecting with three or four spirits. Unlike
“Good, good,” George continues. “First, I’m gonna tell you how this works. Several of Lily Dale’s registered and visiting mediums will take turns coming up here and tuning to the spirit world. They bring your loved ones from the other side to prove the continuity of life between the physical world and the spiritual world. If the medium receives a message for you, they will ask to come to you. You need to acknowledge this—out loud. They need to hear your voice vibrations—it helps them make a connection. Different mediums work in different ways, but make sure to respond to everything they ask, verbally. Now, because we treat this as a religious service, let’s all stand for the opening prayer.”
“Oh Lord, Father-Mother God, as we come once again to the Stump, to prove the continuity of life, we ask that the loved ones from the other side manifest to show their love and guidance. Amen.”
“Okay, our first person to serve spirit tonight is Brenda Hawkins, a registered medium here in Lily Dale. Brenda?”
Brenda thanks George for letting her serve spirit that evening, says a brief silent prayer, and surveys the assembled crowd.
Then she points right at me. It feels like winning the lottery the first time I buy a ticket.
“Sir, may I approach you, please?”
“Sure,” I say.
“A little louder, please?”
“Sure, yes,” I call out. “Absolutely.”
“I’m sensing a spirit … a maternal spirit, please … perhaps a mother or grandmother. Is your grandmother on your mother’s side in spirit, please?”
Assuming that “in spirit” is a euphemism for “dead,” I guess she is referring to Bobalu. I reply, “Yes.”
“Okay, that’s it,” Brenda says. “Tell me, please, was she a little round in the bottom?”
Now, how am I supposed to answer that? Bobalu wasn’t really overweight, but she wasn’t rail thin, either. Imagine how pissed off Bobalu would be if she traveled back from Grandma Heaven to deliver a message to her oldest grandchild, just to arrive as he says, “Oh yeah, she had a huge ass!”
I just shrug and say nothing.
“That’s okay,” Brenda says. “I feel the spirit that is reaching out to you is definitely Grandma.”
Brenda pauses.
“She wants to surround you with light and love right now and let you know that she watches over you and is proud of you,” she resumes. “She knows that you have a job that is difficult and demanding, and she is proud that you do this work. That … that is mostly it … she just wants you to know thatshe misses you and knows how much you loved her. She wants to leave you with blessings … oh. There is one more thing, please.”
I nod, then catch George’s glance and remember to say “Yes” out loud.
“Grandma wasn’t much of a car person, was she, please?” Brenda asks.
“No,” I reply. Outside of smoking in them and driving them to the grocery store, my grandmother had no particular connection with cars.
“Well,” Brenda says with a slight chuckle. “Your grandmother wants you to check your tire pressure over the coming weeks, please.”
“My tire pressure?”
“Yes, she says that it is nothing dangerous; just make sure you are watching it carefully to be safe. That’s it. And I leave you with God’s light and love.”
Brenda then receives a message from some woman’s uncle and is off in another direction.
Tire pressure?
I drove seven and a half hours to have Bobalu tell me to watch my tire pressure? People come to Lily Dale to connect one more time with the recently departed, find out what will happen to themselves and their loved ones, understand the afterlife and how to prepare for it, and finally figure out where Aunt Myra hid her jewelry. All I got is some car advice from a woman who couldn’t tell a tire gauge from a meat thermometer.
Over the rest of the hour-long service, about five other mediums get up to deliver messages, each connecting with three or four spirits. Unlike
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