bag?â
âOf course, young man.â Jack reaches in his pocket, then slides in plain view across the table a small ziplock cellophane bag thesize of a fifty-cent piece, the kind a store would put earrings in. This one is packed with chalky white cocaine.
âBe right back.â William puts it in his pocket, pushes back from the table, and walks past the bar to the staircase leading to the menâs room upstairs.
Aside from the good food and great-looking women, Bistro 18 is mainly popular for having a perfect cocaine bathroom. Most restaurant bathrooms in New York have a few urinals and a couple toilets and there are people coming in and out of there like Grand Central. Thereâs no privacy in the room and you canât snort a bunch of coke up your beak with that going on. Snorting is a loud, obnoxious sound, even to other coke users and especially to nonusers, and it attracts a lot of attention. The best bathrooms have a single stall and a lock on the door. That way you can make yourself comfortable in private. You donât need to cut up lines the way they do in the movies. You just dip in the tip of an apartment key and lift out a pile, maybe the size of a mini chocolate chip, and wedge it up the nostril.
William is back in less than five minutes. âOkay. Yes, I did go to ask for permission.â Weâre all leaning forward, already small bursts of laughter happening in anticipation of this debacle. âKeep in mind, they live in Arizona, so I donât see them much. Weâve met only a couple times before this.â He takes a drink, enjoying the effect of his pauses. âSo we fly out there. Jen knows Iâm going to do this, so she goes out shopping with her mom, and her dad and I stay home at their place for some alone time watching college football. Weâre all set with our beers and the game on, having some nice guy-bonding time, and I canât figure out any smooth transition so I just go right in. I tell him I love Jen, I want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her.â He takes another sip. Woody bursts out laughing, which makes the rest of us laughwondering where this is going. William is a good storyteller. Heâll have a nice career as a salesman.
âHer dad looks stunned, and I think a little alarmed. After at least a full minute of looking right at me, he says, âWell, Iâm concerned about this.ââ
âSo he has a pulse,â says Jack.
âHe then proceeds to rake me over the coals with an interview. Keep in mind, heâs withholding any sort of âyes, you have my permission.â He says, and I quote, âTell me about yourself.ââ
âJesus, I hope you didnât.â Jack is loving this story. Nothing gets him energized like this, like a dog being fed a strip steak, eating it down so fast heâs barely chewing.
âSo I told him I smoke, I drink too much, I do cocaine, I like strippers, love hookers, I think his other daughter is pretty hot, and Iâd kinda like to nail her too.â
Silence. We sit looking at William, blinking. Woody snickers, still with his hand over his mouth. I look at William, my face expressionless except my eyebrows are as high as my forehead can pull them, trying to decide if it is possible that he said those words.
âAre you serious?â Jack looks at William with awe. An almost impossible expression for his face.
âNo. But I wish I had. The guy was such an ass.â
âWhat did you really say?â
âI just told him where Iâm from, where I went to school, I work hard and career is important, I want kids, and family is most important.â
âWas he buying it?â
âNot really. He said heâs concerned about my drinking and my quote unquote nightlife.â
âYouâre famous in Arizona now?â
âJen must have told her parents a few things. Sheâs close with her mom. I guess when we argue,
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