some sort of procedure and…” His voice cracked and he trailed off, too emotional to go on. “Just…I need you to do this.”
“Fine. Fine. Okay.” Guilt racked her. He’d told her he was going to the cardiologist and she’d never thought another thing about it, sure he was fine. She’d been wrong and now he needed her. His health wasn’t a reason for him to run her life, but she’d do this charity thing for him. Afterward, she’d gently set him straight about her plans and his unwelcome control over her life.
“You’ll be there?”
She glanced at Josh. A different guilt resonated in her middle, a dull, insidious emptiness that grew as realization of what she had to do grew. “Yes.”
Her father heaved a relieved breath. “Shall I come to get you?” he asked in a brighter voice.
“No. I’ll talk to you later.” She flipped the phone shut then turned off the power.
She wouldn’t have her father hustling her away from Josh again. It was bad enough she’d have to leave before they’d even really started.
78
Gentle Control
“Josh—”
“I don’t want to hear about it,” he snapped.
“But—”
“But nothing. That man stole years from us, Tempest. I don’t care what he said.
He’s your father so you need to talk to him, but I don’t want to hear what he has to say.”
“But I have to—”
“You don’t have to do anything but be with me, Tempest.” Scooping her into his arms, he drowned her protests with his mouth. He had her almost mindless by the time he reached the bathroom with her. Beneath the shower’s prickling spray, Josh reminded her of all the reasons she didn’t want to leave him. Thankfully, the water cascading over her hid her tears.
* * * * *
Dread plagued Tempest until the next morning when she woke. What could be mocked her as she imagined waking in his arms every morning for the rest of her life. If only… But “if only” only made things worse. How many times had she thought that in her head? If only her mother hadn’t died. If only her father hadn’t remarried that woman who hated Tempest. If only she could lose those stupid extra pounds clinging to her. If only she’d spoken her mind. If only she hadn’t let her father drag her from Josh…
That wondering had never served her. It had opened big gaping holes in her psyche.
Slipping free of Josh’s grasp around her wrist, she got up to make coffee. The caffeine might ease the ache throbbing in her head. Nothing would help her throbbing heart.
If only he’d listen to her and she could explain. If only…those damned words again.
There was no if only. There was just reality. And her reality said she had to leave.
Today.
79
Brynn Paulin
Standing before the untouched coffeepot on the dresser, she curled her arms under her breasts and stared in the mirror. Signs of Josh’s loving marked her body. She smiled faintly touching a red mark on her shoulder. She liked his mark. It would be permanently on her soul marking her as his even when they parted. Staring at the inky circles beneath her eyes, she momentarily considered dealing with her father then returning to Josh. She immediately shoved the idea away. It wouldn’t work. Josh wouldn’t forgive her for choosing her family over him again.
Despair roiled in her stomach. What had happened to her plans and the independence she’d so desperately wanted when she’d come to Josh to obliterate him from her mind? She’d wanted to be free. To be independent. Now she just wanted to be his.
With Josh, she would be free.
He’d encourage her dreams. He’d support her as no one else ever had. With him, she felt desirable and confident. She belonged because she was his.
Then why, dear God, did she have to leave him? She took a wobbling breath. She’d always second guess her independence if she left things as they were with her father.
She needed to deal with him before she could truly be free. Otherwise she’d always feel she had run away. He’d
“Fine. Fine. Okay.” Guilt racked her. He’d told her he was going to the cardiologist and she’d never thought another thing about it, sure he was fine. She’d been wrong and now he needed her. His health wasn’t a reason for him to run her life, but she’d do this charity thing for him. Afterward, she’d gently set him straight about her plans and his unwelcome control over her life.
“You’ll be there?”
She glanced at Josh. A different guilt resonated in her middle, a dull, insidious emptiness that grew as realization of what she had to do grew. “Yes.”
Her father heaved a relieved breath. “Shall I come to get you?” he asked in a brighter voice.
“No. I’ll talk to you later.” She flipped the phone shut then turned off the power.
She wouldn’t have her father hustling her away from Josh again. It was bad enough she’d have to leave before they’d even really started.
78
Gentle Control
“Josh—”
“I don’t want to hear about it,” he snapped.
“But—”
“But nothing. That man stole years from us, Tempest. I don’t care what he said.
He’s your father so you need to talk to him, but I don’t want to hear what he has to say.”
“But I have to—”
“You don’t have to do anything but be with me, Tempest.” Scooping her into his arms, he drowned her protests with his mouth. He had her almost mindless by the time he reached the bathroom with her. Beneath the shower’s prickling spray, Josh reminded her of all the reasons she didn’t want to leave him. Thankfully, the water cascading over her hid her tears.
* * * * *
Dread plagued Tempest until the next morning when she woke. What could be mocked her as she imagined waking in his arms every morning for the rest of her life. If only… But “if only” only made things worse. How many times had she thought that in her head? If only her mother hadn’t died. If only her father hadn’t remarried that woman who hated Tempest. If only she could lose those stupid extra pounds clinging to her. If only she’d spoken her mind. If only she hadn’t let her father drag her from Josh…
That wondering had never served her. It had opened big gaping holes in her psyche.
Slipping free of Josh’s grasp around her wrist, she got up to make coffee. The caffeine might ease the ache throbbing in her head. Nothing would help her throbbing heart.
If only he’d listen to her and she could explain. If only…those damned words again.
There was no if only. There was just reality. And her reality said she had to leave.
Today.
79
Brynn Paulin
Standing before the untouched coffeepot on the dresser, she curled her arms under her breasts and stared in the mirror. Signs of Josh’s loving marked her body. She smiled faintly touching a red mark on her shoulder. She liked his mark. It would be permanently on her soul marking her as his even when they parted. Staring at the inky circles beneath her eyes, she momentarily considered dealing with her father then returning to Josh. She immediately shoved the idea away. It wouldn’t work. Josh wouldn’t forgive her for choosing her family over him again.
Despair roiled in her stomach. What had happened to her plans and the independence she’d so desperately wanted when she’d come to Josh to obliterate him from her mind? She’d wanted to be free. To be independent. Now she just wanted to be his.
With Josh, she would be free.
He’d encourage her dreams. He’d support her as no one else ever had. With him, she felt desirable and confident. She belonged because she was his.
Then why, dear God, did she have to leave him? She took a wobbling breath. She’d always second guess her independence if she left things as they were with her father.
She needed to deal with him before she could truly be free. Otherwise she’d always feel she had run away. He’d
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