you, Matthew?"
"No big deal." He shrugged.
I jumped when the phone rang. Anthony picked it up.
"Hello?â¦Hi Dad. Guess what? I got an A on my report in school today ! â¦Oh, okay." He handed the phone to Matthew. "He wants to talk to you."
Anthony walked over to me and put his arm around my waist. I gave him a squeeze around the shoulders. I wanted to listen in on the conversation between Matthew and his father, but Matthew headed back to his room. "I'm proud of you," I said to Anthony. "You worked hard on that report and it paid off."
"Can I call Brandon later and tell him?"
"Sure."
I glanced over at Matthew's closed bedroom door. Maybe I should have just told him I wouldn't let him go. It might have hurt him less.
CRASH!
My breath rushed from me. I raced to Matthew's door. Please God, don't let him be hurt. I tried the knob, but it was locked. "Matthew, are you all right?" I knocked and got no answer. "Matthew!"
"I'm fine," a small voice said.
"Let me in. Now."
My breathing slowly returned to normal while I waited in the hallway. A second or two later, Matthew clicked the lock. His table lamp lay in pieces on the floor. A large hole gaped at me from the wall. I glared down at my son. I wanted to tear his head off until I saw tears standing in his eyes.
"Man, I can't believe you poked a hole in the wall." Anthony held his hand over his mouth.
"Anthony, please leave me alone to talk with your brother."
"Okay." He gave Matthew a worried glance, and then closed the door behind him.
"Are you all right?" Stupid question, but what else could I say?
"I'm fine." Matthew smacked a hand across his eyes. He sat with his knees up against his chest and he faced the wall.
"Your dad called me earlier. He said you wanted to move in with him."
"Don't worry. He doesn't want me." Matthew's voice lowered to a whisper. "No one does."
I swallowed hard to keep from crying as I walked over to his bed and sat down next to him. He didn't need a weepy woman right now. He needed me to be strong. I pulled his chin so he had to look at me. "I want you." I wiped my finger across his cheek, catching a tear that straggled down his cheek.
"No you don't. You've got Brandon now. You don't need me."
"Don't need�" Tears filled my eyes. "When your father told me you asked to move in with him, I heard a loud thud from my heart hitting the floor."
Matthew stared at the wall behind me.
"I know this has been hard for you. I'm sure at times it feels as if he left not only me, but you as well. I pray one day he realizes it. But until that time, you'll always have me." His lip quivered, and I pulled him into a hug. "I love you, Matthew."
"Even when I'm being a pain?"
"Even when you're being a pain."
He raised himself off my shoulder. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I just don't understand why he doesn't love me anymore."
"He still loves you. I just don't think your dad knows how to act right now." I brushed Matthew's hair from his eyes. "I'm sure one day he'll come around. You just have to be patient."
He nodded.
I kissed him on the forehead, and then looked down at the mess on the floor. "Why don't you get the big pieces, and I'll grab the vacuum." I rose from the bed and walked to the door.
"Mom?" Matthew wiped his tear-stained face. "I love you too."
My heart wanted to yell hurrah ! I chose to keep it inside. Why push my luck?
****
"You're becoming quite the fashion designer, aren't you?" I touched the gauze fabric of the dress Sarah wore. She had made it for her final home economics project.
"Ms. Summers says I'm a natural. She wants me to take her advanced class next year."
"Wow. That's great." I hugged her. It was nice to see her happy. She hadn't mentioned Wes, the boy she liked, for a few weeks. I assumed that crush had passed. Now some football player had her attention. Thank goodness I wouldn't allow her to date until next year when she turned fifteen. That gave me another year before I had to have a
"No big deal." He shrugged.
I jumped when the phone rang. Anthony picked it up.
"Hello?â¦Hi Dad. Guess what? I got an A on my report in school today ! â¦Oh, okay." He handed the phone to Matthew. "He wants to talk to you."
Anthony walked over to me and put his arm around my waist. I gave him a squeeze around the shoulders. I wanted to listen in on the conversation between Matthew and his father, but Matthew headed back to his room. "I'm proud of you," I said to Anthony. "You worked hard on that report and it paid off."
"Can I call Brandon later and tell him?"
"Sure."
I glanced over at Matthew's closed bedroom door. Maybe I should have just told him I wouldn't let him go. It might have hurt him less.
CRASH!
My breath rushed from me. I raced to Matthew's door. Please God, don't let him be hurt. I tried the knob, but it was locked. "Matthew, are you all right?" I knocked and got no answer. "Matthew!"
"I'm fine," a small voice said.
"Let me in. Now."
My breathing slowly returned to normal while I waited in the hallway. A second or two later, Matthew clicked the lock. His table lamp lay in pieces on the floor. A large hole gaped at me from the wall. I glared down at my son. I wanted to tear his head off until I saw tears standing in his eyes.
"Man, I can't believe you poked a hole in the wall." Anthony held his hand over his mouth.
"Anthony, please leave me alone to talk with your brother."
"Okay." He gave Matthew a worried glance, and then closed the door behind him.
"Are you all right?" Stupid question, but what else could I say?
"I'm fine." Matthew smacked a hand across his eyes. He sat with his knees up against his chest and he faced the wall.
"Your dad called me earlier. He said you wanted to move in with him."
"Don't worry. He doesn't want me." Matthew's voice lowered to a whisper. "No one does."
I swallowed hard to keep from crying as I walked over to his bed and sat down next to him. He didn't need a weepy woman right now. He needed me to be strong. I pulled his chin so he had to look at me. "I want you." I wiped my finger across his cheek, catching a tear that straggled down his cheek.
"No you don't. You've got Brandon now. You don't need me."
"Don't need�" Tears filled my eyes. "When your father told me you asked to move in with him, I heard a loud thud from my heart hitting the floor."
Matthew stared at the wall behind me.
"I know this has been hard for you. I'm sure at times it feels as if he left not only me, but you as well. I pray one day he realizes it. But until that time, you'll always have me." His lip quivered, and I pulled him into a hug. "I love you, Matthew."
"Even when I'm being a pain?"
"Even when you're being a pain."
He raised himself off my shoulder. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I just don't understand why he doesn't love me anymore."
"He still loves you. I just don't think your dad knows how to act right now." I brushed Matthew's hair from his eyes. "I'm sure one day he'll come around. You just have to be patient."
He nodded.
I kissed him on the forehead, and then looked down at the mess on the floor. "Why don't you get the big pieces, and I'll grab the vacuum." I rose from the bed and walked to the door.
"Mom?" Matthew wiped his tear-stained face. "I love you too."
My heart wanted to yell hurrah ! I chose to keep it inside. Why push my luck?
****
"You're becoming quite the fashion designer, aren't you?" I touched the gauze fabric of the dress Sarah wore. She had made it for her final home economics project.
"Ms. Summers says I'm a natural. She wants me to take her advanced class next year."
"Wow. That's great." I hugged her. It was nice to see her happy. She hadn't mentioned Wes, the boy she liked, for a few weeks. I assumed that crush had passed. Now some football player had her attention. Thank goodness I wouldn't allow her to date until next year when she turned fifteen. That gave me another year before I had to have a
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