Funny Boys by Warren Adler Page B

being said. Rarely did the women discuss anything about their husband’s business, which apparently was the rules of the game. Mutzie was certain that they were watching her to be sure that she was sticking to the letter of the rules.
    Being with these women did, however, make her realize that being the wife or girlfriend of a gangster was no bed of roses. Kid Twist had spent three years in Elmira, a state prison, and was always being hauled in by the police on suspicion of something or other. The same was true of Pep and Bugsy Goldstein.
    But the women led her to believe that what the police were doing were harassing their men largely because they were not the ones in on the “take.”
    “They’re always picking on the boys because they want a piece of the action,” Helen told her. “Simple as that. It’s true that sometimes my Abie loses his temper and does things maybe he shouldn’t, but as far as I’m concerned he’s a good husband and father and provider and those things matter the most to me.”
    During the first week of her stay at Gorlick’s, Mutzie was subject to words of advice from both Reles’s and Goldstein’s wife. They added up to what she already knew, which was never ever to double-cross Pep or even look at another man while she was Pep’s girl.
    Although she didn’t complain to Pep that she was lonely during the week, he must have gotten differing reports from the other women.
    “You bored up here, Mutzie?” he asked her one Friday night after they had made love. Pep was always pretty hot when he came in from the city on Friday afternoons. The first time was always over with quick.
    “I’ll bet you heard that from the other girls. They probablythink I’m stuck-up when all I want to be is alone. I’m happy here, Pep. Especially when you come up.”
    Above all, she didn’t want him to think that she was unhappy, ungrateful or troublesome to him. It was certainly better being at Gorlick’s than in the hot city and her parent’s stinking apartment for the summer. And she had Pep on weekends and all the prestige that went with being his girl.
    “Those cunts are all jealous, ya know,” Pep said as they lay naked in bed. “Yaw a looker and they all got them fat Jewish tushes.”
    “Maybe, but they don’t really bother me.”
    “They bother ya, I’ll give ’em a headache they don’t feget. Maybe I gotta talk to them.”
    “I wouldn’t like that, Pep. And I’m not bored. Mickey Fine … he’s the tumler, puts on some really good shows. And there’s movies twice a week. You know how I like movies.”
    “He can be funny sometimes, that Mickey,” Pep said.
    “He treats me very nice. A perfect gentleman.”
    “Putz better be.” Pep suddenly became reflective. “He’s a good kid. We did business wid his fada. They got a staw sells foundation garments. I’m gonna talk to him to keep an eye out.”
    “You don’t have to do that, Pep.”
    “Maybe ya keep away from dem cunts, ya be better awf. Mickey’s job is to make ya happy heah, make ya laugh. I don want no long face when I come heah. I want happy. Women don make love so good when dere not happy. I come up here I want no aggravation.”
    “Believe me, Pep, I don’t want any aggravation for you. No way. All I want is to make you happy.”
    “You make him happy,” he said after a pause, pointing to his growing hard-on. “He’s happy, I’m happy.”

    “What a beauty, Pep,” she cried, touching its velvety head with her lips. “It’s the most beautiful thing I ever saw.” She had learned all about the special compliments he liked to hear.
    “It’s just faw you baby. Just faw you.”
    She would spend the weekend as close to him as he would let her get. She would stand right behind him when he played cards with the boys or blackjack at the tables and he called her his good-luck charm. She would even be close by when he just sat around and schmoozed with the boys, most times being the only woman in the group.
    She