she
vaguely recognised in one of the other classes - she thought his name was John.
On one occasion he came up to her and asked if she was from Borås. She said no.
She would rather be alone than mix the two worlds together - the Maya she had
been had no place here.
She
kept herself to herself, reading in her room or in the library. She went for
walks around the lake. She didn't join the gang of younger students who hung
out together in the evenings, sitting on the lawn, playing the guitar and
singing, having parties in their rooms as they giggled and drank booze someone
had smuggled in. No one was allowed to have alcohol in their rooms.
In
fact she found it less painful to be alone than to be the one who was alone.
She was perfectly happy on her own, but was almost ashamed when someone from
class put their head around the door of the library to find her sitting there with
her books: Are you sitting here all on your own? As if there were
something seriously wrong with her.
Caroline
was the one who made her feel just a little more interesting, at least Maya
imagined that the others noticed them together. Caroline had an air of
independence because of her position at the school; she could move in and out
of groups as she pleased. Most of the students seemed to feel privileged to be
in her company; only a few whispered that she was a bit odd. Unpleasant,
somehow. That she was supposed to have those eyes.
Maya
found herself reacting with primitive jealousy whenever she saw Caroline
talking to one of the others - particularly if it was one of the outgoing,
self-confident girls, and she saw them laughing together. Then she would feel
inferior, like the seventeen-year-old she was.
That's
what Caroline does to people, Maya wrote in her book. She makes the
person she turns to feel chosen, while the person she turns her back on is left
shivering in the cold.
----
Chapter
14
2006
At
some point Melkersson had told Seja that in days gone by it was possible to
reach the lake, lsjön, by following designated paths across what was now
cleared land where the trees had been felled. As a young man he had had a
sweetheart in Lerum and he used to go and visit her by walking through the
forests. It wasn't all that far as the crow flies, according to him. Since then
the tree-felling machines had churned up the ground, and the paths were unidentifiable.
The few remaining trees had fallen victim to storms because of their exposed
position, which gave the area an even more chaotic appearance.
The
lake was situated quite high up, as was Stenaredsberget. These days local families made their way up by car, but had to
take a detour down into the village and back up again via Stora Alsjovagen to
the car park. From there they could walk with their blankets and picnic baskets
to reach the communal swimming area, with its diving boards, trampoline and a
small building where people could get changed.
She
and Martin had spent the holiday among the crowds on the sandy beach over on
the Olofstorp side. On the far side of the lake they could see the rocks
leading down into the water on the Stenared side, which were wide and smooth
with an oval-shaped inward curve that was just perfect for one or two
sunbathing bodies. They had swum easily across the lake and lay down to dry off
on the rock.
The
water was deep there. You couldn't see the bottom; you could only sense it
through the weed that extended slimy tentacles right up to the surface in some
places.
'We
ought to make our way home from here,' Seja had said. 'I mean, it can't be very
far.'
Then
she realised it wasn't very clever to leave their clothes and the car on the
other side of the lake and to plough home through rough terrain in their
swimsuits. Besides which, Martin was comfortable. And she never did get him to
go out with the red paint and mark the track, although she had gone
vaguely recognised in one of the other classes - she thought his name was John.
On one occasion he came up to her and asked if she was from Borås. She said no.
She would rather be alone than mix the two worlds together - the Maya she had
been had no place here.
She
kept herself to herself, reading in her room or in the library. She went for
walks around the lake. She didn't join the gang of younger students who hung
out together in the evenings, sitting on the lawn, playing the guitar and
singing, having parties in their rooms as they giggled and drank booze someone
had smuggled in. No one was allowed to have alcohol in their rooms.
In
fact she found it less painful to be alone than to be the one who was alone.
She was perfectly happy on her own, but was almost ashamed when someone from
class put their head around the door of the library to find her sitting there with
her books: Are you sitting here all on your own? As if there were
something seriously wrong with her.
Caroline
was the one who made her feel just a little more interesting, at least Maya
imagined that the others noticed them together. Caroline had an air of
independence because of her position at the school; she could move in and out
of groups as she pleased. Most of the students seemed to feel privileged to be
in her company; only a few whispered that she was a bit odd. Unpleasant,
somehow. That she was supposed to have those eyes.
Maya
found herself reacting with primitive jealousy whenever she saw Caroline
talking to one of the others - particularly if it was one of the outgoing,
self-confident girls, and she saw them laughing together. Then she would feel
inferior, like the seventeen-year-old she was.
That's
what Caroline does to people, Maya wrote in her book. She makes the
person she turns to feel chosen, while the person she turns her back on is left
shivering in the cold.
----
Chapter
14
2006
At
some point Melkersson had told Seja that in days gone by it was possible to
reach the lake, lsjön, by following designated paths across what was now
cleared land where the trees had been felled. As a young man he had had a
sweetheart in Lerum and he used to go and visit her by walking through the
forests. It wasn't all that far as the crow flies, according to him. Since then
the tree-felling machines had churned up the ground, and the paths were unidentifiable.
The few remaining trees had fallen victim to storms because of their exposed
position, which gave the area an even more chaotic appearance.
The
lake was situated quite high up, as was Stenaredsberget. These days local families made their way up by car, but had to
take a detour down into the village and back up again via Stora Alsjovagen to
the car park. From there they could walk with their blankets and picnic baskets
to reach the communal swimming area, with its diving boards, trampoline and a
small building where people could get changed.
She
and Martin had spent the holiday among the crowds on the sandy beach over on
the Olofstorp side. On the far side of the lake they could see the rocks
leading down into the water on the Stenared side, which were wide and smooth
with an oval-shaped inward curve that was just perfect for one or two
sunbathing bodies. They had swum easily across the lake and lay down to dry off
on the rock.
The
water was deep there. You couldn't see the bottom; you could only sense it
through the weed that extended slimy tentacles right up to the surface in some
places.
'We
ought to make our way home from here,' Seja had said. 'I mean, it can't be very
far.'
Then
she realised it wasn't very clever to leave their clothes and the car on the
other side of the lake and to plough home through rough terrain in their
swimsuits. Besides which, Martin was comfortable. And she never did get him to
go out with the red paint and mark the track, although she had gone
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