eaten,” she lied, and slapped the side of her thigh. “This baby fat hasn’t gone anywhere, I’m afraid.”
Rachel opened the fridge to return a jar of mayo, but stopped to give her the stink eye. “Don’t think I won’t hurt you because you’re Matt’s sister.”
Nikki managed a smile. “Have you talked to him today?”
“Early this morning. Why?”
“He say anything about Wallace?”
“It’s sort of a given.” Rachel’s eyes narrowed. “He normally ends up part of the conversation. Tell me what’s going on.”
Taking a deep breath, Nikki pulled a chair out from the table and sat down. “Matt said if I want to say goodbye, I should do it today.” She glanced at Hilda, who was making the sign of the cross. The woman had been with the McAllisters forever. She knew Wallace was worthless, but she still acted human. Why couldn’t Nikki find that kind of compassion?
Rachel sat at the table with her. “So, did you?”
“See Wallace?” Nikki frowned. “No. I came here to cover for you in case you want to be with Matt.”
Rachel’s expression held no censure, simply concern and kindness. “Maybe you should be with him.”
Nikki sighed and stared out the window over the sink. All she could see was the sky, so clear and blue. “I think I might make things worse.”
“Come on, you can’t really think that.” Rachel reached over and rubbed her arm. “Your brother loves you, and he understands.”
“I don’t want to disappoint him, but I can’t fake that I care. Because I don’t. I—I—” Nikki looked at Hilda. “I saw you say a brief prayer and I thought, why can’t I be that charitable? What’s wrong with me?”
“Oh, Nikki.” Rachel scooted her chair closer. “You barely know the man, and he’s been nothing but horrible to you, to your mom, everyone.”
“What I hate most is how he treated Matt. I can’t forgive him for that.”
Rachel shrugged. “Neither can I.”
“But then I’m not hurting Wallace. It’s Matt who’s suffered because I’ve been selfish, and now it’s too late.” Nikki rarely cried, but she was starting to choke. Kindness did that to her.
“This is my honest opinion,” Rachel said, her gaze steady. “Both of you were better off with you keeping your distance. Two extra hands might’ve helped, but not the tension. Knowing how you feel, Matt never wanted you waiting on Wallace or taking care of him. He’d rather you make a clean start here, create good memories.”
In a way this was making Nikki feel worse. Rachel was warm, supportive and perfect for Matt. And Nikki adored her. So how could she feel jealous at the same time? She struggled daily with her petty thoughts. Her relationship with her brother was still new but already changing since he’d hooked up with Rachel. They were great, both trying to keep her from feeling like the odd person out. Nikki’s contribution was to disappear as much as possible.
“I have a confession.” Hilda put a glass of orange juice in front of Nikki. It was understood she’d better drink it, or else. “Yes, you saw me making the sign of the cross. You know why? Because I know Mr. Gunderson is not going up there,” she said solemnly, pointing at the ceiling.
With a straight face, Rachel asked, “You mean upstairs?”
Nikki was able to hold back a grin. Until Hilda glared at Rachel, who started laughing and turning as red as a tomato.
“I wouldn’t even expect that from your brothers.” Hilda turned to the stove, no amusement in her face.
“I’m sorry,” Rachel said. “I shouldn’t have joked. I’m tired, though that’s no excuse.” She stood. “If you don’t need me, I’ll go see Matt.”
Nikki didn’t dare look at her again. If she did, she’d start laughing and not stop. It was one of those weird inappropriate reactions you couldn’t explain. And she’d hate to upset Hilda. She reminded Nikki of her grandmother, and she’d been just as kind, throwing in Spanish words here and
Rachel opened the fridge to return a jar of mayo, but stopped to give her the stink eye. “Don’t think I won’t hurt you because you’re Matt’s sister.”
Nikki managed a smile. “Have you talked to him today?”
“Early this morning. Why?”
“He say anything about Wallace?”
“It’s sort of a given.” Rachel’s eyes narrowed. “He normally ends up part of the conversation. Tell me what’s going on.”
Taking a deep breath, Nikki pulled a chair out from the table and sat down. “Matt said if I want to say goodbye, I should do it today.” She glanced at Hilda, who was making the sign of the cross. The woman had been with the McAllisters forever. She knew Wallace was worthless, but she still acted human. Why couldn’t Nikki find that kind of compassion?
Rachel sat at the table with her. “So, did you?”
“See Wallace?” Nikki frowned. “No. I came here to cover for you in case you want to be with Matt.”
Rachel’s expression held no censure, simply concern and kindness. “Maybe you should be with him.”
Nikki sighed and stared out the window over the sink. All she could see was the sky, so clear and blue. “I think I might make things worse.”
“Come on, you can’t really think that.” Rachel reached over and rubbed her arm. “Your brother loves you, and he understands.”
“I don’t want to disappoint him, but I can’t fake that I care. Because I don’t. I—I—” Nikki looked at Hilda. “I saw you say a brief prayer and I thought, why can’t I be that charitable? What’s wrong with me?”
“Oh, Nikki.” Rachel scooted her chair closer. “You barely know the man, and he’s been nothing but horrible to you, to your mom, everyone.”
“What I hate most is how he treated Matt. I can’t forgive him for that.”
Rachel shrugged. “Neither can I.”
“But then I’m not hurting Wallace. It’s Matt who’s suffered because I’ve been selfish, and now it’s too late.” Nikki rarely cried, but she was starting to choke. Kindness did that to her.
“This is my honest opinion,” Rachel said, her gaze steady. “Both of you were better off with you keeping your distance. Two extra hands might’ve helped, but not the tension. Knowing how you feel, Matt never wanted you waiting on Wallace or taking care of him. He’d rather you make a clean start here, create good memories.”
In a way this was making Nikki feel worse. Rachel was warm, supportive and perfect for Matt. And Nikki adored her. So how could she feel jealous at the same time? She struggled daily with her petty thoughts. Her relationship with her brother was still new but already changing since he’d hooked up with Rachel. They were great, both trying to keep her from feeling like the odd person out. Nikki’s contribution was to disappear as much as possible.
“I have a confession.” Hilda put a glass of orange juice in front of Nikki. It was understood she’d better drink it, or else. “Yes, you saw me making the sign of the cross. You know why? Because I know Mr. Gunderson is not going up there,” she said solemnly, pointing at the ceiling.
With a straight face, Rachel asked, “You mean upstairs?”
Nikki was able to hold back a grin. Until Hilda glared at Rachel, who started laughing and turning as red as a tomato.
“I wouldn’t even expect that from your brothers.” Hilda turned to the stove, no amusement in her face.
“I’m sorry,” Rachel said. “I shouldn’t have joked. I’m tired, though that’s no excuse.” She stood. “If you don’t need me, I’ll go see Matt.”
Nikki didn’t dare look at her again. If she did, she’d start laughing and not stop. It was one of those weird inappropriate reactions you couldn’t explain. And she’d hate to upset Hilda. She reminded Nikki of her grandmother, and she’d been just as kind, throwing in Spanish words here and
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