my hand in his. “Calm down, baby. It’s okay. We’ll figure this out.”
I repeat his words to myself. “We’ll figure this out.” I let out a breath that I didn’t know that I was holding. This is such a huge step for me. I’m letting Colin not only into my heart but into my life. There’s no going back once we’re integrated together.
“Just leave our stuff here. I want to give you a tour first,” I instruct him. I need to see him in my space first before all of his stuff is brought in.
Colin obliges me as I knew that he would. His calm demeanor is helping to ease my nerves.
Once we’re out of the car, he takes my shoulders and squeezes them. He then turns me so I can look into his eyes. “Baby, it’s okay. I’ll love your home because you love it. We’ll make it work because this’s what we both want.”
His words soothe me. I nod my head and smile at him. “I’m okay,” I reassure him.
We walk up the steps to my front door. I unlock it and open the door to let him in. He walks inside standing in my open concept second floor which is my living room, kitchen, and dining room all in one huge space. There are no walls. There’re just pillars and beams that support the upstairs. I watch Colin look around tentatively. He stands in the center of the room seeming to take it all in. Then, he walks to my built-ins and looks at the pictures of my life. There are pictures of me and my sisters. Of course, there are pictures of Rachael and me. I’ve got some pictures framed of my medical school friends and I doing fun and goofy things. He picks up one picture that I’ve framed of me and couple of my friends from Harvard. Adam has his arm thrown around my neck and he’s kissing me on the cheek. I framed it because it’s a fun picture that captures a silly time before residency. I didn’t frame it because Adam’s in it.
Colin’s back is to me. I’ve quietly taken a seat at my huge island that doubles as a breakfast bar. I watch him studying the pictures. I can only see his back, and it’s not betraying what he’s thinking. I can hear the clock on my wall ticking. I sit very still and wait for him to speak.
“Why are there no pictures of you and me?” He asks with his back still to me.
I was prepared for this question, and I’ve thought about my answer already. “Pictures of us were too painful. They reminded me of what I let go, and I didn’t want that reminder.”
When Colin turns around, he’s holding the picture of my friends, Adam, and me. I see jealousy in his eyes. “This is the guy that you hugged at graduation, and you introduced to your family. Why’s he framed and in your house?”
Here’s that pesky reminder of Colin at my medical school graduation yet he didn’t say hello or congratulations. I don’t want to fight with him so I reply, “Adam was a friend and a guy I dated. That’s all. There’s no story there. He didn’t mean anything to me. That’s why he can be framed.”
“I don’t like pictures of him, Charlie. I don’t want to see evidence of others loving you. I saw him at your graduation. I saw the way he looked at you. He had his hand on your back. He cared about you.” Colin opens a drawer in my built-ins and shoves the picture in.
I stand up and walk to him, grabbing his hand and leading him to my linen sofa. I gently push him down. I straddle his lap and plant soft kisses along his chin. Colin’s rough stubble on his cheeks tickles my lips. I’ve got the urge to lick him so I do. He moans in pleasure. I take his gorgeous face in both of my hands. “You had my heart, even then. There’s not been anyone else but you, Colin.Fucking.McKinney. Don’t get upset about things that we can’t change.” I implore him to listen. I can see the turbulence in his green eyes.
There’s a part of me that also wants to say, “If you had said hello or congratulations at my graduation maybe we could’ve begun again. Instead, your jealousy chased you away for
I repeat his words to myself. “We’ll figure this out.” I let out a breath that I didn’t know that I was holding. This is such a huge step for me. I’m letting Colin not only into my heart but into my life. There’s no going back once we’re integrated together.
“Just leave our stuff here. I want to give you a tour first,” I instruct him. I need to see him in my space first before all of his stuff is brought in.
Colin obliges me as I knew that he would. His calm demeanor is helping to ease my nerves.
Once we’re out of the car, he takes my shoulders and squeezes them. He then turns me so I can look into his eyes. “Baby, it’s okay. I’ll love your home because you love it. We’ll make it work because this’s what we both want.”
His words soothe me. I nod my head and smile at him. “I’m okay,” I reassure him.
We walk up the steps to my front door. I unlock it and open the door to let him in. He walks inside standing in my open concept second floor which is my living room, kitchen, and dining room all in one huge space. There are no walls. There’re just pillars and beams that support the upstairs. I watch Colin look around tentatively. He stands in the center of the room seeming to take it all in. Then, he walks to my built-ins and looks at the pictures of my life. There are pictures of me and my sisters. Of course, there are pictures of Rachael and me. I’ve got some pictures framed of my medical school friends and I doing fun and goofy things. He picks up one picture that I’ve framed of me and couple of my friends from Harvard. Adam has his arm thrown around my neck and he’s kissing me on the cheek. I framed it because it’s a fun picture that captures a silly time before residency. I didn’t frame it because Adam’s in it.
Colin’s back is to me. I’ve quietly taken a seat at my huge island that doubles as a breakfast bar. I watch him studying the pictures. I can only see his back, and it’s not betraying what he’s thinking. I can hear the clock on my wall ticking. I sit very still and wait for him to speak.
“Why are there no pictures of you and me?” He asks with his back still to me.
I was prepared for this question, and I’ve thought about my answer already. “Pictures of us were too painful. They reminded me of what I let go, and I didn’t want that reminder.”
When Colin turns around, he’s holding the picture of my friends, Adam, and me. I see jealousy in his eyes. “This is the guy that you hugged at graduation, and you introduced to your family. Why’s he framed and in your house?”
Here’s that pesky reminder of Colin at my medical school graduation yet he didn’t say hello or congratulations. I don’t want to fight with him so I reply, “Adam was a friend and a guy I dated. That’s all. There’s no story there. He didn’t mean anything to me. That’s why he can be framed.”
“I don’t like pictures of him, Charlie. I don’t want to see evidence of others loving you. I saw him at your graduation. I saw the way he looked at you. He had his hand on your back. He cared about you.” Colin opens a drawer in my built-ins and shoves the picture in.
I stand up and walk to him, grabbing his hand and leading him to my linen sofa. I gently push him down. I straddle his lap and plant soft kisses along his chin. Colin’s rough stubble on his cheeks tickles my lips. I’ve got the urge to lick him so I do. He moans in pleasure. I take his gorgeous face in both of my hands. “You had my heart, even then. There’s not been anyone else but you, Colin.Fucking.McKinney. Don’t get upset about things that we can’t change.” I implore him to listen. I can see the turbulence in his green eyes.
There’s a part of me that also wants to say, “If you had said hello or congratulations at my graduation maybe we could’ve begun again. Instead, your jealousy chased you away for
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