Freedom Forever by Lexy Timms Page B

you for letting me steal you away,” Clara said.
    “Oh, it’s no trouble.” Cecelia tried not to show that she was shuddering with relief to be extricated from the conversation. Perhaps she might not go back, she thought, in a burst of inspiration. She could get Clara to go tell Abraham she’d eaten something bad, perhaps. He wouldn’t yell at her.
    But in the shadows of the barn, as they slipped inside, Clara took extra care to bar the door before turning to take Cecelia’s hands in her own.
    “Is everything well with you?” she asked without preamble.
    For a moment, Cecelia could not speak for surprise. She stared, chewing at her bottom lip, the truth tumbling over on her tongue and her lips pressed tight to hold it in. She could not say. She could not tell anyone.
    “Of course all is well,” she said finally. Was that her voice? It sounded too high, almost hysterical in its lightness. She managed a smile.
    “Are you...are you certain?” Clara’s brow furrowed.
    “Of course ,” Cecelia said, trying to put as much feeling as she could into the words. She pasted a smile on her face. “Jasper and I are safe, Solomon and Violet are engaged, and it’s a lovely wedding, Clara, really it is. You look radiant.”
    “You don’t,” Clara said bluntly.
    “I’ve been ill,” Cecelia said. She ducked her head to hide her blush. Even with the engagement, even with all of it, she could not hide her shame from her family. By the time they returned home, to find that Abraham had spoken to her mother and secured the engagement, Solomon and Jasper knew she was pregnant—and there had been no hiding it from Clara and Millicent.
    “I know you’ve been ill,” Clara said now, and her voice was not admonishing, but gentle. She reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind Cecelia’s ear. “But it’s more than that. You look...you look heartsick. And Abraham looks like he hates you and loves you all at once.”
    “He does.” Cecelia gave a choking laugh.
    “You’ve been miserable since you got engaged. Don’t try to deceive me. Remember, I know what it’s like to be engaged and be sick with it.”
    “I hadn’t thought of that.” How could Cecelia have forgotten Clara’s first engagement? She had walked the hallways as silently as Cecelia did now, disappearing into silence and a pale face, like a little ghost.
    “Cee...please tell me the truth.” Clara’s face was twisted, anguished.
    “I can’t .”
    “You can. Please. Something is terribly wrong, I know it is. I want to help you.”
    “I don’t think anyone can,” Cecelia said miserably.
    “Will you tell me what’s wrong?” Clara suggested. She squeezed Cecelia’s hands. “Sometimes the things that seem insurmountable to us can be solved with a little help. And even if not—” for she saw the denial on Cecelia’s lips “—it can help to have someone else bear the truth with you.”
    “Yes.” The answer came in a rush, and Cecelia closed her eyes against a wave of relief. She should not tell, she knew that, but the secrets were eating her alive inside. If she could only tell someone the truth, if she could only speak it aloud and have someone hear her...
    She should tell Abraham, sometime, that he had pushed her to this. He held the truth over her like a spell, binding her to silence. And now she had realized, at last, that it was all he had. If she told the truth...he had no power anymore. For the first time in weeks, Cecelia felt hope stir in her chest. She let Clara draw her to the back of the barn, settling them both down in the straw and leaning close to whisper.
    “It all began the day we first heard Solomon was missing...”
    Chapter 2
    It was a beautiful day, for all that the winter winds cut down Main Street and made them all shiver. They had piled into the carriage with good humor, huddling together and pressing their feet against the heated bricks inside the blankets, and Cecelia felt fresh-cheeked and beautiful as they rode into