what if she wanted something else
entirely? Something Leo couldn’t offer?
Her thoughts drifted back to Walter, someone who didn’t take
her to the hottest places, write poems, eat delicacies she couldn’t pronounce,
or make passionate love in the pale dawn of morning. Yet, there wasn’t a doubt
in her mind that Walter would be a good husband. Leo, on the other hand, would
give her love and good times, but could he give her security? A family? Children? She didn’t
know.
Leo noticed the doubt in her eyes and took her hand. “Hey,”
he said. “It’s going to be all right, I promise. Trust your heart, and you’ll
never go wrong.”
“I know,” Catherine said. But with her heart pulling one way
and her head pulling another, she didn’t know much of anything.
*
Sensing Catherine’s reticence and doubt, Leo decided to do
all he could to banish it from her mind. So, in the weeks and months that
followed, he established himself in Philadelphia, assisting other artists,
posing as a model, and finding customers for his art. The abstract
expressionist movement was alive and well in the City of Brotherly Love, and as
an artistic, able-bodied young man, he had little trouble finding work in the
city’s many galleries and art studios.
He rented a small room in a rough part of town so what
little money he made could be spent solely on Catherine, showing her that he
too could provide for her. In truth, the sheer volume of activities, fine
dinners, field trips, and extravagant dates put Leo in financial and emotional
turmoil in a courtship that was neither conventional nor easy.
At first, Catherine thought she’d confess her affair to
Walter, too, but something held her back; instead, she saw Leo as often as she
could. They met daily—before work, at lunch, late at night, and pretty much any
time Walter had other obligations and Leo’s odd jobs allowed, which was often.
The romance with Leo bloomed brighter than ever, but
Catherine could not sever the ties with Walter. Slowly, she noticed the subtle
ways Leo had changed through those ten years.
Although he had stopped his drug use from his Paris days, he
liked to drink. Despite Leo’s claims of moderate alcohol use, Catherine had
grown up in a home of teetotalers and what looked moderate to Leo often looked
excessive to her. Yet, she didn’t think she could ask him to stop drinking
altogether; after all, she wasn’t his mother. She was his...
That’s the problem , she realized. I don’t know what I am . She could be his
girlfriend, but she also was about to become someone else’s wife, a wife with a
decent fiancé ready for marriage. What was she doing ratting around town with a
struggling artist who had an unacknowledged drinking problem?
When she was honest with herself, which wasn’t often,
Catherine knew exactly what she was doing. Even after all those years, he still
made her feel the way she felt when they first fell in love years ago, a time
she held special affection for. But could she really go back there? The
relationship today made her wonder about the vague future with a man she wasn’t
sure she could count on.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Leo told her. “I’ve driven fast
cars, lived in France; it’s out of my system now. I’m ready for the life we
dreamed of having.” She nodded but his words did not convince her.
Leo got a steady job as a photographer in Jensen’s Family
Portraits, a portrait studio and sought metalworking clients as he’d done in
France. Before long, he had a steady stream of shop owners ordering shop signs
and other trinkets. As always, he liked working with his hands, letting his
creativity pay the bills, and proving himself to Catherine.
Leo made enough money to support himself— Catherine
realized that. But would that be enough to support a family? He was always
changing jobs, and she knew he would never be the type to pursue a traditional
“career” or change his lifestyle.
“Be honest with
entirely? Something Leo couldn’t offer?
Her thoughts drifted back to Walter, someone who didn’t take
her to the hottest places, write poems, eat delicacies she couldn’t pronounce,
or make passionate love in the pale dawn of morning. Yet, there wasn’t a doubt
in her mind that Walter would be a good husband. Leo, on the other hand, would
give her love and good times, but could he give her security? A family? Children? She didn’t
know.
Leo noticed the doubt in her eyes and took her hand. “Hey,”
he said. “It’s going to be all right, I promise. Trust your heart, and you’ll
never go wrong.”
“I know,” Catherine said. But with her heart pulling one way
and her head pulling another, she didn’t know much of anything.
*
Sensing Catherine’s reticence and doubt, Leo decided to do
all he could to banish it from her mind. So, in the weeks and months that
followed, he established himself in Philadelphia, assisting other artists,
posing as a model, and finding customers for his art. The abstract
expressionist movement was alive and well in the City of Brotherly Love, and as
an artistic, able-bodied young man, he had little trouble finding work in the
city’s many galleries and art studios.
He rented a small room in a rough part of town so what
little money he made could be spent solely on Catherine, showing her that he
too could provide for her. In truth, the sheer volume of activities, fine
dinners, field trips, and extravagant dates put Leo in financial and emotional
turmoil in a courtship that was neither conventional nor easy.
At first, Catherine thought she’d confess her affair to
Walter, too, but something held her back; instead, she saw Leo as often as she
could. They met daily—before work, at lunch, late at night, and pretty much any
time Walter had other obligations and Leo’s odd jobs allowed, which was often.
The romance with Leo bloomed brighter than ever, but
Catherine could not sever the ties with Walter. Slowly, she noticed the subtle
ways Leo had changed through those ten years.
Although he had stopped his drug use from his Paris days, he
liked to drink. Despite Leo’s claims of moderate alcohol use, Catherine had
grown up in a home of teetotalers and what looked moderate to Leo often looked
excessive to her. Yet, she didn’t think she could ask him to stop drinking
altogether; after all, she wasn’t his mother. She was his...
That’s the problem , she realized. I don’t know what I am . She could be his
girlfriend, but she also was about to become someone else’s wife, a wife with a
decent fiancé ready for marriage. What was she doing ratting around town with a
struggling artist who had an unacknowledged drinking problem?
When she was honest with herself, which wasn’t often,
Catherine knew exactly what she was doing. Even after all those years, he still
made her feel the way she felt when they first fell in love years ago, a time
she held special affection for. But could she really go back there? The
relationship today made her wonder about the vague future with a man she wasn’t
sure she could count on.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Leo told her. “I’ve driven fast
cars, lived in France; it’s out of my system now. I’m ready for the life we
dreamed of having.” She nodded but his words did not convince her.
Leo got a steady job as a photographer in Jensen’s Family
Portraits, a portrait studio and sought metalworking clients as he’d done in
France. Before long, he had a steady stream of shop owners ordering shop signs
and other trinkets. As always, he liked working with his hands, letting his
creativity pay the bills, and proving himself to Catherine.
Leo made enough money to support himself— Catherine
realized that. But would that be enough to support a family? He was always
changing jobs, and she knew he would never be the type to pursue a traditional
“career” or change his lifestyle.
“Be honest with
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