Fort Lupton by Claudia Hall Christian Page B

laughed.
    The little boy scowled at Yvonne.
    “ I’m never going to cause
a fuss again,” Jabari said. “Never going to yell. Never going to
make a lot of noise and . . .”
    “ How are you going to pull
that off?” Yvonne laughed.
    “ What do you mean?” Jabari
asked. “I’ll just be good.”
    Yvonne smiled. She pulled the small child on
to her lap and held him until he squirmed.
    “ It may surprise you that
your Ms. Yvonne has had some really hard and scary times,” Yvonne
said. “Times I wasn’t sure I’d survive, when big, mean people
overpowered me.”
    “ You have?” Jabari asked.
He leaned into Yvonne.
    “ I would think to myself,
‘If I’m just good, this won’t ever happen again,’” Yvonne said. She
looked down at Jabari. “You see, I thought I’d made it happen by not being
good.”
    “ Did you?” Jabari
asked.
    “ I thought so,” Yvonne
said.
    “ But were you right?”
Jabari asked.
    “ I don’t know,” Yvonne
said. “Some people say I made it happen because of how pretty I am
or because I loved Rodney too much or because we were so very happy
or . . .”
    Yvonne shrugged.
    “ I’ll tell you that I
didn’t want it to happen,” Yvonne said. “And if I could have, I
would have done anything, everything, perfectly to make it not
happen.”
    Yvonne nodded to herself.
    “ I don’ wanna to go back
to Atlanta.” Jabari’s voice was soft. “I don’ wanna to go
back.”
    A fat tear ran down Jabari’s face. Yvonne
gave him a kind smile, and the child erupted.
    “ I don’ wanna to go
back!”
    Jabari screamed at the top of his lungs.
Tears fell from his eyes and his nose ran. He pulled at his diaper
and it spilled all over Yvonne and the bed.
    “ I don’ want to go
back!”
    Stronger than she looked, Yvonne kept him
from hurting himself or her. The child screamed and punched and
kicked. His hysteria rose until he threw up. The child’s emotional
roller coaster continued as he worked through his terrifying
ordeal. Yvonne stayed by his side. After what seemed like an
eternity, the little boy began to calm down.
    Yvonne plucked him from the middle of the
vomit and diaper remnants. She carried him to the small bathroom
off his room. Turning on the warm water, she set him in the bath
and pulled off his nightshirt.
    “ Did you make it happen?”
Jabari asked.
    “ What happen?” Yvonne
asked.
    “ The bad thing,” Jabari
said.
    “ I don’t think so,” Yvonne
said. “I was just there. I suppose I could have made sure I wasn’t
in the middle of the mess. But I was in the middle of a mess.
That’s just how it was. I believe I did the best I
could.”
    “ I’m in the middle of a
mess.” Jabari nodded.
    “ Yes, you are,” Yvonne
said. “Are you doing your best?”
    Embarrassed by his emotional melt down,
Jabari blushed and looked down at the water in the tub.
    “ I think you’re doing your
best,” Yvonne said.
    “ You do?” Jabari looked at
Yvonne.
    “ I do,” Yvonne said. “Mr.
Rodney does too. So does Mr. Chesterfield and Akeem
and . . . Well, everybody who counts.”
    “ What if they’re wrong?”
Jabari asked. “And it’s all my fault? And I have to go back ? And I’m not doing my best?”
    “ What if?” Yvonne
shrugged. “I would still love you. Mr. Rodney too. Your mommy and
daddy. Gosh, Jabari, everybody loves you. Even if it is all your
fault.”
    “ They do?” Jabari’s eyes
opened wide with surprise.
    Yvonne nodded. Jabari scowled for a
minute.
    “ Sorry about the mess,”
Jabari said.
    “ Life’s kinda messy,
Jabari,” Yvonne said. “We’ll clean it up.”
    “ We will?” Jabari
asked.
    “ What else are we going to
do today?” Yvonne asked.
    “ Oh,” Jabari
said.
    “ Your daddy’s in court.
Your mommy’s at school,” Yvonne said. “Grandma Dionne and Grandpa
Bumpy are working. Mr. Rodney, too. You and me, we need a good mess
to take our mind off everything.”
    “ We’re good at cleaning up
big messes,” Jabari