Forgiven by Rebecca Brooke Page B

when I left her last night. I couldn’t blame her if she hated me and didn’t want to talk to me ever again. Looking up into her eyes, I saw that they were filled with anger and hurt—both down to me. As I watched her slowly turn away from me, I knew I had to get out of there.
    Josh let go and I turned and headed outside to the car. As soon as the fresh air hit my face, my head began to clear. I leaned against the side of the car as I waited for him.
    “They’re going to get a ride with the girls,” Josh said cautiously as he jogged towards me.
    My head snapped up and the anger hit me again. He must have seen it in my face. “Don’t even think about going back in there. You didn’t listen to me and now look at the mess you’re in.”
    I threw myself into the passenger seat and punched the dashboard.
    “Yo, man, don’t take your shit out on my car. She’s been nothing but good to us.”
    “FUCK!” I cursed. How the hell did things get so fucked up? Three weeks ago I had everything under control. Since I’d met Angie, it felt like my life was a train wreck—then again it always had been. Unfortunately now it was so much worse.
    Josh looked over at me as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Do you want to tell me what the hell that was all about?”
    “I couldn’t stand watching him flirt with her,” I growled.
    “What the fuck do you care?” he replied irritated. “You had your chance and decided to throw it out the window.”
    “He doesn’t deserve her,” I spat.
    He laughed humorlessly, “Then who does? Because from where I’m standing you’re ready to beat the shit out of one your teammates over a girl you say you don’t want. Do you realize how fucking stupid you sound?”
    “You already know I want her, I just shouldn’t have her!” I yelled, my anger boiling over.
    “Dude, are you going to keep spouting bullshit, or are you going to fix this?” he demanded, his anger equaling mine.
    We pulled up in front of the apartment and I jumped out of the car. Josh shot in front of me and shoved me back. “We’re not done with this, because your shit is now leaking into my life, and I’ve got enough problems of my own.”
    “What? You want to fight now? Because I’m still game.” I scowled, raising my fists in a defensive stance.
    “You gonna take a swing at me or you gonna listen?” he said as he opened his arms, leaving himself wide open for me to throw a punch at him.
    I paused as I realized my best friend was about to let me hit him, just to make me see reason. Dropping my fists, I hung my head and walked into the apartment. Josh followed behind me and flopped on the couch. I turned and headed for the recliner and sat down, my forearms resting on my legs. “I’m sorry, man, I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me,” I sighed.
    Josh looked at me like I had lost my mind and maybe I had. “I’m out of my fucking mind.” I muttered.
    He shakes his head, “No shit, Sherlock. The question is, how are you going to fix it?”
    “I don’t even know where to begin.”
    “Well, let’s start simple. Do you want her?” he asked, looking me right in the eye—almost like he was waiting for me to lie.
    I looked down and took a deep breath, “I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anyone, but—”
    He cut me off. “No buts, just answer my questions. You don’t want to see her with anyone else, right?”
    “No, I don’t. No one is good enough for her and I wanna beat the shit out of every guy that flirts with her,” I admitted.
    “Then why the fuck do you keep pushing her away?” he said exasperatedly.
    “I’m not good enough for her,” I sighed, lifting my head.
    He looked at me with irritation written all over his face. “More of this crap? I want the real reason, especially if you’re going to keep dragging me into it.”
    There was no way I was getting into a story that I hadn’t talked about since the trial two years ago. I did, however, owe him some of the truth.